| May 26, 2007 @ 9:29 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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LaShae868
Posts: 6
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I met and fell in love with a married man who wants to be "friends" with his soon to be ex-wife. He won't take me out in public because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. They e-mail each other every day. He accepted her invitation to dinner and told me he'd see me afterwards. He cares deeply for her feelings, but doesn't seem to give my feelings a second thought. Am I wrong to feel so hurt? Is there someone out there with a similar experience?
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| May 26, 2007 @ 9:46 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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JimNastics
Posts: 514
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I have no experience with this, because most of the separated women I've met are bitter towards their husband. Does she know about you ? How long have they been separated ? Do they have children together ? How long have you two been involved ? "Need input"
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| May 26, 2007 @ 10:01 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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LaShae868
Posts: 6
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I don't think she knows about me yet. I don't know how long they've been separated. but they don't have children together. We've been seeing each other everyday for about a month. It was love almost immediately for both of us, or so he said so. I questioned it at first, not really believing in love at first sight. But, I've never felt like this before....about anyone.
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| May 26, 2007 @ 10:25 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Well..I`ve never been in that situation...dating a married man whether seperated or not is risky business..he could be just using you ya know. Just saying..I`m no expert on the subject but I`d hate to see you get hurt by his lies and empty promises if alls hes after is a free ride..
Just my opinion...
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| May 26, 2007 @ 10:28 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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truegent65000
Posts: 209
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Yeah, dating anyone seperated is a bad idea.
Esp when they never intend on actually FILING for divorce
There's some people I've seen online they "say" "there's no chance of us getting back together"
But if you never even bothered nor PLAN to file for divorce....that's a bit shady.
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| May 26, 2007 @ 10:55 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,330
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Be very careful. I have a friend in the same situation. You don't want it to come back on you as "the other woman". If they are still so friendly, then maybe they are trying to work it out. You don't want to be the woman that he uses to have a fling before they "get back" together. You will only get hurt. Good luck with the situation. Always guard your heart!! 
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| May 26, 2007 @ 10:56 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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katydid438
Posts: 8,020
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Seperated doesn't mean divorced  Some are actually forced to follow through with the legalities when they finally get caught up in all their lies and deceit. Up until that lifes just one big smorgasborg 
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| May 26, 2007 @ 11:00 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,099
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As long as he is still worried about hurting HER feelings and obviously still has feelings for her, you will never have him completely(emotionally)
The fact that he hasn't told her about you really sends up HUGE red flags to me.. and not wanting to take you out into public smacks of wanting to hide his relationship with you from her.
My opinion is that you should stop seeing him until(and if) he tells her about yours and his relationship and then puts more effort into YOUR feelings. If you suspect that he is just telling you he loves you to keep you around, chances are your instincts are correct.
Stop seeing him and see what happens between him and his soon to be ex.. if he contacts you and tells you that he has told her about seeing you then you know he is willing to work on something with you... otherwise.. don't waste any more of your energy on waiting to see if he wants something with you.
Hope this all has a good outcome for you!
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| May 26, 2007 @ 11:22 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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Trust your guts here. He's hiding you for fear of upsetting a "soon-to-be ex-wife"? Regardless the reasons why, none of them are healthy for you so it would be best to step aside until such time as he is a truly free man.
Which may be never, btw.
Time to get outta Dodge and find your Self a real cowboy.
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| May 26, 2007 @ 11:29 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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everrett
Posts: 471
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Well he could be trying to make sure that the divorce does not become a messy affair. What could be amicable could turn ugly if one, or both of the parties starts getting hurt feelings.
Whatever the reason, I do agree with the other posters, that you should slow things down until his life is a little less messy.
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| May 26, 2007 @ 11:31 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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I dunno sounds iffy to me .. if he is separated truly then why is he hiding you??? sounds more like hes playing on the side to me 
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| May 26, 2007 @ 11:35 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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katydid438
Posts: 8,020
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Some men can claim to be, or, in the process of seperating for years. When you hope for some kind of a commitment they fall back on that old line "well you know that I am still legally Marrried" I PROMISE myself never to get caught up in that trap again. The emotional pain has almost destroyed me and the self confidence it has taken years to get back.
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| May 26, 2007 @ 11:36 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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LaShae868
Posts: 6
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Thanks, snappygoddess, you hit the nail right on the head.
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| May 26, 2007 @ 11:37 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,085
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sounds like the typical "seperated" relationship to me. you should be bright enuff to know the rules to most of the match games by now. whether we follow the rules or not, that is our choice. we be jammin
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| May 26, 2007 @ 11:45 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Snappy is a very very smart lady...  
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| May 26, 2007 @ 11:55 AM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,050
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I agree wih Snappy...and especially what Becky said.
If a man won't take you out in public, he's hiding something....plain and simple. And to put a dinner with her ahead for a date with you, well that just tells me he is still married to this woman.
It's time to find some one who is emotionally....and since he sounds suspisious..legally available.
I'm afraid you're only gonna get hurt down the road.
[Edited on 5/26/2007 12:42 PM]
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| May 26, 2007 @ 12:01 PM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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houston we are going to have a problem
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| May 26, 2007 @ 12:57 PM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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Some years ago, when I was younger.... I met a boy who has been engaged for 1 year only with a girl
We became very very closed, but his ex girl friend drove him/us crazy .... she always called him in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening....his mobile and his e mails were full messages of her ...she was a real nightmare
We couldn't go out together because he wasn't able to break off ....he was afraid of her reactions ....
Conclusions ?
Now after 6 years I got married another man, she got married another man and now he is an unhappy single .....
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| May 26, 2007 @ 1:05 PM |
Dating a married (but separated) man
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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Suggestion ?
Think well about your life and what you really wish
Do you wish a man who is not able to get away from his past ?
Now you are his present
I can understand his feeling for his ex wife, he cannot cancel his story, it's not correct....but now you are in his life and he should start new life with you and his ex wife should be just a reminder ....nothing more ....
Good luck
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| May 26, 2007 @ 1:26 PM |
Dating a married (but separated) man |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 17,992
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Until your feelings are the most important thing to him.....let him go....if it is supposed to be it will be. this doesn't sound too healthy for you emotionally....listen to the good counsel here and good luck to you! 
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