| May 9, 2007 @ 9:24 AM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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You've met someone, from here or elsewhere. You fall in love and life is grand. You can't believe your luck and you've never been happier. Everything has fallen into place, the two of you are where you want to be, the quest is over..
Then it happens...
Life. Career.
One party has chosen a life and career of service. Decisions were made prior to the relationship that has thrown a monkey wrench into the cog of looooove. You've been assigned to Iraq....Boogiemen are there... You've been there 3 times, twice in the uniform of the armed services, once in the job you hold now as a civilian contractor. So for all intents and purposes, you've paid your dues...you have the scars to prove it....but it's your job. If you don't go, it's the end of that particular career. You're an older person, choices for a new career are there....but the uncertainty of it all plaques your mind.
The first thing they tell you upon arriving in the Middle East is "You can die today"...so not only do you worry about death, you worry what it could do to the one you love. You worry about the stress you're placing on your partner...you worry over that "I've cheated death 3 times and do I have to poke that fkr the grim reaper a 4th time?"
Do you go and leave your love to face an uncertain future for career?
Do you stay and start over?
What is true love worth to you?
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| May 9, 2007 @ 9:31 AM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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academicgirl
Posts: 161
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Wow! This is deep....Ummmm, IMHO love is supporting your partner in whatever they want to do (as long as it is legal--  )and as long as you are not shirking your responsibilities as a civlized human being (like paying your bills, etc.). I expect the same consideration. Children complicate things, but if I was in this situation I would be worried sick, but trying not to show it, and I would be writing and staying in touch in any way that I could. Oh, and I would be praying for the day when my partner could come back to me.
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| May 9, 2007 @ 10:00 AM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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Loreli
Posts: 25,417
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It iS deep.
And 2 things might change whether I followed that career path-children, as said above, and health.In that situation anyone would understand staying back with your love and starting a new career.
The men and women I work with that have been overseas said they would do it again. Except the one that had a new baby-he retired from the service after 2 trips over there.
There are dangers here also-Police officers and firefighters face them every day. I give big kudos to anybody who has been sent to Iraq even once, let alone 3 times.
(I didn't want dandelion tea anyway... 
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| May 9, 2007 @ 10:11 AM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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Lemme state the obvious: this isn't an easy situation. Personally, I wouldn't wanna die nor do anything to increase my chances of dying...especially if I had just found a great love.
Kudos to you for choosing to serve people, be it military or otherwise. On the other hand, as you've stated, you've paid your dues. Starting a new career at any age is incredibly stressful, but you have the advantage of many years of experience and most likely have the means to make a career change. I guess it all comes down to which you want more in your life at this time.
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| May 9, 2007 @ 10:22 AM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,370
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Jobs are a dime a dozen... How often do you find true love? 
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| May 9, 2007 @ 11:01 AM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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I didn't want dandelion tea anyway
Dammit...and I just yanked a bunch out of the front yard too.... 
So most of you would dismiss the career if children were involved, very understandable. If no children were involved, would that change things?
Pete, of course jobs are a dime a dozen....but careers aren't. If you've been with a company for a very long time, progressed and achieved a place within the organization....blah blah blah...it's your career. Your whole life has centered on it for a very long time. You're used to the rewards, you've achieved financial success...it's been your life for a very long time.
Is it that easy to leave?
It's a total reorganization of your life...things will DEFINETELY change...
A conundrum?
TY academic, Loreli, Di and Pete...appreciate the responses.
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| May 9, 2007 @ 11:11 AM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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So most of you would dismiss the career if children were involved, very understandable. If no children were involved, would that change things?
Wouldn`t for me..how often do you find true love..not very..I wouldn`t throw that away for anything..not even a job.
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| May 9, 2007 @ 11:30 AM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,370
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Pete, of course jobs are a dime a dozen....but careers aren't. If you've been with a company for a very long time, progressed and achieved a place within the organization....blah blah blah...it's your career. Your whole life has centered on it for a very long time. You're used to the rewards, you've achieved financial success...it's been your life for a very long time.
Is it that easy to leave?
