| Jul 5, 2007 @ 7:30 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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outblog
Posts: 3
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Hi, guys
This is my first post here. just registered minutes ago to post. I've been reading some posts here but still a newbie for sure. Here's my situation:
I was an adjunct instructor in a university this past semester teaching a grad class. Half way into the it i developed strong feelings for a girl in class. I didn't show or do anything during the semester so there wasn't much interaction with her other than class discussions or office hours, which are typical student-instructor type.
After turned in the grade (also my appointment was over), i sent her a (light-hearted) greeting email. She replied in about 5 days with a short email telling me her summer plans. I replied right away with a longer email and this time she replied after 2 weeks (she was traveling to other state and then to Europe then). I wrote back again after one week(my 3rd email), but this time she didn't reply.
I got uneasy waiting her 3rd reply, but it never come. So after about half month i sent her my 4th email asking for coffee together and her number.
It's been a week so far no response from her yet.
So I have 2 questions (actually 3) hope to hear your opinion:
Question 1: Is there still hope - should I continue contacting her, if so what's the best way to go?
Question 2: Did I do something wrong with my approach so far?
This girl is the best crush I have in years so i would really appreciate it if your guys could help me on this!
Also i am attaching some of the email correspondence here. Sorry for the long read.
Email #1 (my initial greeting email, J is her, outblog is me):
Hello J,
How are you? Hope this email find you enjoy your break. This is a greeting from you previous instructor (not any more :-). Are you a little bit surprised to receive my email? Actually I wanted to write to you much earlier. You know, it’s always pleasant to see you and talk to you, although we never really chatted outside the class. Now that the semester is over, I just want to send you an email and say hello to you.
Anyhow, the summer is here. You must have exciting plans for it. Hope you enjoy every moment of it. And when you have time, don’t forget to shoot me an email and let me know how you are doing.
All the best
- outblog
Email #2 (her reply, i deleted some names):
Hello,
I certainly am glad the summer is here. It was a long semester and I am glad it is over. What do you plan on doing this summer?
This weekend I am going to **** to rock climb. I am very excited. I think it will be fun. Then I will be home for a few days and I am going to **** for our studio. We are going to ****. I am also looking forward to that trip, although it will be more academic than this weekend!
Other than those things I will be climbing a lot and bike racing becasue those are my two favorite things to do.
-J
Email #3 (my 2nd email, a little bit long, omitted here)
Email #4 (her reply to my 2nd email):
I am sure you will have a fine summer. often i find things to do right around **** and it proves to be some wonderful times.
i had an excellent time in ****. the climbing was super cool. i did so much. we even stayed an extra day because it was so much fun! i jumbed off a sixty foot cliff into the water while i was there. it was so much fun. the rush was amazing. i really can´t wait until next year when i will do it again!
now i am in ****. it is quite fun. i road my bike around yesterday. it was lovely once i was out of the city. we are doing much academic work but on our days off i hope to travel to some other cities like ****. honestly though i just might ride into the miuntains because i lvoe the countryside so much.
well i will talk to you later,
-J
Email #5 (my 3rd email with no reply, omitted here)
Email #6 (my last email asking coffee together and number, no reply so far):
J,
It’s been a while since I heard you from ****. How are you? I am not sure if you are back in **** now. As always I hope you are enjoying you days wherever you stay.
I think we should have coffee together when you are back! If this is a good idea, then I need you phone number, what is it? I will call you up later. My cell phone number is (xxx)xxx xxxx.
talk to you soon
outblog
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| Jul 5, 2007 @ 7:33 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached) |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,408
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The whole teacher student affair thing has been done.
Please do a search? 
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| Jul 5, 2007 @ 7:34 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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tulip717
Posts: 1,665
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| Jul 5, 2007 @ 10:27 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached) |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,059
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Question 1: Is there still hope - should I continue contacting her, if so what's the best way to go?
No....her silence is telling you all.
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| Jul 5, 2007 @ 10:39 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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| Jul 5, 2007 @ 10:43 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached) |
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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LOL Never!
I agree with Mom. Probably time to move on.
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| Jul 6, 2007 @ 1:34 AM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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Solitaire
Posts: 1,359
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The whole thing sounds a little fishy to me overall, butveven if legit, it's a no go. She has said over and over how much fun she's had doing this and that. She has never once asked if you like to do any of it. or have gone to any of the places she went to on her trip. She was informative without being inviting.
