| Jul 22, 2007 @ 9:52 AM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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honesty in order to have not any misunderstanding
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| Jul 22, 2007 @ 10:34 AM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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Angel178
Posts: 22,954
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Honesty, but to a point. Depends on the situation....if i ask how i look today, of coarse i want to hear that i look nice, even if i know it is a kind fib to spare my feelings....if the truth is going to hurt and it is trivial, why tell it
Maybe im just tired!!! I'll answer again after my coffee!!!
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| Jul 22, 2007 @ 10:38 AM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,791
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Hi Mike..honesty.. 
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| Jul 22, 2007 @ 12:43 PM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,028
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I have had the liar, and no thanks. You only end up finding out in the end and then not only do you have to deal with the lies and heart attachments based on lies, but you have to deal with how you were betrayed, disrespected, and how your life dreams were only a fantasy. So give me the truth anyday.
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| Jul 22, 2007 @ 12:44 PM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
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I second that, Dukum 
Honesty IS the best policy, always, good or bad, even when it hurts.
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| Jul 22, 2007 @ 12:49 PM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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vinny_53
Posts: 457
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Honesty, but to a point. .......
if the truth is going to hurt and it is trivial, why tell it
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| Jul 22, 2007 @ 12:52 PM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Baby, I just want you to tell me you bought everything on sale and saved me a lot of money... If you bought it one day and it went on sale the next - I really don't want to know.
Yes, of course issues that affect the relationship should be dealt with honestly... there's no reason to lie about the important stuff. 
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| Jul 22, 2007 @ 5:36 PM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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jdctx
Posts: 162
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GENTS - you best be strong to be honest becasuse you WILL face delemas where needed honesty will put you in the dog house. But she will respect you more and be assured that if you have the coarage to weather the storm the right things will happen. maybe you wil find shes not for you or maybe you will grew stronger
LADIES- take note of the above. I know that honesty is more of a means of helping you decide but if the gent is honest recongnize what he haas put at stake
the worst policy i know of is
what they wont know wont hurt them oh it will hurt them far more then any honest answer will
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| Jul 22, 2007 @ 7:29 PM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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It depends on the situation. I agree with Angel, I don't usually want brutal honesty. A little evasion or a more tactful answer is sometimes all that's called for. If I really do want the truth, the whole truth, etc, I'll make it clear that's what I want to hear.
Obviously I don't want to be lied to about actual facts but opinions and feelings can change from day to day and no one needs to hear the cold hard "truth" when it's really just a bad mood or a bad day. Some people use the "just being honest" excuse when they really just want to hurt someone and usually succeed. Not everything needs to be said.
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| Jul 22, 2007 @ 7:32 PM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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katydid438
Posts: 6,783
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Great comment Dukums,,and oh so true
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 7:26 AM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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honesty!!! i don't mind being taken for granted. i pondered the "if the truth is trivial and it will hurt" point a moment. so this would be one of those "little things bother little people" points? perhasps this is another one of those bits of wisdom that will help in choosing a long term relationship? female logic continues to baffle me. is this one of the questions on the eharmony preprofile? oh well, and we be jammin 
[Edited on 7/23/2007 7:33 AM]
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 10:29 AM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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Microchip
Posts: 477
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Unfortunately, there is a lot of gray area here.
There is a big difference between honesty, as in trust, and BRUTAL HONESTY, as in not knowing when to keep your mouth shut. Some people I have met are SO PROUD of being brutally honest. To me, that is a detriment, and not an attribute.
If you are in a relationship, you are expected not to entertain offers from other people. That is being honest. If you are walking hand-in-hand with your S.O, and you see someone of the opposite sex who makes you WET, and your S.O. asks you if that person appeals to you, and you answer YES, VERY MUCH... well, yes, you are being brutally honest, but what purpose does it serve? It would have been much better to LIE.
There is a time and a place for honesty. It's called TACT.
As usual, Candylily said it best.
