| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:14 PM |
am i insane or what?
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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o.k. i need some advise like yesterday here please.  i have been away from this site for awhile now because i ended up in a relationship. i have been in so many messed up relationships that now i don't know if i am just being nit-picky or what here. the man i am seeing has a 17 year old daughter who he insists on repeating everything i say back to her. he also makes sure to ask why i say anything i say, why i make any kind of expression.am i the one that is wrong here?
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:20 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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lj450
Posts: 7,871
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Hey M, nice to see you again!!
You shouldnt have to explain why you are you, nor do you need his approval. He repeats everything to his daughter because he apparently feels like she doesnt respect you and wont listen to just you.
On the other hand, you can be a little butthole sometimes......are you sure thats not the problem?
hahahahaha j/k
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:24 PM |
am i insane or what?
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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hey there lj,
the things he repeats are the negative things i say. if i pop off with one of my smart** * comments he runs straight back to her with it.
and i am not i butthole, thank you very much
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:25 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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hey there lj,
the things he repeats are the negative things i say. if i pop off with one of my smart** * comments he runs straight back to her with it.
and i am not i butthole, thank you very much
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:26 PM |
am i insane or what?
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,677
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seems MD is repeating stuff too  
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:28 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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lol. hey if md has any advice on this i'll take it.
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:29 PM |
am i insane or what?
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Mel3
Posts: 422
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So everything you say, he runs back and tells his 17 year old daughter?
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:30 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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yep.
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:32 PM |
am i insane or what?
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Mel3
Posts: 422
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I'm guessing you've asked him why? If so, what does he say?
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:33 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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robodad
Posts: 5,574
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He probably has nothing to say to his daughter and needs your input 
Yeah, yeah, I know...I'm making this up
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:34 PM |
am i insane or what?
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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he says it's because he thinks she deserves to know and they have a very open relationship.they can talk about anything. she is allowed to be disrespectful because she has opinion too he says. she has a "right" to voice them.
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:37 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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Shortiaintlying
Posts: 1,324
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you know the answers you seek. sounds to me thow the gent is failing to see that its more important to to teach compassion, over the right for rantings. she needs to grow up, he needs to wake up and i feel youre about feed up. just cause ya can do something, doesnt mean ya should.
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:40 PM |
am i insane or what?
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robodad
Posts: 5,574
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An open relationship is good, but only to a point. She can voice her opinion, but not be disrespectful.
If your man sides with the daughter on that point, well...you're second in line (the daughter comes first). Either live with it or dump the guy...he won't change.
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:42 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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feed up doesn't even begin to explain where i am at.i understand he loves his daughter and have even said that if it started to get where i was coming in between(?)lol. them that i would just leave first. i have children too that i love dearly.but i also understand that couples should have a different relationship with each other than they do with the children. the only thing different with their relationship and our is the obvious.
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 1:59 PM |
am i insane or what?
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Shortiaintlying
Posts: 1,324
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There you go, why ya tripping? Now all thats left is, how to do what ya gona do? 
To thy ownself be true. The worth of your time and happiness is how much?
 
Your fine as hell, smerts too. This is one kitty thats gona land on her feet no matter whats.
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 2:01 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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 aww. thank you for the confidence
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 2:02 PM |
am i insane or what?
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Shortiaintlying
Posts: 1,324
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naw just a post it note thats been miss placed.  love these facey things
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 2:09 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,028
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It sounds like to me that He has replaced the part of a marriage relationship where the woman is the man's confidant, with his daughter prior to you entering the picture. This is unhealthy. When kids become our counselor's or cheerleaders, it places them in a position where they have to live at a level of maturity that they do not posess. This is sad for her, and for you, because this is a no win situation. Unless someone get's ahold of him and wakes him up to the fact that he is emotionally using a child, and yes 17 is still a child compared to a 40 something, neither of them will have room for you. She will try to hold on to the power this position gives her, and He will not make room in his heart for you, when this position is already being met in her.
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 2:09 PM |
am i insane or what?
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,959
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Nope. You are neither picky nor insane. The man has issues.
A 17-year old is NOT the equal of their parent. To treat your child that way is wrong...on too many levels to go into here.
If you are uncomfortable enough to come here and ask strangers for advice, I always say that's your guts telling you it's time to make some big changes. If he can't create a separate and discreet relationship with an adult woman for whom he supposedly cares, you have to decide if that is the kind of relationship you are willing to have in your life. If not, it's time to tell him "bye-bye!"
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| Mar 6, 2007 @ 2:15 PM |
am i insane or what? |
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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i have spent alot of time and tears thinking about this. i have spent night sleeping on the floor when his 8year old daughter comes to visit because she wants to sleep with her dad and there's not enough room and i have tried some way to understand. i was starting to think maybe i was the wrong one for being jealous of a 17 and 8 year old.
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