| Mar 22, 2007 @ 9:25 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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truegent65000
Posts: 209
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Speaking metaphorically, you know how a character in a book is wandering through the woods, trying to find their way, when they've realized they've been going in one big circle?
Well when browsing the ads, and after the years I've been on some of these sites, I would say the metaphor sometimes compares to what I've seen online.
There's some women, single, in their 30's, of whom I am starting to see again, and all over the place. The same person, on the same personal ad sites and other social networking sites, and actively seeking as well. I would see them active throughout the course of a year or 2. Now I don't know if they've been on dates through out that time.
There's this particular one in my local area that I'm suprised I have not seen on this site...lol...guess she doesn't know about it. I swear, she's like Norm from cheers. lol But I guess I could say the same of myself.
But if they've been active on personal ad sites for a number of years.
I have emailed these people years ago, perhaps likea year or 2 a go, but I wouldn't get a response....not interested obviously.
This is when they were probably only on one site....then about a year or 2 later, when I'm still doing searches, I see their pictures popping up all over...apparently still seeking.
A year later I would email them (sometimes thinking of saying, "Hey, looks like you've been on here for a couple of years, I emailed you again, just in case you reached the end of the line, and now back at the beginning of the circle again and realized......you met and found everyone online, lol")
Now, I was wondering, do you think a person is being too picky, when they start seeing the same people over and over again and still refusing to go out with them?
Believe it or not, you come to realize that there's just a limited amount of people in your 50-mile radius Personal ad search, and well, might want to reassess your criteria OR even re-locate.
I live in a rather small area, where most people are taken and get married by the age of 21 or even younger, and the ones that aren't taken, with the invention of the internet, had to resort to online dating, just to see if single people DO exist in Mayberry. lol.
This would limit their choices, so, in theory, should cause them to be more flexible.
Kind of like being in a city, with a limited amount of average looking people there. Granted, all the guys don't meet your 6 ft ht criteria, however, that's all there is , so you might as well make do, right?
So when both men and women start seeing the same faces, should they come to the conclusion that
1. Give up online dating, because everyone they've seen , they aren't interested in
2. Relocate
3. Be a bit flexible in their dating criteria.
?
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| Mar 22, 2007 @ 10:20 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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I don't think people should do any of the 3. It doesn't hurt to have a profile out there in case someone new starts using that service or moves into your area. I don't think anyone should lower his/her standards or settle. It's much better to be single than with someone who is not right for you.
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| Mar 22, 2007 @ 10:41 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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truegent65000
Posts: 209
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I don't think anyone should lower his/her standards or settle.
True, one should not really settle. But, with online dating, there is a fine line between settling and being flexible.
Maybe I should put an option 4: Hang around online, until someone new shows up?
How should I put this, sometimes online dating doesn't help matters much, sometimes I think it spoils some people because you have those whole smorgasborg (did I spell that right? lol) of selections.
Kind of like when you're in a big car lot, and you see one car and go, "Oh...that one is awesome, I love the color...then another car further down catches your eye, and you love the style of it...and OH, another one in the other aisle, it's a Hum-vee!...and...OH...look at THAT one....( and so on and so on)
Sometimes, I don't think it's a matter of settling, but perhaps it's the reverse, it's more along the lines of "I can do better".
Don't know if anyone has Googled "The Husband Store" yet, but that kind of gives you an idea....though it can be said for both men and women.
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| Mar 22, 2007 @ 12:39 PM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,620
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Maybe Future Shock comes into play too...too many options tend to paralyze us.
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| Mar 22, 2007 @ 12:47 PM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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twicethecharm
Posts: 29
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If I'd sent someone an email and not gotten a response, I'd stop sending them emails. No matter how many times I saw them on different sites.
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| Mar 22, 2007 @ 2:01 PM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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i didnt get one from you 
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| Mar 22, 2007 @ 3:08 PM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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with my history of being on the net personal ads for 12 years, I just accept the idea that I am not a commodity that is wanted... So I live my life, stay busy, and entertain myself on the net... there is always a 15% to 20% group of the population that are "spinsters, singles, hermits, cat-ladies, etc".
