| Jan 27, 2008 @ 7:23 AM |
Friends with Benefits
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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It don't work ...... just have some ice cream !!!!!
Not in my world, either, O.
Make mine vanilla. 
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 7:48 AM |
Friends with Benefits |
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mrobvious444
Posts: 1,875
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vanilla .................................  ............ 
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 11:25 AM |
Friends with Benefits
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LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,387
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It don't work ...... just have some ice cream !!!!!
Mr. O is oh so very smart....  
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 12:21 PM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 19,319
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It don't work ...... just have some ice cream !!!!!
Did that for 15 years or so, all I have to show for that is 50 pounds I wanna lose. Still never met another man who makes me feel the way the love of my life did, but my sweetie makes me laugh when I want to just throw it all in, and makes me melt when our eyes meet...different strokes for different folks though.
Just a note here though - I went through a gazillion first dates before I met him...even a really good FWB is hard to find, and I don't think it works well unless you're both highly independent. And no relationship can work if your head and heart are somewhere else...but being really good friends is vital - if you really don't give a damn and you're just using each other for pleasure, that's fine, but that's not FWB. Mine have always been there when the going got tough - we might not do Christmas with each others' families (although I do with this one...it seems to be developing into something more than FWB after 10 or 11 months, but it will never be the tighter bond of marriage or even cohabitation). The thing is, you really ARE friends.
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| Jan 28, 2008 @ 12:59 PM |
Friends with Benefits
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MusicMonster
Posts: 2,954
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I think a lot depends on the circumstances.
In a certain few cases, it may not be such a bad thing. I've done it in the past with no regrets. But one cannot allow it to become emotionally complicated as long as the rules are clear. And one cannot be involved with someone else at the same time. That just doesn't work. And Jerry Springer is not Real Life. 
There is always the possibility too that it may become more than ever expected at the outset. An unexpected bonus.
But if all else fails, there's always Rocky Road Ice Cream!
-MM 
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| Jan 29, 2008 @ 9:31 AM |
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beatricebo
Posts: 36
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i'm not hip enough to participate in the friends with benefits lifestyle. to me what makes us different from the animals is that humans need an emotional bond to have sex. also, i've never had hormones so out of control that i'd participate in this type of relationship. I would have to be in love with someone to get so personal and share my body. the whole thought of using someone solely for a sexual release is sick to me.
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| Jan 29, 2008 @ 9:52 AM |
Friends with Benefits
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 19,319
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 but I think relevant question to those who need to be in love to have a sexual relationship...how many times have you been in love?
For me, it was once. I've loved every one of the relatively small number of FWB's I've had over the past 35 or 40 years, but comparing that to being in love is like comparing a very well prepared comfort food meal to a five star multi-course meal prepared by a top chef. Being in love was a life-altering, totally shattering experience. Since then, I've compared every relationship to that one - they were definitely warm, loving, supportive and yes, sexually very satisfying, but I knew it wasn't the real thing. Since the real thing only occured once in my 64 years, I don't want to sit around eating ice cream when I can have a loving relationship with someone who I care about and who cares about me, even it it's not the same fireworks and time-stopping experience the real thing was.
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| Jan 30, 2008 @ 9:50 AM |
Friends with Benefits |
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beatricebo
Posts: 36
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heaven:
i don't think being in love has to do with fireworks (its a fantasy that media feeds you in movies). however, i also don't think all our relationships that are loving and meaningful have to do with sex. i don't need sex that bad that i'd get into a relationship with anyone just to have a warm body around. kind of cheapens what sex really is, a great bond between 2 people who really genuinely love each other and want to commit in a serious way.
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| Jan 30, 2008 @ 12:01 PM |
Friends with Benefits
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warrior674
Posts: 6,723
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Friends with Benefits
Sounds to me like that's a group of people who can keep you out of jail.
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| Jan 30, 2008 @ 12:15 PM |
Friends with Benefits |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,755
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Heaven-
It isn't that some of us haven't done the "I know this is going nowhere but this" relationship.
I can only speak for myself that it makes me feel whole to have love of a man. And if I am working on that, I won't cheapen JUST MY wants by messing around.
I want it all now.
But everyone's different. 
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| Feb 9, 2008 @ 8:03 PM |
Friends with Benefits
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IDJIT
Posts: 354
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Even an IDJIT wants it all......................... 
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| Feb 23, 2008 @ 7:52 PM |
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SweetKalena
Posts: 449
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two words...UUUUM NO!
I do not have sex minus a relationship. no exceptions.
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| Feb 24, 2008 @ 12:19 AM |
Friends with Benefits
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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replying to the very first post on this thread - FWB does not necessarily have to equate with expecations.
i don't think there is much relevance in looking to define "FWB" or "Fbuddy" or "dating" because those terms are subjective and will mean different things to different people. the key is if you're looking to get together with someone on any level - it's important to have some type of understanding before engaging in physical behavior - to avoid either party getting hurt.
it's like other people have said, sometime you have someone whose company you may enjoy and who at the same time, you may find sexually stimulating. it doesn't have to mean sex has to happen every time or is expected - it can be simply that you both enjoy hanging out and at the same time, are open to sharing that level of itimacy when the mutual desire is present.
beatricebo said:
kind of cheapens what sex really is
the above statement can only ever be subjective ...
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| Feb 24, 2008 @ 12:26 AM |
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signme
Posts: 13,003
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I still say it is an individual decision. If it makes you happy, go for it. If it doesn't make you happy, don't do it.
I'm done now.
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| Feb 24, 2008 @ 12:29 PM |
Friends with Benefits
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lisa46
Posts: 2,571
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yeah I agree with sign to each their own If your ashamed then don't admit it 
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| Feb 24, 2008 @ 8:52 PM |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,086
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that is what relationships are becoming. just about every woman says they want to be friends. but for me that will be almost impossible. i have yet to meet a woman who meets the basic requirement for being a friend. for me there is only one requirement. ask my teacher. there is only one requirement for being saved, etc etc, on and on. almost always there is only one requirement. unless it is a commandment of men, then there lots of ammendments, riders and bills! LOL oh well, let the game continue. we be jammin 
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| Feb 25, 2008 @ 7:10 AM |
Friends with Benefits
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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This one is easy!
Do you like to F__k ?
If the answer is yes, whats the problem?
If the answer is no, choose your dates a little more wisely.
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| Feb 25, 2008 @ 7:21 AM |
Friends with Benefits |
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katydid438
Posts: 8,275
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FWB is not for me. If that is all a person wants then they should be up front. Then again that kind of honesty will not get them the BJ etc that they want,,,at that particular moment!   
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| Feb 25, 2008 @ 7:27 AM |
Friends with Benefits
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Thats it katy
Learn to ask the right questions.
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| Feb 25, 2008 @ 10:28 AM |
Friends with Benefits |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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some folks live for a life with out prices... but there is always a price... if you think the benefits have no cost, what about your own sense of value for those things? Do we still value things when there is no cost? no by playing around and acting as if it has no value, we lose our own sense of self, and value of ourselves as individuals....
Well said Grumble..its true..being in that kind of situation myself..unknowingly since he didn`t say so until 6 months or so into the relationship..he lied in the beginning...it does take something away from you.
My sense of self-worth went down the drain. Along with my self-respect and trust for others.
So sometimes you do lose in the end...
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