| Apr 7, 2007 @ 6:04 AM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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misschoos
Posts: 1,481
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How do you tell someone that you're not
interested in dating them without hurting their feelings?
If someone mails me a few words,
Like 'Hi, tell me more'
I just don't bother to reply If I am not interested.
BUT if they have take the time to write you
a personal mail, it's interesting, has more than
a few sentences, how do you reply to that?
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 6:11 AM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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just be gentle in the let down or inquire some more
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 12:02 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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The last time I got one of those emails, I simply stated I was becoming serious with someone else, and I would be directing my attention to that person, and Thanked them for taking the time to write, and wished them well in their search.  One of those wonderful little white lies to save someones feelings, rejection sucks, whether it is giving or receiving, so I simply treat others as I would like to be treated.
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 12:05 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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I normally say thank you for the interest but at this time I am only looking for friends and nothing more. I use the internet for adult interaction. This also keeps the rejection down.
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 12:14 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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LBIGAL
Posts: 50
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i thank them for the interest, tell them it made me feel good[ the truth], but that i feel i am not right for them and then proceed to wish them good luck in there search for happiness and Gods speed.
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 12:15 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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If he is looking for mariage or long relationship in my case I don't reply because I'm already married
if he is looking for friendship I reply with pleasure  and I start the correspondence
If you wouldn't hurt him ....with kindness you can answer that you are looking for friends only
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 12:18 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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I recently got an email from a man who said he wanted to chat. I told him I was in a relationship but that chatting was ok. I have many male friends I chat with and even talk with on the phone. My b/f has no problem with it as all of these guys live so far away that I will probably never meet them in person. I never got a reply back from the guy. Guess he really wanted more than chat!!
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 1:02 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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with tenderness and gentleness. Be aware of their feelings...........
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 1:05 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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misschoos
Posts: 1,481
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Thanks for the advice everyone.
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 6:58 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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I don't bother with more than a few words on a first e-mail.... 99 out of 100 I send out get no replies, even if I had bothered to write an in depth missive....
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 9:30 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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i don't always assume someone is necessarily hitting on me. I'll just be friendly and nice but if there's no interest in the other person, i won't offer anything beyond casual conversation (i.e. i won't flirt, etc).
9 times out of 10, people pick up on the subtle clues. If someone pushed the issue and bit - i would just be very direct and say that i'm sorry, but i wouldn't have romantic interests towards that person. Being nice is fine, but sometimes the worst of deeds are done with the nicest of intentions. I believe in being direct, but with tact and understanding.
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| Apr 7, 2007 @ 10:29 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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emptypages
Posts: 1,014
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either don't reply, or give them a pleasant "thanks for the compliment, take care!"
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| Apr 9, 2007 @ 12:55 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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Antoinette8
Posts: 431
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I don't bother with more than a few words on a first e-mail.... 99 out of 100 I send out get no replies, even if I had bothered to write an in depth missive....
I guess it depends on what you have to say.
Ya think?
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| Apr 9, 2007 @ 12:57 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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Antoinette8
Posts: 431
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recently got an email from a man who said he wanted to chat. I told him I was in a relationship but that chatting was OK. I have many male friends I chat with and even talk with on the phone. My b/f has no problem with it as all of these guys live so far away that I will probably never meet them in person. I never got a reply back from the guy. Guess he really wanted more than chat!!
Most don't care what you are all about or what your true thoughts are.
Sex is all they want.
No connection on all levels, Just sex.
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| Apr 9, 2007 @ 1:22 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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misschoos
Posts: 1,481
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Most don't care what you are all about or what your true thoughts are.
Sex is all they want.
True
I find that a lot of them think that because they have made the first move
they already have a date on the cards. 
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| Apr 9, 2007 @ 2:17 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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Antoinette8
Posts: 431
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Most don't care what you are all about or what your true thoughts are.
Sex is all they want.
True
I find that a lot of them think that because they have made the first move
they already have a date on the cards. One thing that bugs me is a guy who says "Hi" once and then says
"baby I want to sleep with you"
A crock of shit if you ask me. A turn off big time.
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| Apr 9, 2007 @ 4:31 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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Maybe it comes with age, experience or knowing what is available however to send such a e-mail "baby I want to sleep with you" is something not to cool to do.
You may actually obtain what you're seeking.
I have found in most "let's just meet and get naked" situations the sex is less then satisfactory, maybe a titch better then the ol' right hand. I know as I have been there a number of times in the past. 
Any more there must be some form of not only mutual physical attraction but also a little mental compatibility as well. Again, it's in abundance all one must do is get off the keister and actually meet.
Most often if the attraction is not there when meeting in person it will show. Simply don't set up another rendezvous and don't indicate you're going to call/e-mail them, they will go away.
I have met some true "sleepers" that have E-mailed me. They have looked this way or that per their pictures, simply they were not impressive. Per their picture(s) maybe they appear to old, to heavy or just unadventurous. Then when meeting in person their pictures didn't do them justice. There was in fact actually something there. The mutual attraction thing, the chemistry was prevalent, the sex as well as the communicative ability were phenomenal.
 
For me to type...Thanks but no thanks or just not respond? Nope....wouldn't do it. 
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| Apr 11, 2007 @ 5:51 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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SpiritOrnery
Posts: 24,150
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I almost always look at a profile if the email was not offensive in any way. Then if they do not match my criteria, I tell them, 'Sorry, we are not a match. Good luck in your search.' Or if nothing is in the profile indicating who I am corresponding with, I tell them, 'I go by what is in a profile on whether or not to further communicate with people. And since there is nothing in your profile to indicate that you are good at communicating, I seriously do not think it would be a match. I prefer people that like to communicate well.'
Btw, if someone is that sensitive that they would be offended by anything I say, then for SURE, we are NOT a match. I am brusque and honest to a strong degree and often offend people that are not, sorry to say.
What the heck, I am not here to grow people up. They will grow up on their own if they can hang with the group. I personally think that we get intense growth opportunities here. That is really why I stay around. I have really grown thru being here.
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| May 29, 2007 @ 5:58 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings?
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misschoos
Posts: 1,481
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I'll just tell him to Pi$$ off then 
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| May 29, 2007 @ 6:05 PM |
How to Say No Without Hurting Someone's Feelings? |
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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My reply and I just sent one today, is "Thank you for your interest. I am currently dating a sweet guy I met here on MD. Good luck in your search."
I find it funny though that I have been getting emails lately. My profile says in a relationship. And most of the guys emailing me are way too young. Could it be the glamour shot??? 
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