I think I had over 200 ads posted... I haven't a clue how many are still out there.... of course I haven't been on anything beyond an "initial face to face meeting", in over 20 years... Hope?? Dreams? nah that stuff is all for fools, I live today, for today, and pay no attention to dreams or dreamers
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 1:12 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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IndigoRose
Posts: 1,194
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my excuse ...nobody wants me I'm over the hill I'm speeding downhill on the menopause sled from hell 
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 1:18 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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dowens
Posts: 869
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Oh please, Indi!.........ur very wanted here in Ohio in the 40 to 50 age group!!!!!  ........but can I have first dibs?????............ 
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 2:18 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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IndigoRose
Posts: 1,194
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Cute 
Sorry saving myself for Fuzzy or marriage what ever comes first! That outta scare Fuzzy!
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 9:07 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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trailviews
Posts: 66
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You've decribed where I live perfectly! Though you mention this "particular one", there are a bunch of those here. They update their profiles seemingly to encourage more people to write them, then join another site. I drop them the annual, or more like 2 years, hey I'm still around e-mail, and no response. I honestly have no clue what they're looking for, though as you said, "you could say the same for me," I've been in this town for 3 years and still have a profile up. But actually, I don't think I've ever turned someone down who contacts me and reasonably closely fits what I'm looking for in my profile. At a minimum, I always at least reply and try to figure out if there's any chance. With such a dearth of single 30-somethings in my area, it kind of blows me away when people don't even reply and your interests are very similar. I'd rather at least take a shot at seeing if we're compatible, than not reply.
Yeah, I have a small circle of single friends and we regularly review the list of top cities for singles, and talk about moving to one of them. I really like where I live, but moving someplace with more singles my age is always tempting. I'm never one to suggest lowering your standards, but as much so, if they're holding out for Mr. Single 6-Foot-Something-GQ, I've been around town enough to know he doesn't live here. Maybe a couple of years from now, if I e-mail them again, I'll send a list of good cities to move to.
I suppose it's also possible they're just in it for the attention they get, and they actually lack the confidence to actually respond to someone they might have to be serious about.
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 9:39 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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lou5996
Posts: 28
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I live in a small town in northern wi. pop 502 lol. my friends and i joke about the gene pool and fish in the sea.......... its a puddle with a tad pole. the county is so unpopulated its claim to fame is that we do have not have a stop light in the entire county. lol the idea of moving is center most in my mind, just waiting for the last kid to go off to college. why haven't i moved? wi has a great rule called the 100 mile rule if you get divorced and have children you can't move more than 100 miles if you ex objects. i've been divorced almost 12 years, have just been waiting for my kids to be of age.
when i look online i see the same people (within a 50 mile radius) i've seen for the past 5 years. i think the dream is someone new will move into the area, get divorced, widowed or something along those lines. maybe that's why.
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 10:58 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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Speaking metaphorically, you know how a character in a book is wandering through the woods, trying to find their way, when they've realized they've been going in one big circle? If a tree fell in that forest, would that character hear it?
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 12:44 PM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,106
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Hope?? Dreams? nah that stuff is all for fools, I live today, for today, and pay no attention to dreams or dreamers
I humbly disagree Mr Bear... I believe in dreams and that "stuff" and I am no fool 
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 1:46 PM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,708
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I humbly disagree Mr Bear... I believe in dreams and that "stuff" and I am no fool me too snappy sis me too....... Momma didnt raise no fool.. sweet N Louisiana
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 9:46 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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truegent65000
Posts: 209
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LOL...Trailviews....that's a riot.....we must be kindred spirits (because of our situation)
Though this town is 'kinda' growing, it's still lacking singles. I still consider it a
'Suburb"
Anyhow, there's this one woman that I"ve seen in real life that's been on these sites for
ages, she lives a hop skip and a jump away from me (typically I have to commute to the big
city (an hour away) if I want to date someone)
Then, when I see an ad of someone where I can practically walk to their house, I go
"Halleluah!!" lol
Single Woman #1
But this one girl I had seena round in real life...she went to the local community college,
worked at a video store that I went to, and also a mall store.
