| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:10 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Angel178
Posts: 22,955
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I know the emotional level is there..... 
Just waiting for the physical 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:18 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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GibsonGirl93
Posts: 1,162
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Be patient.....I know it's just a matter of time.....
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:20 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Angel178
Posts: 22,955
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I know...I can wait....
The four of us should get together!!!
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:32 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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GibsonGirl93
Posts: 1,162
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DOUBLE DATE!!! haha.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:33 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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BrendaNoklahoma
Posts: 438
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Loreli- Then, you go to the store, the local coffee shop, bowling alley, bar, etc., and meet someone you are instantly attracted to. You talk, they want to call, meet for dinner.
Do you go? Do you remain "true" to the person you have professed to care deeply for who may live across the country, that you have never met? Jankia and I talked for over 8 months before we met. My decision by the way, not his. I had my reasons. I had no problem at all remaining "true" during this time, even though I dont believe he ever asked this of me. When Im interested in someone, in a way I go blind to everyone else so theres no problem. Ive always been this way, although I realise others may be different. Until we met, I blogged, posted to an occasional thread, & joked around with men & women. If someone misunderstood something I said & they perceived real interest on my part, I politely set them straight. It worked out well for us , but only you folks know what is best for you. I cannot tell any of you how to think, feel, or act just as you cannot tell me. Loreli-I believe if the type of situation you described had occurred, and I had wanted to go out with this other hypothetical person, I would have felt obligated to tell Jankia. 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:33 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Angel178
Posts: 22,955
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How fun 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:38 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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Thanks, Brenda.
It hasn't happened to me. Well, from my side-it MIGHT have from the other. As I said, I was curious after something that came up in another thread.
Personally, I stay loyal to someone when I start what appears to be a love relationship. But the key, IMHO, is knowing that it really is.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:39 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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EyesofBlue72660
Posts: 12,810
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I'm one that believes eyes are the window to the soul. I've come to trust my gut instincts over the years. I have to be able to look into someone's eyes and to read their body language before I can allow myself to totally trust them. Once that happens, then I can take it from there.
It is so very, very easy to get caught up in the interactions of IM's, e-mails and phone conversations. I'm not taking away from the fact that one can learn quite a bit about a person through these methods, but I've also found that some people are much more open on the computer/phone than they are in person. For me, this doesn't work.....I need someone that can be as confident in person as they are online.
Everyone is different and every circumstance is unique. I don't know if it is because I'm too much of a realist or what, but I cannot fathom making an exclusive commitment to someone I hardly know, let alone someone I haven't even met. Personally, I feel that is being unfair to both parties involved.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:41 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Angel178
Posts: 22,955
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Baby, taking the kids out to dinner and the beach...talk to you later, ok?
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:42 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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EyesofBlue72660
Posts: 12,810
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OK, Sweetheart.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:43 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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GibsonGirl93
Posts: 1,162
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Bye Angel! 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:44 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Angel178
Posts: 22,955
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Thanks eyes...talk to you later 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:56 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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but I cannot fathom making an exclusive commitment to someone I hardly know, let alone someone I haven't even met.
Now here is the question..........Are you making that commitment to the other person ........or of yourself?
I personally made it to myself, and ( until now ) it was never discussed or implied.
I have never been really good about someone telling me what I can and can't do..
That to me the biggest part of growing up, is knowing you can do whatever you want, and choose to do the right thing any ways.
I think many of you are right, it is silly to create a one sided fantasy. Only looking for disappointment.
Is a two sided fantasy any better? I guess there is only one way to find out. I agree the sooner the meeting the better. but why sh!t can a good thing because life somehow gets in the way.
Just like anything else, life ( online or off ) is what you choose to make it.
And since it involves another person, choose wisely.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 4:57 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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GibsonGirl93
Posts: 1,162
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Just like anything else, life ( online or off ) is what you choose to make it.
And since it involves another person, choose wisely.
 so smart
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:03 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 16,199
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I personally didn't have a problem with being faithful in an online romance....but truthfully, I'm not sure I would want to do it again. When I decide to trust someone, I trust them wholeheartedly.....I give them permission to hold my heart and don't expect them to abuse it or misuse it....
