| Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:07 AM |
Rejection...
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Or the fear of...
Who hasn't experienced it?
What do you think about it?
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:15 AM |
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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Wow! Good topic. What are YOUR thoughts on it? The only real experience I have had with this is when I am first falling for a guy and I worry that he won't be feeling what I am and then I am sooooo happy and surprised when we are both on the same page. Well, there was that first high school love that took me YEARS to get over......he married someone else and my self esteem really took a hit. It's hard not to take stuff like that personal and think "what's wrong with ME??" Reminds me of Julia Roberts in "My Best Friends Wedding". Take me, marry me, let me make you happy....... 
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:17 AM |
Rejection...
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nah12
Posts: 3,973
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well after being divorced for 26 yrs lets just say if i had a problem with rejection i'd have been institutionalized by now 
it's just part of life like everything else i guess... it comes in many different shapes and flavors...
[Edited on 12/3/2005 11:20 AM]
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:21 AM |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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"That's" why I never go up to a woman at any social event.
Hmmm, maybe that's why the Internet was invented for people like me?
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:24 AM |
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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nah......i am surprised that YOU are familiar with rejection being an attractive, educated, funny woman who  . i thought i was the only one left.
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:30 AM |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Me, a woman??  (Checking inside of pants)
Er, you must be mistaken, Kind Lady. (Slinks back to the safety and protection of his Internet connection, "Whew, avoided another rejection.)
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:34 AM |
Rejection...
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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Rejection is not an issue for me, never been rejected!  Yeah right! All jokes aside, truthfully it is not an issue. If I am not the right person for someone, it means exactlty that. They are looking for something different than what I am. We are all individuals and have different wants and desires. Thats exactly what keeps life interesting. Trying to force ourselves on people who are not attracted to us is foolish and self destructive and we set ourselves up for the pain of "rejection".
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:34 AM |
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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NOT YOU silly.......I said NAH to NAH12 above you where is skinny anyway....he'll explain it to you. he might be sorry to hear your a man though.
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:47 AM |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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NOT YOU silly.......I said NAH to NAH12 above you
Oh, ok then, Never Mind (obscure Emily Latella SNL reference...lol).
Sometimes these responses get me confused, waiting. 
Sowwy, please post amongst yourselves...lol.
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 12:10 PM |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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Hey looks like I got squished i between a slight misunderstanding... Hope you found what you were looking for when you looked "downwards" Motown... 
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 12:21 PM |
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skinnybarncat
Posts: 368
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 ,,,,,,
me fewl low...  ,,,man mean to me... ..say i flame somebody ,,,,,,i, ,,,,me glad regecton no offect me....
mo!,,,,  ,,,fewl better nowe!!! 
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 1:21 PM |
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13lucky
Posts: 304
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I'm rejected daily.. 
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 1:52 PM |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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LOL lucky.
Ahh, not that I'm a relationship expert, but I'd think that's gotta be real bad for the ego?
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 1:53 PM |
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nah12
Posts: 3,973
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Miss Waiting...who me and rejection..dang sweet Lady that's been my near and best friend over the yrs..and who would have thunk it huh...lol...
if i didn't feel it a few 100 times a day i'd began to believe someone out there was really really interested...
Hey Mo...sweetie i don't think you'd ever be mistaken for a female now even as cute as you are.....but i bet you'd look cute in a little blk dress and heels now....
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 3:01 PM |
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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for me, i don't think it's the singleness of one rejection that bothers me. But when you get rejected enough times - over time, w/o commensurate positive experiences to fall back on - that translates into feeling "undesireable". With every rejection, it just pads that "undesireability" one more layer thick. So the rejection takes on an aura of just adding to one's self perception of how undesireable they may be by the opposite sex - hint - it's not a pleasant feeling :)
there are other negative aspects. let's say you come across someone that you think might be interested to get to know you - and the person is really attractive, intelligent, kind, etc. well the part of you that feels "undesireable" kicks in as a defense mechanism and you can inevitably find methods to screw it up before it ever gets up off the ground - thus continuing to perpetuate the undesirability aspect.
I know for me, i've come across people so incredibly flaky in attempts to setup a date, that if I meet someone that has legitimate reasons for having to push something aside temporarily - instead of my normal easy going "yeah sure, no worries dude" mentality, i would be automatically convinced that it was more "flakiness" and then my conflicting emotions would end up just messing it up to the point where the date never takes place. I'd rather not go on the date than go on the date with someone who i feel is "going through the motions just to be nice" - even if that's not the case, then i've screwed myself in an attempt to protect myself - constant rejection plays a very direct role in how we deal with these situations.
All of that having been said, i have enough experience (surely nothing in commparison to some of the gents on this site who consistently remind us of how attractive and sexy they are and how much they get hit on - on a daily basis - god bless) that i can say, if i died tomorrow, i have nothing to complain about. Sure i'll always want more - but i TRY to be grateful for what i've had.
Further, i look at all of the blessings in my life, my current health, my vision, sight, cats, family, etc etc, all the blessing i've had my whole life, and i realize that although being lonely hurts at times, and feeling undesireable hurts as well - those things simply PALE in comparison to the many blessings i do have - especially when compared with all of the things that people don't have in their lives on a day to day basis.
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 3:08 PM |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Yes, I saw your post, Wanda. 
Great point, can't make someone "attracted" to us.
That is, unless you can hypnotize?
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 3:10 PM |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Sirdidymus! I believe your post is the definitive comment on the matter, thx for sharing. 
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 3:20 PM |
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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I brought up this subject because I think it's something we all deal with. And the irrational fear that comes along with rejection can be overwhelming at times. I mean, how many of you haven't talked or written to someone simply because of a fear of rejection?
Like I said, it's totally irrational. I mean, if someone rejects you, will you stop breathing? Will it lead to death? Will everyone laugh at you? Will an alien space ship come out of nowhere and drop you in the middle of skinnybarncat's front yard? How bad can that be, really?
I've just gotten to the point where I think it's funny sometimes. What is the worse that can happen to you because of it? Is your ego that fragile? I don't think it's something to get down on one's self about.
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 3:30 PM |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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I can also agree with what sirdidymus said, someone.
Yes, we should all be able to handle rejection, but what happens when rejection is nonstop and relentless? There's a cumulative effect it has on the psyche that can't be denied. People's optimism tends to shut down from prolonged negative feedback. It's a state I hope we all never have to deal with.
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| Dec 3, 2005 @ 3:33 PM |
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skinnybarncat
Posts: 368
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That is, unless you can hypnotize?
Yes! I can... ...But,  when i wake up i am alone... .......feeling ....regected...
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