| Dec 1, 2005 @ 5:54 PM |
Is it cool to date many people?
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karaokekc
Posts: 17
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I'm beginning to think I'm a bit strange cause no one I know seems to agree with me on this:
I believe that when I am interested in someone or interested in getting to know someone that I should focus my attention there. I don't believe in being interested in several people at once. I think that just causes heartache and leads to deception and unclear thoughts.
So my question is: Is it wrong of me to not want to "date" someone who is dating other people?
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| Dec 1, 2005 @ 6:01 PM |
Is it cool to date many people? |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Is it wrong of me to not want to "date" someone who is dating other people?
Sounds reasonable to me. In todays world I would be concerned about dating someone who's dating others. However dating doesn't always mean sex and that's the real danger.
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| Dec 1, 2005 @ 6:14 PM |
Is it cool to date many people?
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Uhh, why can't you just do what you want to do? {scratches head}
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| Dec 1, 2005 @ 6:21 PM |
Is it cool to date many people? |
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storm131
Posts: 46
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Sounds like you are serious about commitment. If, in fact you are, then dating a women who feels differently would be a compremise for you. Nothing wrong with the way you feel, in fact,  it should be very attractive to the right person 
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| Dec 1, 2005 @ 6:57 PM |
Is it cool to date many people?
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lobo65
Posts: 719
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I feel exactly the same way. I prefer to date one person at at a time, and I've been called ancient, weird, and other adjectives for feeling that way.
Eh, what can you do? 
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| Dec 1, 2005 @ 8:55 PM |
Is it cool to date many people? |
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jdctx
Posts: 225
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You may want to focus on one person but its highly unlikely she will at least not here.
For internet dating women are overwhelmed with choices.. some bad no doubt.. But the option exists..
You have to ask yourself honestly... If you recieved multiple daily of which a few were hot and wanting nothing more then to just be with you...What would you do ? Pick the first one and say sure lets get serious or wait and see what developes with the others
hmmm interesting point right ?
.. The truth is even if your wonderful person, she getting email from other wonderful guys.. The way it works is you have to her Mr Perfect in order for her to make the choice to see you exclusiving.. Even an "average women" is in no need to have to settle for any less..
I don't want to bust your bubble, because overall she's probably looking to a serious relationship and your chance of being her Mr. Pefect could be good.
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| Dec 1, 2005 @ 9:48 PM |
Is it cool to date many people?
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nadichka
Posts: 23
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I think the important thing is you lay it on the table. The problem most encounter is when they are dating many people they don't tell those "dates" they are also seeing others. When the "datees" find out about the others they get hurt.
To answer your question "Is it wrong of me to not want to "date" someone who is dating other people?" I would say no...it sounds like you are just looking for one person and you are in it for more of the long haul than the short term. Nothing wrong with that.
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| Dec 1, 2005 @ 9:56 PM |
Is it cool to date many people? |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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You both gotta be on the same page or there will always be tension in the relationship. If you don't like women that date others while you're going out with them; don't date those kinds? Look for women that think the way you do, and want monogamy.
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| Dec 1, 2005 @ 10:47 PM |
Is it cool to date many people?
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buni
Posts: 978
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I don't see anything wrong with it. Just have to make sure that the person you are dating isn't dating anyone else though....(guess somene already said that.just be on the same page)
I know time is short to a lot of people, but I would rather know someone was focusing on me and not 3 or 4 other women at once. If things don't work out you can always move on to the next one.
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| Dec 1, 2005 @ 11:06 PM |
Is it cool to date many people? |
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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i can't speak for anyone else - but personally, i share your sentiments. the only differentiation i would make is whether seeing someone casually (w/o emotional attachment) or seeing someone emotionally.
if people are hanging out casually, and there is no emotional vestment, i think it's less of an issue. however, if i feel that i might appreciate the person on an emotiona/romantic level - i wouldn't have any interest to date anyone else - i'd rather put all of my focus and energy into that one person. If i felt that way towards a person and if they were the opposite, say - still looking to play the field, i wouldn't be able to date that person because it would be too painful.
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| Dec 2, 2005 @ 12:03 PM |
Is it cool to date many people?
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hubbabubba888
Posts: 21
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I have to say I am a woman that has been down that road before.
The internet dating thing can be pretty addicting. Sure, t is nice to get the emails and the thrills of meeting and getting to know someone new all the time.
But, in the end, times like now (holidays) it makes you really think about the time waisted and who you really wish you were with. I love meeting people but it would be nice to not be waking up alone and have that one person you can lean on no matter what...AND know they feel the same for you.
I was with a wonderful man for 16 months, but he was addicted to meeting people - women - online. They called all the time and he would send them pictures and what not - non-stop. Enough was enough. By the time he realized what he had I did not trust and believe in him anymore. The problem was that I never said to him how I felt about it all until it was just too late. He is still my best friend today but all of a sudden we were oil and water....know what I mean.
If you find that person that makes you tick then tell her so. Tell her what you want and need and what you are not willing to live with. Communication is very important. There is a difference between friends on the internet and communicating intimately. Then the person you are actually spending your time with is not getting all of you. And that is kind of important don't ya think....Just my 2 cents
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| Dec 2, 2005 @ 12:50 PM |
Is it cool to date many people? |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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Gawd, Hubba, you put up with his behavior for 16 months??? You have much more patience than I.
I totally agree about Internet addiction. It's almost like a security blanket or surrogate friend for some. It's safe, anonymous, gives us attention, lets us vent, always there. The biggest danger of all is to lose sight of where a real relationship lies. How many times have we not given our total attention to someone because deep down, in our collective dating subconscious, we think the next Wink or email might be The One.
The problem becomes evident, we lose focus and become almost like needy children with a hot video game -- can't wait til the next, new, improved, hot version comes along...lol.
I suppose we lose a lot of great contacts that way. 
[Edited on 12/2/2005 12:51 PM]
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| Dec 2, 2005 @ 1:05 PM |
Is it cool to date many people?
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Guerrero
Posts: 139
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Dating multiple people? If you're open an honest about it... then sure why not.
However, an actual relationship is a whole nothing story.
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| Dec 2, 2005 @ 1:11 PM |
Is it cool to date many people? |
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hippy5d80
Posts: 2
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is it wrong? not as long as the other is open and honest about whats going on outside of their relationship with you.
You seem to know what you're getting youself into. if you want to avoid the heartache then don't....or just don't let yourself get emotionally attached.
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| Dec 2, 2005 @ 2:31 PM |
Is it cool to date many people?
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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What ever works for you. If the question presents itself and you are in fact monogamously dating indicate so. If on the other hand you and monogamy are like oil and water and your desire is to be in an open situation where you do see as well as play with others indicate that. Honesty is the best policy.
If they don't want to know the answer......they shouldn't ask the question.
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| Dec 2, 2005 @ 3:20 PM |
Is it cool to date many people? |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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I'm always amazed at this topic... I've never been able to see more than one person at a time, but if they wanted to see more than I, then I have to allow that, but I also don't have to see them anymore,
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