| Apr 21, 2007 @ 1:18 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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Findmedarlin
Posts: 2
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I have never done this before. Anyone out ther have any experience with long distance relationships? Do they really work? Can you find the love of your life, so far away from home, say like hundreds of miles or even out of your state?
I am curious. I have never tried it. A little leary about it. Thanks for any input from
other members. 
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 1:35 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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KAOS2007
Posts: 8,201
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Odds are against it. Sounds great, till someone has to move. Then the real truth comes out, or, they just disappear. I'd say if you're gonna try it, go in with a huge metal jacket around your heart.
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 1:36 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,061
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Long Distance Relationship Threads
These may help.
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 2:37 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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"falling in love" on the web is a very rare thing... add long distance into the mix, and your chances may be better to win the Lotto
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 2:39 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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at least you have a million to one chance 
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 3:21 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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Shortiaintlying
Posts: 1,324
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when we look atr our own lives, we seem to forget wat it takes to make our dreams come true...
if ya find someone that ya know is worth spending ya forever with. take time, and judge. whats more important. what ya have or what ya want....
sadly most often then not, they cant understand that what is, is. and that if they want their dream come true, they dont wannna spend or do what it takes.
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 3:44 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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When I was 20 I had a long distance romance and it didn't work.
Reasons were:
1) we were too young
2) I studied and he worked
3) different point of views
These reasons could be common to long distance romance and to romance in the same town.
However in our case distance hasn't helped us to outrun our differences
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 6:58 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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MortisDruss
Posts: 1,123
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Long distance friends are great, they never show up unannounced and leave quickly if they do.
I would prefer to find a gal that lives right down the street.... I can't leave my job, my youngest is only 14, I can't move to be with someone, etc.....
There is nothing wrong with adding friends.... but a lover? Much to hard
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 8:19 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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Antoinette8
Posts: 431
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Posts: 2 I have never done this before. Anyone out there have any experience with long distance relationships? Do they really work? Can you find the love of your life, so far away from home, say like hundreds of miles or even out of your state?
I am curious. I have never tried it. A little Leary about it. Thanks for any input from
other members.
I know of two long distance relationship that did not work...In both instances one of them was living in the states and the other in Australia. The one did not work , because the children of one of them didn't want to move to Australia. They had meet by the way in both cases.
The other one was not working as was a bit of a Ma Ma's boy who couldn't let go of her. Not even to be with the one he loved.
There is another relationship that is in the works,that will probably make it. Through the years of communication and understanding what they both believe. Their chance of a good relationship is good. They both live in the states and found each other through a group they were in.
They will meet soon and I know it will go well. They are both great people and they love each other for who they are. Not what people around them think. The relationship is built on trust and total acceptance of what each stands for..
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 8:32 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,334
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I used to think that it was an impossible thing to do. Southern and I met on MD and we live 12 hours apart. We met around 5-6 months ago. When you date someone close it takes a long time to really get to know them. On the date there is a lot of small talk, nervousness and putting your best foot forward. We speak every day all day between phone and texting. I can't really explain it, but we seem to know each other better than I do some people that I've known for years.
Well.....I could go on and on and still not explain it clearly enough. I do know that I am a believer that anything is possible.  
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 8:40 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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DipityDoo
Posts: 377
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I would say it's impractical to try to start a relationship that is long distance with someone you know only onlie. I wouldn't do it.
Do long distance relatonships work out? Sure, they can, with the right kind of people. It involves huge amout of trust and security...not just trust that they won't cheat, but trust in the love, etc. I am in one...with someone a continent away. I met the person while he lived in my city...and we fell in love. Don't know what the resolution is for us, how to get over the distance barrier, because of the children involved. But we both want to.
I always said that I would never get in a long distance relationship and didn't understand people who did. Yet I did. Oopsie. It is a huge amount of stress though, not being able to see each other and support each other when needed, and missing each other. I don't recommend it...unless you just HAPPEN to meet the love of your life.......
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 8:44 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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Antoinette8
Posts: 431
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I used to think that it was an impossible thing to do. Southern and I met on MD and we live 12 hours apart. We met around 5-6 months ago. When you date someone close it takes a long time to really get to know them. On the date there is a lot of small talk, nervousness and putting your best foot forward. We speak every day all day between phone and texting. I can't really explain it, but we seem to know each other better than I do some people that I've known for years.