Online or offline...it is still the same principles here.
Online has been frustrating to me because when communications stops....the relationship stops.........and you can't ask why? You can't try to work it out....you have noone to work it out with.........they don't have to answer your emails or answer their phone.....and you are left in a frustrating deliema... 
Sort of like an emotional rape....
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:03 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,282
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You want to know why???? Because NO ONE EVER RELOCATES.
Wrong again! I did. Been 2 years going on 3 soon! 
Spring:
t least talking every day or every other day, or some kind of contact with that person would be nice
Um, at least 3-4 times a day, plus the internet? Even after meeting this was the way Haban and I were. There came a point though, when enough is enough.
Then you make the big decision, who moves? That is a breaker for most people.
Not me! California is where I needed to be.
[Edited on 9/30/2007 5:08 PM]
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:10 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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Katt
i agree with a lot of what Blu said.
People should do it for themselves.
If they are secure enough that it really will work with someone they never met, that they ignore what's right there, and it won't bother them after if the online thing fails-great!
I don't think there is a set time frame but I do agree with Candy, that a "meet" should be soon. Just so life doesn't pass one by.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:14 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,282
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I do want to say though, that I didn't have small children that would have been uprooted from everything and everyone they knew.
Mine were both over 18, and yes, I did ask their permission to go forth with this relationship. Why would I ask them? because I knew it would mean me moving.
Bless them, they told me it was my time to fly. To be who I was suppose to be.
Meaning, I didn't have to be "Mom" all the time.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:18 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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EyesofBlue72660
Posts: 12,810
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Now here is the question..........Are you making that commitment to the other person ........or of yourself? To BOTH of us. There is no question in my mind that I have faults and traits that some people do not appreciate.....why should I expect someone to take whatever I say as gospel? They should have the opportunity to see the real me without their "expectations" or what they have perceived me to be. I try my best to be me at all times in all circumstances, but I also realize that some people cannot separate reality from their perceptions or "wants".
It sort of like a young couple getting married....they have all these fluffy expectations that everything is going to be perfect. Then down the road some, they can't handle the pressure of combining jobs, mortgages, car payments, kids, illnesses and any other curve Life decides to throw. I believe if they would have started out with a less "fairy tale" view of their relationship by ditching the rose-colored glasses, the relationship would have had more of a chance to survive.
Maybe my problem is that I've read post after post after post of people lamenting that an online relationship did them wrong.....and so many times it appears they were the ones expecting so much more just because it started online. I've stated in another thread that an online relationship is just that----a relationship online - nothing more. Now, if a person is happy and satisfied with that, it's not my place to say they are wrong. I just don't want to hear the whining and complaining (and sometimes the bickering  ) if things don't work out.
Just like anything else, life ( online or off ) is what you choose to make it.
And since it involves another person, choose wisely. 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:38 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Palomino
Posts: 7,503
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Loreli said:
I wondered this after posting in another thread:
Say you've been talking online to a person (a few months or so) you have been attracted to online, maybe some phone calls, but you have never met. It SEEMS serious. No real plans for a physical meet. But you both stated feelings for one another.
Then, you go to the store, the local coffee shop, bowling alley, bar, etc., and meet someone you are instantly attracted to. You talk, they want to call, meet for dinner.
Do you go? Do you remain "true" to the person you have professed to care deeply for who may live across the country, that you have never met?
If your heart is truly with someone else, whether it be online or offline, I don't see how you can enjoy dating another person. BUT...you really should meet and not wait long. That IS a waste of time, IMO.
For me, if I was REALLY attracted to that person I met locally, it would mean that my feelings for the person online were NOT that real. So I would talk to the online person and say that since there are no plans on meeting, I will be dating locally.
The longest I waited to meet someone from online that I cared deeply for was 4 months. For two months, I didn't even know what he looked like but the phone calls and computer kept the relationship alive. We lasted 8 months after meeting but the distance/different country factor wore me out. And truthfully, after him staying with me twice (3 months at a time), we found that we just weren't all that compatible. We still remain good friends, though.
Angel178 said:
Baby, my reality is not always pretty and you know it!! How many times have you told me not to yell in your ear 
heehee....Robo has said the same thing. 
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