| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:40 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Everything in a new relationship is about potential. We never know where a relationship will go, whether it be a face-to-face or online relationship. But the potential of some relationships is strong - regardless of the conditions. There are SO many levels at which people can click, emotional, physical, spiritual, intellectual, humor, relation to family, background, living conditions (kids, etc), biography, and so on. Who knows what it is about the other person that allows us to feel that special comfort that we don't feel with anyone else? All we can know for sure - again, whether on-line or off-line - is that they make us feel that there is the potential for a wonderful relationship waiting for us with that person. And that's what romance is all about - regardless of proximity.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:42 PM |
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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Good one EOB, I guess my point was, I wouldn't feel as comfortable if I was TOLD that is what they expected. And no meeting was planned....
If you choose to feel that way, and you can sense they do too, it makes it very special, very special indeed.
In the long run, everyone is different and each situation is different.
Hell I've heard of folks being married but living separate houses !!!!!!!! Now WTF ??? is up with that, why bother getting married?
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:43 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Palomino
Posts: 7,503
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Well said, Pete!  
ColdinWisconsin said:
Trust, yes, i'ts a must have. But so is patience. Laughter. Friendship first.
You want to talk about "real life"? Show me people who can see each other every day. Touch each other...make love...have sex...whatever you want to call it. I ask you....could they wait? Would they feel the other person was worth the wait, even if they didn't kow how long it would take until they could be together? could they have this level of trust?
You think we don't get attached to each other? Our families? Our children? Every missed game, every missed birthday, just to f**king touch their face.
I hear ya, CW! 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:45 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Laidback742
Posts: 3,429
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Each couple has their own type of relationship .... a comfort level for it .... an involvement level .... a way of making it work for them with any and all circumstances that they both face, within their own lives and with each other .... what some can accept, face, work around and deal with may not be possible for, or even understandable by, others, but it doesn't make it any less "real" for those involved .... as adults it is their choice to take a realistic view of what they feel, and face, and determine if it is workable .... if it is, power to them .... if not, they'll know in time.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 5:56 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Palomino
Posts: 7,503
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Pete73052 said:
Exactly! Emotional needs are, as we know, far more difficult to meet than physical needs. If people click on an emotional level, there is little doubt, for me, that they will click on a physical level. And when the emotional connection is strong between them, there is never a question of "should I go out with that person to have my physical needs met?" - the thought never comes up (OK the thought may - but acting out on it doesn't).
The problem with this is...women (at least for me) really don't separate emotions from physical contact. I'm not talking just sex, but as CW said...just to touch his face...or to be held. So without that physical touch, I don't see how a woman's emotional needs can be met. I'm a little strange, though. 
BrendaNoklahoma said:
When I'm interested in someone, in a way I go blind to everyone else so there's no problem.
Exactly! My daughter tried to fix me up with her neighbor. My kids were worried about me being in a long distance relationship and the emotional roller-coaster I was on. I met him when I was over to her house and he was good looking, funny, great conversationalist, good job, owned his own home, blah blah blah. And he seemed interested in me, so I put him off. My heart was elsewhere...far far away. So as blu said......
Just like anything else, life ( online or off ) is what you choose to make it.
And since it involves another person, choose wisely.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:02 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,282
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The problem with this is...women (at least for me) really don't separate emotions from physical contact. I'm not talking just sex, but as CW said...just to touch his face...or to be held. So without that physical touch, I don't see how a woman's emotional needs can be met.
Pete, this is to you and Angel.
Once you two meet, you will understand how you won't ever want to be apart again.
This is definatly the starting point of what do we do now? I can't imagine not touching you, To waking up in the morning without seeing you.
I see you are almost there you two. I have faith,,,,,
( and telling Angel that this is a beautiful state) 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:02 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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The problem with this is...women (at least for me) really don't separate emotions from physical contact.
Sure - and for guys, who needs emotions when you have physical contact...  But those "needs" go away when you've discovered the right person.
