| Mar 14, 2007 @ 2:53 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Hi all,
I have worked hard over the last 7 years to become content as a single. I had many failures along this path, but I can honestly say I am quite content with my life now. However I have found that as a side effect, I really have no motivation to "Make" something happen, whether it be making a LDR turn into reality, or working through personality conflicts, or being willing to change to please a potential partner. Why do all this when you are content?
Has anyone else experienced this? Is it truly an obstacle or the first step in finding someone you are truly compatible with? Is this accepting that you will not find the right person?
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 2:58 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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I think that many times when you are happy with yourself how you are, and you are no longer actively looking, that's when you often meet "the one". I don't think it's a matter of deciding you will always be single, I think it's that you decide you are happy with yourself regardles of whether you are single or you are in a relationship. You are open to someone who compliments you, not someone to "complete you" or make you happy.
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:01 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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You have a beautiful smile! See I compliment you 
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:02 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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Oh, you're smooooooooooth, Dukums. 
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:10 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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It was the reason I DID find someone. You'll never find the perfect someone, having to change your personality in order to please someone else is only going to lead to that icky road of resentment. Once I became comfortable with the fact that I was going to be stuck with cheap beer, sticky barstools and even cheaper women, BOOM...it happened, Squirrel Whisperer showed up and rocked my world.
It was only after I became comfortable with singledom that I was able to recognize the qualities and character I needed. I'm one lucky fkr.
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:14 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Yes, you are very blessed. 
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:19 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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I'm one lucky fkr.
Yep...and you're both lucky fkrs.
Considering that I've been living in pretty contented singledom for 30 years or so, I can only say two things -
1. If I can find half as good a match as Pull and Sci seem to be, I'd give up my singledom in a heartbeat.
2. If I don't, I still won't feel that I've wasted my life waiting. It's been pretty damned full, any way I look at it and it's still a blast.
Oops...make that 3 -
3. I've had the luxury of becoming the person I wanted to become rather than becoming someone else...I have to agree with Pull on that, I don't think it can ever work longterm...not happily anyway.
[Edited on 3/14/2007 3:21 PM]
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:20 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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no obstacle just finding one is
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:28 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Twotall.
I like ya bro. A man of few words. I have noticed that about you!
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:29 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Wasn`t an Obstacle for me..perhaps because I wasn`t content. Now that I`ve found someone I`m content.
I do things backwards. 
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:43 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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It sounds like you are blessed, too, Tink. 
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:50 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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contentment could be an incentive
You can be content for yourself and you can find a partner ....both can coexist
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:52 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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Oh, you have pics up now. Neat. Those pics of Italy are amazing!!!! It must be incredible to live there.
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 3:55 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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Thank you Dooney123 !!!
I would like to bring a little bit of Italy .....
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 4:23 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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Not at all.
Becoming content with your Self allows you to relax, to show the truer side of your Self. And in doing so, you then attract the right person for you rather than constantly chasing after a laundry list of qualities and trying desperately to fit into someone else's vision of a partner.
Again, it is all about like attracts like.
( ... worked for me! )
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 4:27 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 8,070
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NO Duk....contentment is not an obstacle. Look at me and DoMe . I got content with her perserverance and WHALA!!!! Pic' showing her awesome calves  ...mmmmmmmmmmm  ....now I just got to get used to discussing the effects of radioactivity on parasitic unicelled organism's with her and we'll be ok  . She likes topics like that, but I get very stingy when it comes to discussing things like that since *sniff*....."that time" 
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 4:30 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Well this is what I thought, but at the same time I found myself much more picky and less willing to work to make something happen, which from a certain logical sense makes you think that you are narrowing down your chances of finding someone. However it is ok too, since being single has certain benefits as well. Like not having to put the toilet seat down.
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 4:34 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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Blondino
Posts: 4,553
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Thing is .. what gives most pleasure .. leaving the toilet seat up or having a soul mate ???
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 4:36 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner?
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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 Oh, did someone mention "the effects of radioactivity on parasitic unicelled organism's"???? I'm all ears.
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| Mar 14, 2007 @ 4:40 PM |
Is contentment a obstacle to finding a partner? |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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Hmmm how about seperate bathrooms.  That will be a win win situation!
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