| Jun 24, 2007 @ 9:07 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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truegent65000
Posts: 209
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With online dating, I hear posts and other stories (even in real life) of how people got:
1. Blown off
2. Rejected
3. Lead-on (basically, was lead to think they'd be a "face-to-face" meeting, but was strung along.
4. The individual flaked out of the prospective date
And more more....
I've decided to take part in social groups in the local area (basically from a website) where people actually meet face-to-face for BBQ's, Hiking, Camping, Canoeing, going out dancing, etc)
People sign-up to go, all meet in person, etc (they are sometimes singles groups, sometimes they are just groups with people who want to get out of the house.)
Lately, though, it seems some of the people I had corresponded with online, are now appearing to sign-up at these parties, and some I have met at these parties.
This one woman in particular who I met online, emailed back and forth, and then she flaked on me about meeting for lunch or coffee and that was the end of that. Happens all the time to the best of us, right?
Anyhow, for example, this one particular lady has signed up for an event that I, too, also signed up for.
This would mean, I would see her in person. Chances are, she MIGHT recognize me as the man she blew off online or perhaps she got cold-feet, who knows, right?, LOL.
Now, since I might be bringing the chips and dip and she'll be bringing other stuff, lol....if I see her in person, should I introduce myself?
Start all over...?
But this time.....face to face?
My question is this, to put it basically, would someone who rejected/blew you off online, would she do it in person?
Theory here is, I think it has been explained before, with online-dating, body language, voice-tones, mannerisms, etc are not put into play, but in person....it is put in play.
They are kind of a "captured audience" and indirectly "forced" into listening to what you have to say. Forcing the person to get to know the real you.
So, I was wondering, should I introduce myself as a BRAND NEW individual, act as if I have NEVER seen her before in my life?
Start "anew" so-to-speak"?
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 9:19 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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loisday
Posts: 1,333
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Wait for her to approach you. If she doesn't..........................you have your answer............................ 
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 9:22 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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twotall911
Posts: 12,863
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she might not show
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 9:29 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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So, I was wondering, should I introduce myself as a BRAND NEW individual, act as if I have NEVER seen her before in my life?
Wouldn`t that be a bit dishonest? 
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 9:37 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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truegent65000
Posts: 209
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So, I was wondering, should I introduce myself as a BRAND NEW individual, act as if I have NEVER seen her before in my life?
Actually, not saying anything would neither be honest nor dishonest. Dishonesty is out right lying.
Going up to her and saying, "Hello, my name is Bob, what's your name?" And pretending I've never seen her before is not being dishonest, I mean that's what I think.
Would it also probably take away from creeping her out, or putting her on the defensive.
I mean, would saying, "Hello, my name is Bob, I believe we've met each other on (Name of Dating Site), so nice to see you in person"
At the moment I'm saying that, would she be thinking, "Oh, crap, I flaked out about meeting him in person/blew him off, and now what do I do?"
Would that not make for an awkward conversation?
This is something new to me, so It's a bit of a quandry.
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 9:41 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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Ok..I suppose it would depend on whether she seen a pic of you at the time she blew you off..just go with whatever you feel is best.. 
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 9:47 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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loisday
Posts: 1,333
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Why would you even want to take a left turn onto a clearly marked dead end road, when a simple right turn would lead to the open highway?
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 9:47 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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LBIGAL
Posts: 48
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i think you need to go with your gut instincts......and for pete's sake, just go with the flow, and try not to have any preconceived notions as to what may happen.....i know easier said then done......have a good time, and take it as it comes......just my two cents for what it's worth!... 
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 10:01 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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the main thought for me would be , was she playing the game? or was she simply so shy that she could not force herself to meet you. i would try to think of some reasons as to why she would not want to meet me. if in conversation(s) with her she said without a doubt that there could be something between the two of you, it could only be shyness. there are some people that are actually delusional and truely do not feel that their actions are detrimental. a very simular incident occured with me saturday morn. it wasn't that we planned to meet or anything, its just that i emailed several times without getting an answer. from the male prespective it was because of one word. CURVY yep she was curvy, there were quite a few curves from her shoulders to her hips! possibly a few below her hips. i am glad i got to see her in an open setting. low stress to no stress. perhaps "WE" could approach an initial meeting to more as to bumping into each other instead of a date? oh, just remembered another. she told me she would be returning and would be on the morning plane. so i waited at the airport till lunch. nope she didn't show up. "change of plans" that was the "blow off" for me even though she wanted to continue the chat. party was over and i went home. LOL
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 10:19 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,470
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They are kind of a "captured audience" and indirectly "forced" into listening to what you have to say. Forcing the person to get to know the real you.
If she had no interest in you online, with the very real nuances that come into play in real life, she will approach you in person if she is interested.
By introducing yourself knowing you may receive a "captured audience" or a situation that "forces" her to get to know you seems, well forced. People don't respond well to forced situations.
Consider just saying hello, and letting her strike up a conversation if she is interested. You will have your answer shortly after having said "hello". You will easily catch the vibe of whether or not she cares to communicate further.
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 10:21 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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tulip717
Posts: 1,665
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Start anew, cyber and real life can be very different and good luck Op.
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 10:37 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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dooney123
Posts: 3,446
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2. Rejected
3. Lead-on (basically, was lead to think they'd be a "face-to-face" meeting, but was strung along.
4. The individual flaked out of the prospective date
None of those things have happened to me online. Just because someone sends some e-mails back and forth doesn't mean he/she is going to go out with you.
You should just go to the function and be polite. Don't purposely ignore her or avoid her, but don't go out of your way to introduce yourself to her either. Just see how things go and use your judgement; try to not put her on the spot and embarrass her. If you're not sure, it's always better to keep your mouth shut.