If your "career" is with one company - it's a job. A job is a job. You could, for example, switch companies without switching your career... yes? But to switch companies would mean you would change jobs. Who knows, Haliburton might have cutbacks, and you could find yourself looking for a job (kidding about the Haliburton part - I don't know where PMF works)... but your career will still be in tact - because you know how to do what you do. If you've tied your career to a job - it's really not 100% secure anyway (unless you're the owner of the company) is it?
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| May 9, 2007 @ 11:36 AM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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It's a total reorganization of your life...things will DEFINETELY change...
Oh yes they do change. It can be the best thing that has ever happened too.
We get into a rut in our lives and think if we change anything we will loose.
We won't though, it is just another adventure in the wonderful life we have been given.
( Oh and think of the joy of helping that little baby squirrel poop for the first time) 
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| May 9, 2007 @ 12:06 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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The decision has basically already been made, but it was a worrisome one...I was interested in hearing what others would do....cuz I'm nosy.
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| May 9, 2007 @ 12:09 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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lj450
Posts: 9,551
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So, tell us what you would do.
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| May 9, 2007 @ 12:12 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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quit and sell slurpees....
Sorry, I was doing the pee pee dance with that baby squirrel and was typing with one hand....see, ya gently turn them over and with a cue-tip...ya tickle their no-no place until they tinkle....very technical..if'n you're lucky, they poop too.
But anyway, having been single for so long and placing all my attention on career, it seems like a no-brainer...go for the love, but then ya start thinking...fk, what happens if things don't work out with the relationship, nothing is guaranteed is it? Career or relationship wise. It just came down to whats more important I guess. I got stuck in a certain career that doesn't really transfer well into the private sector...should have been a plumber kind of thing....
I chose the relationship...
[Edited on 5/9/2007 12:25 PM]
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| May 9, 2007 @ 12:17 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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lj450
Posts: 9,551
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Did you try the old....."Im gonna quit if you send me there"? Depending on how spineless your boss is, it could allow you to have your cake and eat it too (for a while anyway). Unless of course a precedent has been set with others in similar positions........like you have been 3 times, but everyone else has been at least 4.
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| May 9, 2007 @ 12:30 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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"Im gonna quit if you send me there"?
Was and is an option, but....I volunteered many months ago, after the first...like a dumbshit.
[Edited on 5/9/2007 12:39 PM]
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| May 9, 2007 @ 12:51 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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what would you want it to say on your tombstone..........this was a man who loved and cherished his family, he gave them his heart, protected them, and laughed very much......OR He had a good career?
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| May 9, 2007 @ 12:55 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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PullMyFinger
Posts: 967
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lol...
He didn't die homeless
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| May 9, 2007 @ 1:11 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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you will never die homeless........just tell those squirrels to scoot over.
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| May 9, 2007 @ 1:29 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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newlife2006
Posts: 860
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How can possibly career interfere with true love?...
I'd respect ANY choice my partner would do - I'd feel proud of him if he chooses the path of duty and I'd be flattered and forever grateful if he sacrifices his career for being with me. Any assignment is a temporary thing. If one is not willing to wait , there's hardly any "true love" there. As for risks involved - one can get into car accident or any other kind of trouble any minute anyplace, life just doesn't come with warranties.
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| May 9, 2007 @ 1:45 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,711
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How can possibly career interfere with true love?...
I'd respect ANY choice my partner would do - I'd feel proud of him if he chooses the path of duty and I'd be flattered and forever grateful if he sacrifices his career for being with me. Any assignment is a temporary thing. If one is not willing to wait , there's hardly any "true love" there. As for risks involved - one can get into car accident or any other kind of trouble any minute anyplace, life just doesn't come with warranties.
 OMG for once i agree with new life.. love will be there if it is real.. sweet N Louisiana
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| May 9, 2007 @ 3:08 PM |
This isn't about weight, nor an elevator and you're not invited to dinner...but |
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keyaa
Posts: 5
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I just quit my long time very good job in April…without a plan no less or a partner! I quit for piece of mind and I feel good. I have to start over and I am looking forward to it. Every time I have made a choice to leave a job…three times now in my career I always found I ended up in a better place…just where I was meant to be. I only wish there would be a love for me to hold on to. Love would definitely be worth the risk. 
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