A friend of mine (male) used to work at the video store...and he told me she was one of those
guys into the "hunks" Appraently she was giving him advice not to pursue women above his
caliber (since he's average looking and to stop pursing really attractive women ... basically
telling him, "You need to stay within' your league"
Very presumptous and snooty advice if you ask me.....and now I see her face constantly on this
site.
You figured they'd be "humbled" by the low population
The "GQ's" have already been snapped up by their highschool sweetheart/cheeleader and probably
had 2 or 3 kids before the age of 30.
Seriously, this woman will wind up being a spinster with her criteria. It doesn't take much
for me to be physically attracted to a woman anyways.
Single Woman #2
This one is divorced, and 2 kids, is 100% Asian (but an american asian...more americanized)
divorced.
She's on MySpace and she has this strict criteria list...some of it obvious...like "I want a
man who can treat me well, is honest, good education etc.
Then I saw "Either have some material things (Like a motorcycle, nice car, nice house, boat,
or a cabin house in the mountains, LOL!)."
And also: "Ethnic background (Irish,German,Caucasin,Australian,Scottish,Latin, sorry no
blacks or Hispanics or Asians)."
No Asians, and she's an asian?? No problem, there's no single asian men where she lives. lol
I was wondering, if the internet didn't exist would they "Settle" for me? LOL NOt that the
internet helps much when dating.
I feel like telling some of these people, "You know, I consider myself pretty much the cream
of the crop...at least by (name of county) standards or Mayberry standards. Also they can't
afford to be shallow when living out here...otherwise, just pack your bags, and go to New York
City or Atlanta or any big Metro area...because...rest assure you, you'll definately be
sitting home on a Saturday night twiddlin' your thumbs, so it would behoove you to consider
actually REPLYING to those emails from small handful of decent male folk that DO email you.
I figured these small towns would humble them in their dating experiences. lol But I guess
that doesn't stop them.
Most of the people that live here are
1. If they are good looking they are already taken or been married a while.
2. If they are single, they are of the "Jerry Springer Episode" variety. (Meaning a bunch of
toothless rednecks, lol) So the women that move here from the big city get a rude awakinging
and realize this and have no choice but to place an ad on line.
3. People like me, who enjoy their job here, and stay here, and try to convince my "equals" in
singledom they should give me shot. lol Because there's some big companies in this area that
draw educated, single and 30 somethings that never been married from other parts of the
country.
It's disheartening to see their ads up for years, and to still not respond to my
emails...you'd think they'd "Figure it out" right,...that "Hey, this is the limit, might as
well give that nice guy that emailed you a shot."
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 10:03 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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Bojangles102
Posts: 478
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In my profile I seek a woman who has a passion to find a good mate.
This passion isn't sexual. It's the indication of how adaptive/adaptable she will be when she meets someone.
In my view, many women out there have lost the desire to put forth the effort that it takes to make a relationship work for the long term.
Also, take into consideration that a woman can take care of her personal needs, temporarily, with a battery operated device. This reduces her passion to find a mate.
We only go to the refrigerator/cupboard unless we're hungry.
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 10:46 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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IndigoRose
Posts: 1,194
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Never rented,borrowed or owned a bob.... I just go cold turkey...and this is how I feel about that 
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 11:12 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad
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Satellite_of_Love
Posts: 68
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sometimes online dating doesn't help matters much, sometimes I think it spoils some people
That's alright. they can be spoiled if they want. Some people are very picky about what they want, and that's fine. That's their business. As long as they don't come on here complaining about "there's no good guys out there" when they are really just too rigid in their criteria, it shouldn't bother anyone.
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 11:48 AM |
The Cycle of the Personal Ad |
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truegent65000
Posts: 209
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As long as they don't come on here complaining about "there's no good guys out there" when they are really just too rigid in their criteria, it shouldn't bother anyone.
Well, they probably don't come here to say it, they probably say it amongst their friends.
"Man, I can't seem to find anyone that interests me on such and such website" Meanwhile she has a full mailbox. lol
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