| Sep 30, 2007 @ 12:43 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 16,199
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Thanks Heaven....I value your opinion..... 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 12:46 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,346
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I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 12:49 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Spring - I'm torn by the same issue... No doubt both parties have a lot of investment in the relationship (hours a day perhaps) and there is certainly something there that transcends the physical presence of the other person but people need physical attention too. Does one person have the right to ask that the other remain faithful? I think yes - because of the time invested (assuming it's considerable). Do they have the right to end the relationship? I guess they do - over anything they choose to. I don't think I would, but everyone is different.
Appended to say "go out" as in date or have fun? No. I was talking about dating and possibly having sex with other people.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 12:53 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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carpediem48
Posts: 3,138
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Hmmmm...re the OP...I'm thinkin that.....
If I was really attracted to the person on line...and
if this attraction had developed over time....then...
.I wouldn't be capable of being 'attracted' to someone else right off the bat that I met in the 'real life' situation.
Unless of course it was a physical attraction.
For me the sexiest part of a man's anatomy is 'between the ears'(usually)
istsignofspring  ....I just scrolled back and read your post.
Hmmmmm....we could say he gets points for honestly communicating his feelings and expectations.
If it was happenning to me....I probably wouldn't be very objective.....but...
from where I sit it makes me uncomfortable....
[Edited on 9/30/2007 12:58 AM]
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 1:05 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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signme
Posts: 9,590
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When I said I voted for the here and now of real life, I was responding to the OP's statement that they hadn't met and no meeting had been planned. I've tried the long distance thing. I had no problem with it, but the guy did. He was going to retire soon and relocate to where I was, but he didn't like the fact that we couldn't be together right then. So he ended it.
And I think if someone has had a bad relationship, an online one can seem to be much safer. If you don't meet, there will rarely be any confrontations or blow-ups.
If you are planning to meet and both want exclusivity, that's fine. But if there's no meeting being planned, I wouldn't go along with that. JMO
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 1:17 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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sweet5red
Posts: 8,136
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. But if there's no meeting being planned, I wouldn't go along with that. JMO mine too spring sis.. red flag to me.. cause u dont know what hes doing and yall didnt meet yet..... sweet N Louisiana
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 2:23 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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katydid438
Posts: 6,783
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Spring..I would never commit to someone on-line that I have never met. He has no right to ask that of you or vice versa. You may never meet!
A relationship is built on emotional and PHYSICAL connection. To me a person that demands that from you is a scammer or just lining up a few spares just in case. JMHO
Nothing worse than being the spare that loses out 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 8:32 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 16,199
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Thank you all for your prospective.......I for one really appreciate it....as you know I don't do this normally.... 
Pete....I do agree with what you've said about "time invested".....
If hours are spent on the phone, email, etc., then being faithful comes just as natural as if you were seeing each other in person. I also agree with some of you saying there are red flags to consider.....
But when that committment is made, shouldn't you desire to talk to that person even the more...via phone, and emails? If that is all you have until you do meet, I would think the closer you become the more you want to be with that person.
At least talking every day or every other day, or some kind of contact with that person would be nice. Lot's of communication is good. Now of course, there are always variations and circumstances to consider, but for the most part, wouldn't this be a normal thing to want? The problem I guess I have is this......when you have been communicating via phone at least every other day, and then you don't hear from that person for 4 or 5 days, and they are not answering emails or phone messages.... that is the frustrating part of an online romance......the not knowing what is going on..... Even if you are extremely busy, you should have a minute to say, I'm busy...don't worry.......we'll talk later.
To ask me to be faithful involves more than just restraining from dating or having sex with others. If you are going to have an online romance, you should be faithful to at least meet one anothers emotional needs within the relationship, as the physical needs for touch, etc. won't happen until you meet in person. Then just because you sit behind a computer or are on the other end of the phone, doesn't mean you have the right to just "click" them off and on whenever you feel like it. Why would you end a relationship that way....with no explanation whatsoever given. Just "poof!" and it's over...they are gone.... 
The hurt is still real just the same.....maybe even more so because you have to put out alot of trust in this type of relationship....