Well.....I could go on and on and still not explain it clearly enough. I do know that I am a believer that anything is possible. Exactly
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 8:50 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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Antoinette8
Posts: 431
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Do long distance relationships work out? Sure, they can, with the right kind of people. It involves huge amount of trust and security...not just trust that they won't cheat, but trust in the love, etc. I am in one...with someone a continent away. I met the person while he lived in my city...and we fell in love. Don't know what the resolution is for us, how to get over the distance barrier, because of the children involved. But we both want to.
Some you connect to and the distance means nothing..
There are moments of course when you are having a difficult day that you just want that physical hug that will pull you through.
Nothing is impossible.
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 8:54 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,334
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 9:04 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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Antoinette8
Posts: 431
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Some you connect to and the distance means nothing..
There are moments of course when you are having a difficult day that you just want that physical hug that will pull you through.
Nothing is impossible. There are no limits to what love can do.
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 9:27 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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DipityDoo
Posts: 377
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Some you connect to and the distance means nothing..
There are moments of course when you are having a difficult day that you just want that physical hug that will pull you through.
Yes, but a real relationship requires physical presence.....for that daily support, for touch and feel and looking at each other as they speak, to participate in life and activities together and not separately, to actually be a part of each other's lives, to not stagnate and to grow, and because people change on a daily basis and you need to constantly adjust to your partner. If you can see each other failry often...that may be great. However....my situation...we won't be able to see each other until next January. It's a dream to think that an "internet" or a "phone" connection with someone is a real relationship.
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 10:36 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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I say that if you cannot see it possible to physically relocate within a reasonable time of meeting someone (with or without children; there are many factors here but within a year or two is reasonable), then DO NOT actively seek someone who lives a great distance away from you.
That said, if you know your Self well enough to be sure you can endure the lack of physical intimacy (not sex, per se, but simply being around another person for normal stretches of time) then it behooves you to be open to someone who IS both willing and able to relocate to be with you instead.
The internet has expanded our horizons, and I think in a good way. We can meet people we'd otherwise go a lifetime missing. And one of them might...just might...be the real love of our life. Yet it also complicates things simply because that love might be 2,000 miles away and jobs, children, extended family, and, for many, keeping up with the Joneses locks us down to living in one place.
To be sure, an LDR holds far greater potential for a "friends first" relationship. Email, IM chats, and phone calls force us to share our thoughts and feelings in a way that is too-often overshadowed by hanging out and dating someone. As long as both are TOTALLY HONEST with each other. That kind of intimacy is what allows for the long haul, so to speak. That kind of understanding is what gets us through the rough patches by having taught us to talk through things rather than simply react by clamming up. Of course, if that IS someone's typical modus operandi, that clamshelling, and issues seem near-impossible to solve together when far apart, then one can end the relationship without all the stickiness that comes into play when you've been sleeping together, too.
The same cautions apply to beginning an LDR via the internet as with beginning a same-city dating relationship via the internet, though. Trust your guts. First impressions from emails and chats are telling. Look for a growing openness, remember that if someone is truly interested they'll make efforts to get to know you. Really know you. Understand that emails and IM chats may be hard for some, so if there aren't any real red flags, move to the telephone (an "all-you-can eat" long distance plan is a godsend) for some are better talking than writing.
Always move slowly. Facelessness allows for a different kind of openness, and it sadly also allows more readily for lying. Intimacy can be had quickly but it's different and not always valid. That's why you have to trust your guts.
Is it worth it? I certainly think so. But then again, I didn't take online dating very seriously, seeing it merely as a means to meet friends first but open to more. And like life has a way of doing, when I wasn't looking for anything at all, there he was!
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 10:40 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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very true, Sci and YOU are one of the lucky ones
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 10:42 AM |
Long distance romance or relationship????
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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I have another real story to tell...
A friend of mine at 20 years old lived in Italy and on holiday met a young girl from Holland.
He finished his studies in Italy and she finished her studies in Holland...they had a long distance romance for 6 years
At that period there weren't e mails, internet, mobile ...just letters and some rare week end together
Now they are married with 2 sons and they live in Italy.
This is an atypical romance .....but it's real !!!
sometimes dreams come true ..... why not ?
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| Apr 21, 2007 @ 1:51 PM |
Long distance romance or relationship???? |
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theobono
Posts: 2,111
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its a chance to get out of town
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