| Apr 6, 2007 @ 5:52 PM |
Would you like kids with that?
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Jehosaphat
Posts: 27
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When you get up to my age, it is piratically a given that a lady will already have one or two kids she has dedicated her life to. That goes with the territory of being a single mother.
But if the kids are #1, how can a guy even have a chance?
Not to mention having the mother looking more for a father for her kids, instead of a husband for herself
I am more and more finding it a turn off when a woman mentions her child is #1. Am I being a too discriminating? or is there some merit to this feeling I have?
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 6:18 PM |
Would you like kids with that? |
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minky
Posts: 239
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I think the part your missing is that a good mother could never love a man who didn't
want to love her kids. It's a package deal.
But it doesn't sound like the deal for you 
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 6:27 PM |
Would you like kids with that?
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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There's nothing wrong with someone not wanting kids but kids will always be a priority to a parent. That's just how it is. As the kids get older they become less of a priority but are still very important.
My suggestion is that you search for someone who doesn't have or want children.
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 7:11 PM |
Would you like kids with that? |
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1cebit2iceshy
Posts: 152
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As a (former) single parent, I can honestly say that I would have never put anyone before my child. It's not just women, it's any parent. So ya, you're fulla crap.
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 7:23 PM |
Would you like kids with that?
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Empath
Posts: 5,094
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A partner who is not willing fullfill a supportive and loving role, while the children are still young enough to need parents to protect and take care of them, is not 'parent' quality, and therefore not someone a single parent should even consider as a mate.
When they are older, fine. Then the parents can meet their own needs. Until the children are old enough, responsible and MATURE enough to stand on their own two feet......they are their parent(s) PRIMARY responsibility.
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 7:29 PM |
Would you like kids with that? |
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Shortiaintlying
Posts: 1,324
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yes please,
make it a double.
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 7:34 PM |
Would you like kids with that?
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Seems like a strange comment from someone who's profile states that they "yes ABSOLUTELY" wants children. 
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 7:50 PM |
Would you like kids with that? |
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Shortiaintlying
Posts: 1,324
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Possibly just lookin for an excuse, for the real reason?
but it is strange thats for sure...
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 7:57 PM |
Would you like kids with that?
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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You can still "absolutely want kids" and not be too interested in meeting a mate that already has them. You simply want your own with your partner...minus all the drama that can arise from having to deal with the "other parent."
Personally, I think that parenting would be number one. However, I see too many people that bring it to the extreme and in turn, they don't take care of themselves or their own needs. It's about balance, and I'd imagine that the OP isn't finding it.
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 8:16 PM |
Would you like kids with that? |
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BandTMom
Posts: 28,436
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And remember, not all single moms are looking for a father for her children! Most of our kids have fathers.....we are looking for someone to share our lives but they also must remember that we are a package deal.
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 9:04 PM |
Would you like kids with that?
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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Of all my ex gf's children, I know I could walk up and get a hug from each and everyone of them. I have never had an issue with any of them, we (the kids and I ) became friends separately . And regardless of anything that happened between my exs and myself, we have remained friendly, relationships come and go, but the bond between a parent and a child is truly until death does part..I can honestly say I understand this because I have no kids of my own. And because I have come to realize there is a very good chance at my age, I may never father a child of my own, I would never allow that to stop me from being a father figure to to any child. THE greatest compliment I have ever gotten was from a 10 year old little girl, when she looked up at me and said, you would make a great dad.........( she had recently lost her own father a few months earlier). 
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 9:08 PM |
Would you like kids with that? |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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my opinion would be the exact same. my daughter would be #1 and whom so ever crosses our path would be of a lesser rank, #2 being the desired rank! LOL we be jammin
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 10:01 PM |
Would you like kids with that?
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 12,065
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what some don't realize that even if they ARE your kids , the kids always come first in a crisis...
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 10:11 PM |
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signme
Posts: 9,590
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I won't have my own kids either but I think kids are great. Kind of on the same line as Blu--one of the greatest compliments I get are in school when one of my 2nd graders accidentally calls me "mom"! I know that child is comfortable enough with me to make a slip like that. And that is a good thing. (altho lately I may be called "grandma" instead!!)
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 10:58 PM |
Would you like kids with that?
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sweet5red
Posts: 8,136
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well ok it might sound crazy but although my kids are grown and i cant have anymore i woulndt mind meeting a single / divorced dad that has his kids.. with him .. Sweet N Louisiana
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 11:04 PM |
Would you like kids with that? |
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LibidinistLady
Posts: 807
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Personally if I dated a man who had kids at home and he didn't put them first I would quit dating him. Been there done that. Kids are first until they're on their own then they drop down to High Priority instead of Urgent.
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| Apr 6, 2007 @ 11:06 PM |
Would you like kids with that?
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BandTMom
Posts: 28,436
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 1:17 AM |
Would you like kids with that? |
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Always_Striving
Posts: 7,596
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But if the kids are #1, how can a guy even have a chance?
Excellent question.
Answer, you'll never be as important as her biological offspring. You'll have to accept yourself as a lessor factor of importance in her life. You are more like a novelty item of interest that she will immediately discard once she does like the way you act around her children or start to control her children in ways she doesn't approve.
This is great for the children because they can have evil fun by sh!tting all over you and your feelings and then tell their mom that they don't like you.
Why put up with it? To always be #2 and then once you marry and divorce her shortly thereafter you will be responsible for the children's child support payments for some other man's children whom the kids are probably still very attached to.
Whatta future 
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 1:26 AM |
Would you like kids with that?
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 12,065
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Always...
its supposed to be a blending of families where everyone is equal.. but if a man asked me to chose my child over him for life.. cya!!
I would welcome a man to share my life WITH me and mine and would hope that he would grow to love my children as his own .. if not that would be apparent WAY before any talk of marriage...and if we did get married... my children better respect him like a biological member of the family... I will not tolerate a child disrespecting an adult anyways .. so ...not ALL women who have children are just there to MAKE you support their children Striving... Im sorry you have that opinion of those of us with children ... I can support My children my self tyvm
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 5:56 AM |
Would you like kids with that? |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,337
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Blu.. I can honestly say that you would make a great dad... and step-dad. If I had kids, I would be honored for you to be a part of my childs life. You have all the qualities of a wonderful parent. 
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