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 12:45 PM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Well I look at this whole thing from a different aspect. In any case throw out all the things people say they want, and take a close look at what they do. It is very easy to talk someone to death, but the realities far out weigh the images that one tried to project about themselves. What I usually see in most is one who paints a picture of themselves as a good person. Meaning, they have to say all the right things, take all of the right stances for which society deems proper. I myself have always paid a price for taking a stance for the things I believe in public or private and being truthful about it. So for me to truthfully address the ideas set forth pertaining to lies / truth I would have to say a mixed bag. If my feelings are involved I would want to know the truth. If a lie would help to make the truth less painful I would say tell me the lies to help me gather the truth a little less painful. It was once said that "Artist use lies to tell the truth, but politicians use them to cover it up". I would surmise that some here are merely artist while others here are truly politicians. With that being said! Coveth thy heart with a lie and leave me a glee, pander me with truth and strengthen my resolve.
"By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe"
( Faust )
Some will understand this and sadly some never will !
Tell me the truth.
(JMO)
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 1:22 PM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 16,199
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Very good post Silver...
I think........
What people say, what people do, and what they say they do are entirely different things............
I try my best to "walk" my "talk" and treat others the same way I'd want to be treated.
Because.......
There is no glory in honesty if it is destructive. And no shame in dishonesty if its goal is to offer grace.....................So stop gloating in "I ALWAYS tell the truth, no matter who likes what I have to say!" and destroying people..........and give a little grace to those who need it.....because you may need it one day too!
JSO........(Just Spring's Opinion) 
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 1:31 PM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
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There is a time and a place for honesty. It's called TACT.
The example provided is a little overboard, IMHO. One could argue why would the SO ask the question if he/she didn’t want an honest response. Do people really ask a question in hopes that the response will be dishonest? Perhaps the “tact” would apply to not asking the question rather than to responding with honesty or dishonesty. Tact is the ability to deal with others in an effort to avoid offense. For example, my response to the question “does that person appeal to you” would have likely been, “why do you ask that?”, or “do you want me to tell the truth, or lie?” or "yes, he/she is attractive." Personally, I don’t ask a question unless I’m seeking an honest response. If I’m fairly certain I will receive a response that will be hurtful if responded to honestly, wouldn’t it be more tactful to not put the person in the position of lying to spare my feelings, or being honest and causing hurt feelings? 
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 1:36 PM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,028
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I think there is too much splitting hairs here. We all know that at times it is better to skirt the issue rather than just be blunt with someone and hurt their feelings. But do I want someone to be dishonest about how they feel, what they like/dislike ect.? NEVER!
Those that are not forthcoming when it is issues that matter are not sparing the persons feelings, they are sparing their own discomfort at having to do a hard thing and in my opinion, that is Chickenshit! 
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 1:39 PM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 2:41 PM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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I cannot tell a lie... 
Really, if there are issues of jealousy they are related to issues of trust... and if you don't trust the person you're with, it doesn't matter if they are being honest with you. Each individual has to self-evaluate when it comes to trust - if you don't trust the person you are with unconditionally (like to share a bed with anyone here  ) then shove the honesty - it's meaningless. If you trust the person, there's never any question of whether they are telling you the truth or what you want to hear... you trust them to decide those things for you.
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 4:08 PM |
Honesty or Lies ?
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dooney123
Posts: 3,446
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I always want the truth from my SO. While there are a few very limited instances where I think it's harmless to lie, I can't think of any that would be with someone I'm romantically interested in. What comes to mind is one guy telling me he's so brutally honest that he told a lady at a restaurant that her baby was ugly. I can't think of any reason to do that.
It is helpful to say the truth in a tactful manner, of course.
I can't believe that some people would lie and say they do not find someone attractive that they do find attractive. Your partner must have incredibly low self esteem or your relationship has huge problems if you can't be honest and say, "Yes, I find that person attractive." There's nothing wrong with finding someone attractive; that's just human.
[Edited on 7/23/2007 4:55 PM]
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| Jul 23, 2007 @ 4:20 PM |
Honesty or Lies ? |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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Honesty to a fault is the best policy per any type of relationship.
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