| Jul 13, 2007 @ 5:20 AM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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Always_Striving
Posts: 8,794
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This is the truth, no matter what you guys and gals think...... you are in self denial if you say or think otherwise.
All of the special courtship activities, fun, "Attention Giving", cute little comments and gifts, sacrifice for the other person will all just dry up and go away once you get used to the same ole' - same ole'.
What about those people that hold out until marriage? The ones that say: No kissing in public or no sex until marriage, later they find out that things remain the same as they were before they committed or even worse ..... they don't even know how to express affection for each other or they both think that it's awkward.
They are a hopeless lost cause. Someone please put that couple out of their misery.
So, let's think about this for a second. Knowing that the person you are currently seeing is putting on their best appearance that they will ever, ever have. Are you willing to judge and dump them before things start getting worse? Can you see the tell tale signs emerging? Are you getting worried and want to bail out?
Or are you a glutton for punishment, naive, a sucker, a loser with nothing better to do in life except getting treated like dog sh!t?
Or do you have that fantasy?
You know the fantasy that says: "I can change him or her for the better"
or the one that says: Time makes a relationship fruitful, it gets better with age?
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 5:46 AM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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My_Take_On_It
Posts: 148
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Hmmm.......Is a bit to think about....!!!!!!!!!
I for one, totally agree with you and life is not the fantasy of growing old together.
But...."Yes BUT" I am one for the cards....As I am not a person who believes in monogamous relationships yet I live one. Seems to me with the rate of marriages and divorces, and the rate of exchanging relationships that society is willing bare with a grain a salt, Then we al may as well evolve to the next level and revert back to the 70's hippy free love spirit "Revised". Revised as in, We like to think we want a stable relationship yet we get bored and need interaction with others on an intimate level.
Question:- Do we need to review what a relationship means? And are we now finding that we want our cake and eat it too?
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 6:52 AM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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Sheyenne
Posts: 101
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Hey OP
I can understand your disheartened comments as they are most certainly common. I took a peek boo at your bio and might add these comments.
I would think at our age we move past the selfishness and persona's of ego, trying to impress, not being ourselves, silly dreams, Peter Pan and Cinderella and the silly games.
What do I mean? I would think in our 40's having experinced this kind of shallow, surfacey relationships that we would emerge investing in a relationship because we want to not because its expected, for show or ordained hence demanded.
There is nothing better then being a good friend...a good Mom/Dad, neighbour, son daughter etc...what about giving to our significant other? Should we not give freely and unconditionally and feel really good about it with our doubt or question? Do so because we want to through desire and Love for the other person?
Is is our desicion to boot a user just as much as it would be to boot an ingrate, a gamer, selfishness etc?
All I'm really trying to say is that at this age its easy to give and do so without expectations...its also easier to call a spade a spade. No one should accept being played be it 20 or 40. A false persona isn't going to make it in the long run...we now know this at 40 where perhaps at 20 we thought we could change the person.
I suppose aim high while giving of yourself completely. unconditionally, while settling for nothing less.No more rationalizations... Heck OP...I'd rather live alone then to live a lie. If I give its because I want to not for a recipication....but even this has limitations.
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 8:28 AM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 9:53 AM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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artcat7
Posts: 576
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This is the truth, no matter what you guys and gals think...... you are in self denial if you say or think otherwise.
All of the special courtship activities, fun, "Attention Giving", cute little comments and gifts, sacrifice for the other person will all just dry up and go away once you get used to the same ole' - same ole'.
Wow, I guess I was in self denial for over 25 years then......oh yeah, still am in that denial I suppose since I do think otherwise even after the relationship is gone.
Once a relationship reaches that same ole same ole point is when true intimacy really begins. It's when you're really comfortable with one another. And who says those fun, attention giving, cute little comments, gifts and sacrifice for the other person have to dry up and go away? If you're really working that relationship then they won't, you and your partner will make sure of that.
