| Jul 4, 2007 @ 12:19 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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TallBlonde1
Posts: 404
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I don't know if this has been asked before, please forgive me if this is an old topic.
I'd like to ask both men and women....
Would you rather date someone who was single, never married with no children or someone that had children and/or was divorced?
Does it matter at all? Or if you have a preference, why?
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 12:26 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids |
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signme
Posts: 8,892
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It doesn't matter to me. I have no kids but I teach 2nd grade. I love kids. Being away from the kids after school is great but if I met someone with kids or grands, I'd love that too.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 12:29 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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dooney123
Posts: 3,424
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I would prefer to date someone who is divorced with kids. I've dated both guys who are single and guys who are divorced.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 1:32 PM |
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Checkmate
Posts: 185
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Would you rather date someone who was single, never married with no children or someone that had children and/or was divorced?
The older you get, the quicker the choices go down. It's very rare to find someone who doesn't have kids and even rarer that they haven't been divorced!
For me, it wouldn't matter if they were never married or were divorced.
Kids would be the primary influence. Not saying I "never" would, because there are a lot of variables. I never had any myself and never dated anyone with them. (Well, just once when I was in a bind for a banquet and a friend helped out.) Kids and I get along well. But I just never thought I'd have the patience, time & resources to raise kids right. I'd worry too much. 
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 1:43 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,768
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i don't know if i'd really date a guy with kids, i honestly don't think i'm mature enough for the mother role.
my sister 13 now so though i do play the mother role with her she's independent enough to make her own decisions, coherent enough to tell me what she wants, and she goes off to be by herself a lot of the time.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 1:46 PM |
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blueyes101
Posts: 7,966
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Do I have a preference? Nope, not at all. My search for the "right " woman, has nothing at all to do with marital status ( well preferably not married now.....  ) and or children. She is living her life, my preference would matter little. Either it all works or not, you can't just take the convenient parts, and ignore the rest.
Nope, I 'll take the right one, any way she shows up.... 
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 1:54 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,609
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well, all the munchkins know me by now! if she is a tall redhead, kids are fine as long as one is mine! LOL we be jammin 
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 2:25 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids |
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Microchip
Posts: 477
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Although I absolutely LOVE children, it's much easier if my prospective doesn't have any. But then agin, if they have no children, they saddle tehmselves down with pets, so they can't go places anyway! If by my age they were never married, I would be very suspicious.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 4:29 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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witchietoo
Posts: 2,629
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Honestly, it doesn't matter to me. I don't have any kids, but I love them, so if he had kids, I wouldn't have an issue with that at all.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 4:37 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids |
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The_Boy_Next_Door
Posts: 128
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Well for me. I decided when I got into this dating thing, that I wanted someone that wasn't tied down. This is my time for a second life, so to speak. But I would not have ruled out anyone with children as long as we clicked. I don't see it as a handicap so much, Some people like their time away from their mate for whatever reason, be it kids, the guys, the girls. I got very lucky not to have to settle for waiting for the 100% together time.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 4:41 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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signme
Posts: 8,892
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Well I have cats but they don't necessarily tie me down. It's more like my job does that! LOL
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 4:51 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids |
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truegent65000
Posts: 209
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I was opened to both, but a friend of mine who married a woman who had kids, told me, "Now, if you start getting serious with a woman that has kids, you would probably have to take on "fatherly-figured" roles...because,a fter all, you will be living under the same roof.
So, that kind of had me thinking.
Also, I think I would date a single mother if her kids were like teenagers, if they were little tykes that still can't warm food in a microwave or make a sandwich, while Mom goes on a date, there might be an issue there.
I guess what I'm saying is, the kids have tobe old enough to fend for themselves, and at least be somewhat independent, sometimes their teenaged kids have "dates" themselves, and want to be left alone. :)
If they are 8 years old, also, I ask if they have FULL or Joint custody...and if they say, "full" there could be a problem there....because that means the mom can NEVER get time alone when she sends the kids off to the ex.
Yes, in deed alot of variables.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 6:53 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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TallBlonde1
Posts: 404
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Thanks everyone for the comments so far  I was looking for some insight, this is great.
Dooney, may I ask why you prefer married men with kids over single men? Has your experience shown they are very different?
Microchip, what about being single at a certain age makes you suspicious?
Sigme, Check, LGQ, Blue, Jerry, Witchie, BND, True....thank you
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 7:17 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids |
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JayBird747
Posts: 728
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Well, the knee-jerk reaction is that "no kids is better" but really it can be either way.
One thing is sure, kids complicates it. Now that may not be in a bad way.
What I mean is.
You are mixin relationships. Ya might get along great with the kids, then things fizzle with the person you are dating. Usually, by default the relationship with the kids si severed too. If ya been round long enough ta be attached, that can be pretty rough.
Anothern is the kids hate her guts cause they think yer a replacement fer one their parents. When yer in that situational, you can stand on yer head trying to win them over but it just won't happen.
The upside is, if both parts click, you can have something really wonderful and pleasin on many facets.
If I had to anologizate, I'd say the kids things is just raisin the stakes of a poker game. The risk is greater but the potential pay off is bigger.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 7:19 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,416
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You are mixin relationships. Ya might get along great with the kids, then things fizzle with the person you are dating. Usually, by default the relationship with the kids si severed too. If ya been round long enough ta be attached, that can be pretty rough.
My oldest son is still having this problem. He really did love them, now they are gone.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 7:52 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids |
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dooney123
Posts: 3,424
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Not married men; divorced men with kids. Because I like kids. The single guys that I've dated (my age and older) are either controling and selfish or weird. I don't rule them out; it's just my preference if I were to pick.
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 8:00 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,401
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I'm older, so it's a bit different for me, but I prefer men with kids, just cuz they're more likely to understand the fact that whether they live with you or not, you're tied for life..at least some vacation time is gonna be spent with them if they're out of town, or they'll be visiting.
That said, my LTR's tend to be with childless men. I dunno. 
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 8:20 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids |
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TallBlonde1
Posts: 404
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 Opps! Sorry about that Dooney, I meant divorced men
Thank you
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 8:30 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids
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NatGoat
Posts: 4,213
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It doesn't Matter . . !!!
It's the personal Chemistry that makes the difference . . !!!
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| Jul 4, 2007 @ 8:51 PM |
Single/No Kids Vs Divorced/Kids |
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baldbychoice2kx
Posts: 86
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For me, it doesn't matter. I think it's a situation by situation basis as to whether or not I'd date anyone with or without kids, never married or divorced or widowed.
Myself, I've never been married. That's right, 36 year old male who's never been married. Is that supposed to be a big red flag for women? If so, why is it? Just because I haven't found the right person to make that commitment to does not mean I am either incapable of making that commitment or unwilling to. It just means I haven't wanted to just jump into a marriage and have it all fall apart. I want to make sure that, if I ever do get married, it is the first, last and only time, barring death.
Also, I have a child from a previous relationship and while I do not have custody of him, I do have him whenever I can. No, I wouldn't be looking for a mother for him. He has a mother. I would like that whomever I date would get along with my son and be able to accept that I do have a child, but not to be the mother figure in his life. That would not be her place.
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