[Edited on 6/24/2007 11:31 AM]
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 10:50 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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BandTMom
Posts: 28,444
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If you're not sure, it's always better to keep your mouth shut.
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| Jun 24, 2007 @ 11:11 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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as the gals have pointed out, what direction do you want to go? who knows, she may have lots of curves! LOL as the gals said, "play" along, do not push unless she isn't what you are looking for. be casual until you find out the truth. i was and did! in my situation i am sure I could have created a intense confrontation should i have chose. but, we saw each other and went our seperate ways. i was blessed 
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| Jun 27, 2007 @ 10:42 PM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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JayBird747
Posts: 728
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TG, you gots to take it a little easier. Bein pushy jest ain't gonna work fer ya. You can't get gals to like ya by tryin ta force a square peg in a round hole. It jest don't work.
Anyhow, for example, this one particular lady has signed up for an event that I, too, also signed up for.
This would mean, I would see her in person. Chances are, she MIGHT recognize me as the man she blew off online.
This reminds me of yer "she apologized profusely" thread, where some gal wasn't interested but ya showed up at her work.
If you manage ta get this gal cornered at an event, you may twist an apology outta her too, but she ain't gonna appreciate bein pursued.
You remind me of a funny wall poster I read one time, said, "If you love something set it free. It if comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and beat it into submission."
That line is spossed ta be funny, but it sounds pretty close ta the way ya been doing things.
There's many pebbles on the beach, my friend. Ya gotta open alotta oysters ta find a pearl.
Here it is summed up.
If you go after a gal an she ain't interested (who cares what her reasonin is) then;
1. Don't sign up fer "events" the she goes to
2. Don't show up at her work
3. Don't enroll in the same college classes she is in
4. Don't start going to her church.
Now come back with yer standard "well I can do alla that stuff if I wanna" Yea, ya sure can. It's a free country, but it is a stupid stupid stupid ploy, and a gal can see through it from a mile away. If the goal is ta get the gal, them ignorant-arse tactics ain't gonna work.
That's the advice from the bird. Do whatever ya want (which is what you'll do anyhow). If you want, keep on keeping on like ya have been, and come back here ta piss and whine bout yer poor results.
The bottom line is, ya ain't gonna improve yer success rate until ya change yer methods.
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| Jun 27, 2007 @ 10:47 PM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 3,818
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dis·hon·es·ty (dis-on'i-ste) Pronunciation Key
n. pl. dis·hon·es·ties
1. Lack of honesty or integrity; improbity.
2. A dishonest act or statement.
Dishonest act.. to act as if you don't know her!
Omission is lying.. period
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| Jun 27, 2007 @ 11:29 PM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 12,065
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This reminds me of yer "she apologized profusely" thread, where some gal wasn't interested but ya showed up at her work.
I thought this too 
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| Jun 29, 2007 @ 7:26 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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JayBird747
Posts: 728
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Naah, forget bout alla that. I think TG is right. Its a vast female conspiracy to deprive the poor young lad of his fair share a vagina.
I think he's got ever right to demand what is due him. Somebody should bring him some on a silver platter with a nice sincere apologizin.
He outta kick his feet and throw a tantrum till someone does. (oh yeah, he doin that already)
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| Jun 29, 2007 @ 8:00 AM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person?
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truegent65000
Posts: 209
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1. Don't sign up fer "events" the she goes to
2. Don't show up at her work
I see Jaybird is even stalkin' me on this site, I seem to have a fan. LOL. But the lame attempts to throw me under the bus were already refuted anyways.
On number 1 to 4, it all depends really, if it's all premeditated, that's one thing.
For number 1, I attend these events regularly anyways, plus there will be other women there to pursue as well..not just her. I already had intentions of signing up as it was.
For number 2., If you're referring to my going to my favorite restaurant that I have been going to since BEFORE she worked there, that's an exception, it's pretty irrational to think otherwise.
As far as 3 and 4, and any other stuff you said or will say....
It all depends really, I'm not going to stop going to venues just because SHE just so happens to be going there as well is going to be there ,it's rather stupid to think that.
I'm sure others here would definately agree.
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| Jun 29, 2007 @ 3:03 PM |
Blown-off online, will it mean being blown off in person? |
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JayBird747
Posts: 728
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I see Jaybird is even stalkin' me on this site, I seem to have a fan. LOL. But the lame attempts to throw me under the bus were already refuted anyways.
I think yer sufferin from illusional granderrier. I AM a stalker, but you ain't my type. Sorry.
For number 1, I attend these events regularly anyways, plus there will be other women there to pursue as well..not just her. I already had intentions of signing up as it was.
For number 2., If you're referring to my going to my favorite restaurant that I have been going to since BEFORE she worked there, that's an exception, it's pretty irrational to think otherwise.
As far as 3 and 4, and any other stuff you said or will say....
It all depends really, I'm not going to stop going to venues just because SHE just so happens to be going there as well is going to be there ,it's rather stupid to think that.
Knock yerself out, bozo. You come here whinin ever whip stitch askin fer advice, then get all defensive when people speak the truth to you. I was just tryin to tell ya the real deal, but I don't really expect ya to change anything, nor yer situation to improve, ta be honest bout it.
I'm sure others here would definately agree.
Well, even you agree that yer havin trouble in the woman department. If ya ain't smart enuff ta figger out what yer doing wrong, the prospects fer imporvement are pretty slim.
Last, I ain't interested in throwin you under no bus, but I'll bet some a the women ya been harrassin would be happy ta see it done.
[Edited on 6/29/2007 3:10 PM]
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