So, let's think about this for a second. Knowing that the person you are currently seeing is putting on their best appearance that they will ever, ever have. Are you willing to judge and dump them before things start getting worse? Can you see the tell tale signs emerging? Are you getting worried and want to bail out?
This is the kind of thinking that causes people to jump from relationship to relationship. Come on really, judge and dump them because this is the best you'll ever see and everything else is downhill from here? Is that how you want to be appraised? Is the beginning of a relationship the only kind of relationship worth having?
I'd rather be in a long term relationship with my best friend than jump from relationship to relationship having that "honeymoon" phase.
[Edited on 7/13/2007 10:47 AM]
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 10:07 AM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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Always, honey...this smarts of bitterness. 
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 11:45 AM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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KAOS2007
Posts: 8,201
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Hmm ..... my parents were in denial for 59 years and my grandparents for 67....
If you buy into "that's the way it is", then, that's the way it will be.
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 11:51 AM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,097
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Once a relationship reaches that same ole same ole point is when true intimacy really begins. It's when you're really comfortable with one another. And who says those fun, attention giving, cute little comments, gifts and sacrifice for the other person have to dry up and go away? If you're really working that relationship then they won't, you and your partner will make sure of that.
Exactly my thoughts too, Art
That's why it takes both to make sure the relationship keeps its adventure, intimacy and spontaneity.
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 12:18 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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TRS1958
Posts: 481
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Very sad point of view for anyone to have. Relationships only get old and stale if you allow it to happen...or worse, expect it to.
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 12:22 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Very nice, TRS.
everyone will have good times and bad.
it's life.
To think too hard on how you love someone, may mean you don't that much.
I like doing things for people, but wouldn't start out doing it, then stop. That was a part of my divorce...he said he had to try to get me, and when he did, he didn't have to anymore.
Relationships always take caring and attention.
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 12:29 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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DiamondRain
Posts: 6,354
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The topic from another angle...
Relationships change over time, but not necessarily for the worse. Some blossom and then die, others can morph into something better yet as time goes on.
Orange juice is at its best when it is fresh, but wine gains character with age.
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 12:40 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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artcat7
Posts: 576
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Orange juice is at its best when it is fresh, but wine gains character with age.
Nice analogy DiamondRain.
Have you ever seen those older couples who look at one another and seem to know what the other is thinking? The ones that finish each other's sentences? They definitely can't achieve that without that same ole, same ole knowledge!
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 12:41 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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NatGoat
Posts: 4,213
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A Good Relationship takes Effort . . to make it Better . . !!
Make the effort . . Get the Rewards . . !!!
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 1:00 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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vinny_53
Posts: 457
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A Good Relationship takes Effort
 if it is a good relationship there should be no effort involved....
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 1:07 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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NatGoat
Posts: 4,213
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...that explains the Divorce rate, then . . right . . ???
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 1:22 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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vinny_53
Posts: 457
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yes..Nat..you are right..it does take an effort to stay married to someone you don't want to be married to...
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 1:35 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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NatGoat
Posts: 4,213
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I know . .
Luckily . . I fell-in-love before it was TOO late . . !!!
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 2:28 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,692
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That's why it takes both to make sure the relationship keeps its adventure, intimacy and spontaneity.
snappy sis as usual u are right on target. i may not be in a relationship right now but when you are dating and even after you get married you still have to "date" keep it fresh.. dont take each other for granted.. ever.. i do know that some where out there is My cowboy or that proverbial "knight" albeit in dented armor..  i believe in love and a happy ever after... Sweet N Louisiana 
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 2:41 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 8,070
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Hmm ..... my parents were in denial for 59 years and my grandparents for 67....
If you buy into "that's the way it is", then, that's the way it will be.
Well, at least I know who to marry....hmmm 60 yrs from now we'll be....OMG...living in Bora Bora...
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| Jul 13, 2007 @ 3:33 PM |
The Begining of Dating or a Serious Relationship is the Best It Will Ever Be |
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Alternaut
Posts: 133
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How did you ever get an s/n like Always_Striving?
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