| Dec 14, 2005 @ 2:00 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
hubbabubba888
Posts: 21
|
Good grief. Can you please tell me.....
Because to me saying to someone I just need some time means go the heck away.....its pretty much over - if you can not talk and work things through then why bother...esp over stupid petty things
IF After 16 months one incident makes you say hey, I need time - to think - to come to grips....blah, blah, blah - then hey more power to ya. You can have your time and I can have mine. That means I am free to date and and hang out with my buddies...right?
So, then why when I do those things does he call asking what the heck am I doing???? Why am I not calling??? Why am I not coming over like I normally would??? HELLO did you NOT just tell me you needed your space???
SO tell me what is time to you??? If you are asking or on the recieving end....
[Edited on 12/14/2005 2:02 PM]
|
|
  |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 2:35 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
waiting41
Posts: 1,926
|
 I honestly believe and know from my own experience that it means what it says and not all situatioins are alike. It does NOT always mean it's over and someone just can't say it. I do believe using the phrase "I need time" should also be followed with a very detailed explanation of why one needs time and what they are referring to as it can mean many different things. It is unfair that you should have to be asking that question here and sounds like a communication problem to me. 
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 2:38 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
waiting41
Posts: 1,926
|
Did I just say it means what is says and can mean many different things? Yeah, I thought so. Well, in any event, you get the gist of it........  On the other hand, I recently told someone I needed time, and now the whole thing is, um......well, um............well, let's just say we both have a whole lot of time these days........... 
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 2:47 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
|
I echo waiting....at least the part that made sense. 
This is a question you should be asking "your" partner, not us.
But my two cents. Usually, any phrase with the word "..need..." in it when it comes to talking about the status of relationships is a bad thing.
"I need time to figure things out..."
"I'm not ready to do this, I need to be more comfortable..."
"We don't need to talk about this right now, do we?..."
"I need my space..."
"I need another opinion..."
You get the idea. 
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 3:01 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
waiting41
Posts: 1,926
|
Well, Mo, you are about 50% right here
It could also be:
I need you in my life............
I need your love............ 
I need you to relocate across the country......... 
I need you to buy me some cigarettes........
I need you to need me........
I need some dinner baby........ 
I need you to wrap your legs....well, you get the idea 
[Edited on 12/14/2005 3:02 PM]
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 3:28 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
|
Yep, I stand corrected, waiting....lol 
By the way, what was that last one again, "I need to wrap your legs..."? 
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 3:43 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
hubbabubba888
Posts: 21
|
yeah well I do talk to him and everytime I think we are clear on where we stand - the phone rings and he is angry that he thinks I have given up and walked away. What I have done is decided to live my life....no games
To me, telling someone you have been with you need time or the SPACE word is not usually a good thing.
I just thought I would see what everyone else thought or if I am just a hardass...lol like he made me feel.
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 3:43 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
danae74
Posts: 601
|
I'd like to agree with waiting, but unfortunately, when I've used the phrase in the past, it's always meant "You're driving me up the friggin' wall and if you don't go away I might actually kill you." Sometimes, though, I feel better later...does that help?
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 4:24 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
EyesofBlue72660
Posts: 12,810
|
Hubba.....is he saying he needs time and you're hearing he needs space? It almost sounds like he is wanting some time to get used to having been in a relationship for 16 months and he needs to figure out if he wants to go to the next level (though, I wouldn't give him another 16 months to make a decision!!!).
If he's saying he needs space, then yes, to me, it sounds like it's pretty much fruitless to expect the relationship to develop any further than where it is right now.
I agree with the suggestions that you talk with him to get things ironed out. Good luck to you!!!!
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 4:24 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
johnw_6
Posts: 194
|
To me it means it's over.
Sorry but being together means taking the good with the bad or inconvenient.
For me it's very simple-------> you either are with someone or your not?
Sorry but sitting on the fence of maybe/ maybe not, is really nowhere.
What I want to know is, time for what? you shouldn't need time away from someone you love so that leaves being with a maybe.
