| Jun 19, 2007 @ 2:11 PM |
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HollyDaze
Posts: 924
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politely tell someone they're moving too fast? That they're coming off as clingy? I like this guy a lot.. but he's coming off as clingy. What do I do?
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 2:22 PM |
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Azuras
Posts: 755
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Not a good sign.........How long have You know him????
clingy guys usually end up tuning out to be control freaks.....
not all but most...........
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 2:24 PM |
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HollyDaze
Posts: 924
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We've been out twice, but he seems like he just too into me. Bunch of "I miss you"s and ' I'm thinking about you"s like four and five times a day.
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 2:28 PM |
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Azuras
Posts: 755
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Bunch of "I miss you"s and ' I'm thinking about you"s like four and five times a day.
Yikes spooky......Maybe He's infatuated with You??...when was the last time He was in a relationship???
That is way too soon to be saying I miss You on a romantic level...
Draw Your boundaries if He can't accept them then He's not the one for You..He has already made You feel uncomfortable only a few dates in....not a good sign....
Be honest with Yourself and say......Your going too fast for Me
if He doesn't understand You will see a whole new side of Him you probably don't want to know...
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 2:33 PM |
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HollyDaze
Posts: 924
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That's kind of what I feel is going on... the last time someone came on to me like gangbusters... I ended up calling the police due to a jealous fit of rage. I just don't want to punish this guy for the other guys actions.
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 2:40 PM |
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Azuras
Posts: 755
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I just don't want to punish this guy for the other guys actions.
Well draw Your boundaries as to what Your willing to accept, two dates and being clingy is way too unhealthy It's really up to You if his other qualities that You enjoy about him can out weight his behavior at this present time then that's for You to judge.
another way to look at it is What do you have to lose at this point Your only two dates in...if He acts like a freak cut Your losses and be happy Your out of it.
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 4:57 PM |
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tulip717
Posts: 1,665
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You just say it!
If your going to have a relationship honesty and communication is a must!
If that doesnt work...........walk up to him and poke him in the eye.
That should get his a ttention OP
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 5:34 PM |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,337
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sounds like a stalker waiting to happen hon.. be careful..
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 5:59 PM |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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Depending upon his experience level of dating, he may think that is what you desire to hear. Apparently it not only happens with men, women also say the very same things.
If you think it's odd or it allows you to be uncomfortable possibly the time is now to have a heart to heart with him. Simply voice your concerns and see what his response might be.
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 6:02 PM |
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robodad
Posts: 5,866
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Have a friend with you when you explain things to him 
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 6:04 PM |
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wiccked
Posts: 4,411
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Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson will do very nice!!!!!!!!  great friends !!!! 
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 6:11 PM |
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luvmycats
Posts: 9,744
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Wiccked is right, a girls BEST FRIEND, when it comes to bozo's like this.
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 6:11 PM |
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your_princess
Posts: 3,152
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i agree with the rest, becareful...clingy is often a sign of insecurity which could lead to bigger issues down the road. Make things clear on how you want things to go and what your intentions are. perhaps have a conversation about past relationships where a guy was super clingly and how it drove you nuts, give subtle hints and if he doesnt get the idea...probably never will.
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 11:21 PM |
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theobono
Posts: 2,111
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when he calls tell him you're busy doing this and actually get really busy.....screen your calls...don't make yourself so available.....date other people...just suggestions
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| Jun 19, 2007 @ 11:31 PM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,282
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I honestly think it is a red flag. I don't mean you should stop seeing him, just tell him you are busy, going some where with friends. That right there will tell you what he really thinks. Do it more than once though.
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| Jun 20, 2007 @ 12:05 AM |
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robodad
Posts: 5,866
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Woah! Just because he's "clingy" doesn't mean that he's a stalker. He sounds like he's possessive and a weeeee bit infatuated.
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| Jun 20, 2007 @ 12:08 AM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,282
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Not saying he is a stalker Robo, just telling her what I would do in this situation.
This after only 2 dates? And leaves 4-5 messages a day to her?
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| Jun 20, 2007 @ 12:26 AM |
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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One thing I have found, is these online getting to know someone kind of things, is it is totally different than real life. Sometimes you get those butterflies....just starting to flutter a tiny bit in your belly, and because of what ever reason, this person stirs up something inside of you, and you want to let them know, but without actual interaction you have no idea how to take the words that are typed.....Yes, so of you are right, this may be a red flag, or it may be a nice guy who just simply............likes you....... 
All I'm saying is don't sh!t can the guy for liking you, and open enough to say so......
Just simply treat him the way you would like to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot.....then go from there..........I mean what do you have to lose......a friend, a lover, a soul mate..........or whatever. These forums are full of folks who wish there was someone close enough they were interested in. Seems silly to me to jump to a conclusion, and screw something up that never really got started in the first place.
Just simply tell him, that the attention he is giving you, is starting to make you a bit uncomfortable, and you thought enough of him to mention it, so it doesn't present a problem. Now, this may hurt his feelings a little, and after all it should......that is if he is a gentleman, and how he handles this will tell you a lot. Tell him how you would like the relationship to develop,or what you expect, and see if he is on the same page.
Just remember the butterflies, at one time you thought they were great, but sometimes one person has a few more than the other......
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| Jun 20, 2007 @ 12:30 AM |
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signme
Posts: 9,590
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As always, Blue gives the best advice. I'd go to him if I needed help.
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| Jun 20, 2007 @ 12:46 AM |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,494
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its a funny thing... none of us want someone who is clingy.... but, I'm sure all of us have been in both role's....
it ties into my rule of relationships,
"Whoever cares the least has all of the power in a relationship....."
it sucks, but is very true.... of course be careful of anyone who is nervous and clingy... it may just be someone who is lonely, and has forgotten....
If you grasp too tightly, opportunity slides through your fingers.....
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