Sorry, but i'm betting she's hoping you will just let it go.
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| Jul 6, 2007 @ 6:46 AM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached) |
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trailviews
Posts: 66
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If she was interested, she'd reply. She hasn't replied, so she's not interested. The one e-mail you sent beyond the one she already didn't reply to was more than enough to know. Move on.
Also, I wouldn't post other people's private e-mails verbatim in a public forum. It is not polite to do so.
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| Jul 6, 2007 @ 12:42 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 17,992
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Leave her the heck alone....and get a life..... 
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| Jul 6, 2007 @ 1:07 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached) |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,946
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she still considers you an instructor.. my niece tried being nice ( but firm) to her instructor after he approached her and all it got her was stalking and filthy emails.. and alot of scary nights
she's not interested in you. period
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| Jul 6, 2007 @ 10:36 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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Question 1: Is there still hope - should I continue contacting her, if so what's the best way to go?
No. No. Far away.
Question 2: Did I do something wrong with my approach so far?
Yes. You sent email #4.
She's not interested. Move on.
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| Jul 7, 2007 @ 1:25 AM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached) |
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outblog
Posts: 3
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ok, thanks for the replies. i guess i got what most of you guys opinion on this. looks like i screwed it up
trailviews:
i didn't aware of the no-email-posting rule, if that's indeed impolite then i will be keeping in mind that in the future
daisy315:
i was a grad student while teaching her class and still a grad student now, she know that.
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| Jul 9, 2007 @ 10:13 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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Microchip
Posts: 481
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I was an adjunct instructor in a university this past semester teaching a grad class.
Not English, I hope!
YOU are teaching GRAD students? Don't take this the wrong way, but the issue aside, your writing is appalling. I am thinking that if those are really your credentials, you should be setting a far better example.
- You failed to capitalize the proper noun "I" in several places.
- What does "After turned in the grade" mean?
- she was traveling to other state and then to Europe then
- I got uneasy waiting her 3rd reply, but it never come.
- i would really appreciate it if your guys could help me on this!
"Our" guys? Who exactly are "our" guys?
- Hope this email find you enjoy your break
I would suggest going back the the books yourself and learning the language, and forget about chasing your students around for awhile.
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| Jul 9, 2007 @ 11:06 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached) |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,946
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you were still her teacher..
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| Jul 10, 2007 @ 12:42 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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academicgirl
Posts: 161
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Microchip - You are indeed the "grammar" police. 
I noticed his writing too...it was pretty bad for an alleged adjunct instructor though even at the University I work at, emails can be pretty informal--people "loosen their ties" so to speak to communicate on line. My boss is a professor of surgery (and he is older and of another generation not accustomed to computers let alone email) and he can sew two tendons together (like sewing cooked spaghetti), but he "two fingers" the keyboard so doesn't capitalize, doesn't correct, etc. You should try to read his emails sometime! LOL
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| Jul 10, 2007 @ 2:01 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached) |
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Microchip
Posts: 481
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You are indeed the "grammar" police.
I am really not trying to do that. It's just that I get a little disappointed by the way people butcher up the language, and maybe even a little offended. I worked hard in school to learn the language. It kind of reminds me of the way the Nigerian scammers write. I don't know if people can understand that.
people "loosen their ties I can understand that. I did that once, and it came back to bite me. It is a lesson I will never forget.
I once I sent off an informal e-mail to a co-worker. He thought it was a GREAT idea, and forwarded it to another department, where it eventually made it up to a VP. The VP contacted MY boss, and asked if I had taken an aptitude test before I was hired. My boss assured him that I was just a little lazy when I sent that e-mail, and I was given a friendly warning not to do that anymore. My boss informed me that ALL comunications leave impressions. He did not want anyone, especially HIS boss, to have a bad impression of me.
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| Jul 10, 2007 @ 10:03 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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outblog
Posts: 3
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English is not my native language.. if you guys are wondering. yes i am still learning it.
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| Jul 10, 2007 @ 11:16 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached) |
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Microchip
Posts: 481
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Well you are doing a good job with it, based on your last post. Keep up the good work.
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| Jul 11, 2007 @ 3:20 PM |
Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)
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knowall
Posts: 6
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Get real and unless you do something different nothing will happen. Either forget it or do something crazy???? If i have to tell you what you are doomed.
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