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 5:27 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
hubbabubba888
Posts: 21
|
What I want to know is, time for what? you shouldn't need time away from someone you love so that leaves being with a maybe
He needs space because I walked outside when he was disciplining the kids. I didn't agree with his view on the situtation so therefore he has to think about if we are meant to be together.....ridicuous to me
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 5:37 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
AladinSane297
Posts: 102
|
pretty simple... when they say "I need time"... they never finish the whole sentance... the rest of it is... I need time away from you so I can sleep around with everyone and their neighbor....
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 5:39 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
AladinSane297
Posts: 102
|
sorry... I guess I missed a bunch.... I typed before I read more than just a little bit of the posting.... that was just my experience with the whole "needing time" thing
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 5:41 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
hubbabubba888
Posts: 21
|
lol see that's ok - he spent the 1st part of the time we were together lookin for the ego booster of other women.
He is a great guy just not my RIGHT guy.....
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 6:32 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
sexy1970
Posts: 8
|
Hmmm.....I need time. It could mean lots of different things hun, BUT.......usually it means I have my head shoved up my ass and I don't know what I want so I think I'll go hump everything with t**s and a p***y, and maybe I'll get back to you.
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 6:48 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
walkingman
Posts: 639
|
I think it mean's that whatever you had was over. Either you want to see someone or you don't. If you need to to think then you don't want to be with that person. . Just move on and see other people.
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 6:58 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
sexy1970
Posts: 8
|
Agreed Jeff, I was just making an attempt at humor, I didn't mean to offend anyone and I apologize if I did.
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 14, 2005 @ 11:30 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
Angel54214
Posts: 14,066
|
Hi Hubba..  After reading your initial post, what my point of view is on him saying " I need time" to me that would tell me he calls full control of what could be a very wonderful relationship. He controlled you! He put you in limbo and that is so wrong. If he was a real man and cared about you, he would talk to you like an adult. This tells me he is too casual, controlling and not serious to invest his "needed time" in a relationship. You said he's a nice guy! Maybe your right, but really look, really observe what he is doing. Did he ask your advise or opinion about how he felt and what you could do together about it? You are a woman, and he should not treat you like a dog on a leash. Thats Angel's point of view...I wish you the best on your situation.
|
| |
|
| Dec 15, 2005 @ 8:03 AM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you.....
|
|
LatinButterfly
Posts: 687
|
Anyone that has read "Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus" knows that 99.9% of men do "need" time to be alone in order to process complex emotional stuff. If a relationship is getting "heavy-duty" many men hit a "time-out" point. That is called by John Gray "going to the cave" and weird as it may sound to some, in my own experience with "miscellaneous" men it's totally true.
John Gray also mentions that men are like "rubber bands". When they get too close they need to pull away and after they've pulled away, if given the... "space" they usually snap back, possibly feeling much closer than before. In his book "Mars and Venus On A Date" he describes the different stages of a relationship and there is one called "uncertainty", which is really the 2nd stage but sometimes either person can revert back to it after reaching a more advanced stage. Sometimes even after finding a soul mate people will have the most doubts, so peeps... take note!
So you going and dating other people freaks him out because he actually meant what he said, more often than not men REALLY need the time...
[Edited on 12/15/2005 8:05 AM]
|
|
| |
|
| Dec 16, 2005 @ 9:21 PM |
Can Someone PLEASE tell me what the Phrase I need TIME is to you..... |
|
Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
|
If he wants time, give it to him.
Don't call him.
Don't date him.
Don't email him.
Sounds as though you keep allowing him to work you. Tell him not to call you, until he knows exactly what he wants. He doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you.
He's leaving you dangling, in case the grass isn't as green on the other side as he thought.
Is he really worth the grief?
OR
Did it cross your mind, maybe your children needed to be disciplined? You didn't get real specific about the details of WHY he stepped in and scolded them.
If it had been just a few months of dating, I would say he had overstepped his boundaries, but you have been dating for almost a year and a half. Just think what would happen if you married him. Would you still assume the responsibility of being the soul disciplinarian?
Just some food for thought.
|
| |
|
|