My feelings are ...to get an in person meet as soon as you can....I think it would solidify the relationship a little more. Also know there is a "real" person on the other end of this internet world, and a "live" human being with a heart at the other end of that phone.........please handle with care... 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 8:46 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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katydid438
Posts: 6,783
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1st,,you are absolutely right. Meet the other person ASAP,,,that's a good start...repeat, good start! Going any further with this topic would be getting me into Tiger Country!!!!
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 9:10 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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GibsonGirl93
Posts: 1,162
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I don't want to cause my feelings are elsewhere...(very far away) she thinks I'm crazy cause the guy liked me....but I don't want to.....does that make me crazy for holding out for someone that I haven't met yet?
Like what Angel said here.....the way that I feel about someone (Blu)  keeps me from even thinking about someone else......I would never want to hurt him in any way, or jepardize what we could possibly have together in the future. So for now, if something like that presented itself to me, I'd politely pass and move on. I really don't need to offer any explanation as to why I'm doing so to anyone....JMO
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 9:25 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,609
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So if everybody votes for the here and now, meaning real life, what the hell are we all doin here huh? \\fear. its easier to live your relationship threw a f***ing box ya can turn off then deal with them face to face.
And all this shit about its keeps me focused on one person or that? get a fricking clue!!!! its a choice, and we are choosing wrong!!!!
as you were peeps, i think i had my fill of online...
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 9:36 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 7,647
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I see life through the eyes of a blind man
When I hear her voice I understand her emotions
When we meet I will trust due to her gentleness
Her beauty will be from the tones that I know
I will never know what she physically looks like
But i see love just from knowing her....
What really is beauty, love, and understanding?
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 9:43 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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GibsonGirl93
Posts: 1,162
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I see life through the eyes of a blind man
When I hear her voice I understand her emotions
When we meet I will trust due to her gentleness
Her beauty will be from the tones that I know
I will never know what she physically looks like
But i see love just from knowing her....
That's beautiful....
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 9:45 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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twotall911
Posts: 12,863
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the eyes will tell the talk will tell the truth
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 10:19 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,609
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 10:25 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 10:33 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Angel178
Posts: 22,955
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What kind of school?? Sorry for way off topic but found it odd since in most states that might be illegal especially if bids were taken
I wanted to answer drs question....i know he asked a while ago.....
The woman owns the school (preschool), her husband owns a construction company....work that needs to be done, he just sends his guys over
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 10:44 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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This is one part of my opening I want to stress:
Then, you go to the store, the local coffee shop, bowling alley, bar, etc., and meet someone you are instantly attracted to. You talk, they want to call, meet for dinner.
Sometimes the real life, right there will have a strong affect on you mentally, hormonally, etc. So YOU are attracted. They are attracted in return. It is very heartwarming to see people in long distance relationships make a big adjustment for the other. (Katt and Haban also)
Some of us are here for the entertainment, others to really meet someone, others to just "shop around." I also got in a long distance relationship a while back where we talked 6 hours a day every day. He said he would do WHATEVER it took to be together. He LOVED me! He got to know my kids. Then he vanished. I believe he ran into someone he was attracted to in person. I say More power to him-but he could have been decent and told me.
It only hurt a little bit. Typing and phone calls, IMO, are not the same as being WITH the person. Too much to read in their eyes, their face, their flaws (we all have), their habits, how they really treat others, etc.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 10:44 AM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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So if everybody votes for the here and now, meaning real life, what the hell are we all doin here huh? \\fear. its easier to live your relationship threw a f***ing box ya can turn off then deal with them face to face. And all this shit about its keeps me focused on one person or that? get a fricking clue!!!! its a choice, and we are choosing wrong!!!! as you were peeps, i think i had my fill of online...
interesting OP...
,,my thoughts are... we are here to meet people that have the same interests..to interact with people on multiple levels and there is that hope to meet the "one"
but when a real life person "catches our eye" why should an online romance be looked at any different that a real time one? If the commitment is there.. the answer should be easy..the new person is just passing through...no harm ..no foul ,,and no desire to date anyone else..
but if there is a desire to date,,, then there was no commitment..
btw...
shorty....  speak for yourself here...you might be doing it wrong..but I'm not... 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 11:30 AM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Luisa909
Posts: 1,571
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I think that sometimes it's easier meet someone online than in real life.
Obviously this is not a general condition and all depends on situation and people but in real life we often dare less, there are more obstacles to outrun
Behind a computer, if we are honest, we are able to show ourselves with less fears.
Just my opinion.....
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