| Mar 10, 2007 @ 7:56 AM |
Dating an Older Woman
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uab_5
Posts: 4,759
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Hi,
I've got a friend from therapy that I've recently (yesterday) started dating.
She's a very sweet, kind, caring woman who I've lost several nights sleep thinking of. I told her my feelings yesterday, and she feels the same about me.
The catch: she's 13 years older than me.
Not that the age difference is stopping me, but I fear my father's disapproval. Also, because we're in therapy together, we're not supposed to have a sexual relationship which technically shouldn't be a problem since neither of us have our own place - I live with my father and she lives with a family that provides shelter to those in need of short term housing.
I know society typically expects the guy to be older than the woman. I'm just wondering out loud if this has stopped anyone else.
Any input would be greatly appreciated.
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 8:01 AM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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I asked my mom a very similar question and her answer was "that is about the right age span since women live longer than men, you should live about the same amount of time. Got to love mom for her practicality! 
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 8:03 AM |
Dating an Older Woman
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 8,070
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 You Tha MANNNNNNNN!!!
 Go for it!!!
any questions?
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 8:11 AM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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I don't think the issue here is age, I think it's that you're in a therapy group together! There's a tried and true good reason that they don't endorse dating/realtionships between members in a group therapy setting. Of course, that's not to say it cannot work, but 9 times out of 10, it cannot be a healthy relationship.
The whole point of therapy is to become "healthier" in your mindset, thought processes, issues, etc. Yes, this can take YEARS and no one is suggesting that you should have to remain alone! Yes, it's great to befriend someone who knows what you're going through because they are too. But use caution! When a friendship such as this develops into more, it frequently occurs in unhealthy ways...like codependence and other evils.
Ultimately, you're going to do what you're going to do and hopefully, what you're doing is for the right reasons for you. Good luck! 
[Edited on 3/10/2007 8:40 AM]
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 8:11 AM |
Dating an Older Woman
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fayblack
Posts: 2,828
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The two of you will have a shared experience of life changing proportions ... who better to love? And hopefully for the rest of your life.
Duke your mother rocks!  I really like her maths.
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 8:35 AM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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Have to agree with Di..........its not about the age.............your in therapy.
And the way I feel about age is, if you are wondering if there is a problem with the age difference...then there is a problem.
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 9:20 AM |
Dating an Older Woman
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acslim
Posts: 373
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good point painter
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 10:30 AM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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MusicMonster
Posts: 2,954
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Di is right. Proceed with caution.
But the age factor is probably less important than what the therapy is about. As long as you are mutually attracted, age doesn't really need to matter.
-MM
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 10:32 AM |
Dating an Older Woman
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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I perfectly agree with MM
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 10:37 AM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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Age is just a number. Other things are much more important....maturity level, mutual interests, attraction, respect, honesty, trust, etc....
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 10:42 AM |
Dating an Older Woman
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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What Di said - it's like going thru a really life-threatening disaster together...you're sharing an extremely emotional experience. It's really easy mistaking that sharing for a different kind of emotional bond. Can one of you move to a different group? It might help you decide whether what you're feelng for each other is real or not.
But as for age - it's up to the individuals involved. If it bothers either of you, it matters. If not, it doesn't. The cool thing is that it becomes much less of an issue as you get older.
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 10:57 AM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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Not that the age difference is stopping me, but I fear my father's disapproval.
You are 33 and you fear your father's disapproval? THAT is what you should be worried about, not the fact that the lady is 13 years older than you.
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 11:45 AM |
Dating an Older Woman
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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You are 33 and you fear your father's disapproval? Well, my daddy is not the boss of me, so now I'm with an older woman (who looks much younger than me)
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 11:47 AM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 12:02 PM |
Dating an Older Woman
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Loreli
Posts: 25,413
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You are 33 and you fear your father's disapproval? THAT is what you should be worried about
I have to agree with Mary.
If your father loves you, he will come around.
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 12:08 PM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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just wondering here.. if you are happy isnt that ALLyour father should be concerned with??
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 12:10 PM |
Dating an Older Woman
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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just wondering here.. if you are happy isnt that ALLyour father should be concerned with??
Funny- I was thinking the exact same thing. Great minds....
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 12:39 PM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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bunnybiz
Posts: 4,759
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It didn't stop the person from my last relationship. He was 16 years younger than me. We stayed together for nine years but our goals were different.
Consider if you have enough similar interests, hobbies, think alike, maturity levels etc. that will cover the age difference if you were to become serious.
Age may just be a number but not to everyone.
I wish you the very best. 
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 1:18 PM |
Dating an Older Woman
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,708
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Have to agree with Di..........its not about the age.............your in therapy.
yup cause the age thing doesnt mean anything the guy i WAS dating was 36 to my 51 ..Sweet N Louisiana
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| Mar 10, 2007 @ 1:24 PM |
Dating an Older Woman |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,063
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Ah, Sweet... 
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