And Katt... we both know this... but the fact is, when we do meet, we WILL have to be apart again... probably for quite some time. We are both looking forward to being together, but not looking forward to the EXTRA emotional stress being apart will no doubt supply us with.
(pssst... Angel is at a beach bar right now dancing to a live James Brown impersonator... )
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:08 PM |
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Palomino
Posts: 7,503
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robodad said:
It's hard to have both of those (money/time) Some of us do work for a living and time off/vacation is limited.
At our last visit, I helped pay some of her expenses..
If you've got the money honey I've got the time
we'll go honky tonkin' and we'll have a time
we'll have more fun baby on the way down the line
if you've got the money honey I've got the time....
Oh oops....you just put that song in my head. 
Expenses....at least you didn't have to deal with that rental car agency...just with me when I dealt with them. 
He's right, though. I've got plenty of time since I've been on temporary disability for my shoulder surgeries, but no money to go anywhere like I used to. That is making me crazy, BTW because I love to travel!  So Robo is working and has the money to go, but not the time.
It's so not fair to have to work to have fun, but you can't have fun because you have to work! So all you lovebirds that are waiting to meet...start saving your change and vacation time and GET TOGETHER!!!! 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:11 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Fortunately, I'm independently wealthy... 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:11 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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GibsonGirl93
Posts: 1,162
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(pssst... Angel is at a beach bar right now dancing to a live James Brown impersonator... )
Now that's.....funny!!! She's so cute!
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:11 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Jankia
Posts: 9,164
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Sure - and for guys, who needs emotions when you have physical contact... But those "needs" go away when you've discovered the right person.
Not for this guy they dont.Physical contact doesnt make an emotional need like love go away for me and I'm sure for alot of other men as well.
Dont believe in generalizations like that ladies.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:13 PM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,282
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Pete:
And Katt... we both know this... but the fact is, when we do meet, we WILL have to be apart again... probably for quite some time. We are both looking forward to being together, but not looking forward to the EXTRA emotional stress being apart will no doubt supply us with.
I only hope it works out to the good for you and her. Angel does have her children and her job to keep her occupied too.
Just like I did too. It was the quiet times though that got to me.
The times of crawling in bed and looking out at the sky and wondering if he is looking at the same stars. Ya, I got sappy!
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:14 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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I'm a realist about online relationships because it's the one and only way I've been dating since 2002. I've learned that just because I really care about someone, I may not be physically attracted to him in person even though I've seen pics and live cam. I may find the relationship is only a good friendship, and not romance after we've met. I've discovered that many men will talk to me indefinitely (some have talked to me for years) without ever meeting me. Some will set dates to meet and then cancel at the last minute. Some are more than happy to try to take up all my time and then when I put them on the spot and say I'm going to go see them, all of a sudden, they make excuses not to meet. I'm still learning there are all kinds of ways to be disappointed and mislead so now, I keep my emotions in check. I believe this can work which is why I still do it, but loving to talk to someone online and on the phone is not a relationship. It feels good to tell someone all your secrets and to share your problems, but that's not love. I've found that some men use the internet to look for sex even if it's just phone sex or cyber sex that they're after and they will spend as much time as they have to to make a women feel special enough to do that with them. Maybe some women do that too.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:14 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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True Jankia, but some of us have endured a loveless marriage, for example, in which physical contact was the only thing that kept it together. And we can survive like this... just not very well. I agree with you however - and didn't mean to imply that it is a healthy situation. 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:15 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,282
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I think this is a wonderful thread!!!
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:17 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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The times of crawling in bed and looking out at the sky and wondering if he is looking at the same stars.
Yeah... been there... 
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:18 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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GibsonGirl93
Posts: 1,162
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um...how about every single night?
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:18 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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Palomino
Posts: 7,503
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Palomino said:
The problem with this is...women (at least for me) really don't separate emotions from physical contact. I'm not talking just sex, but as CW said...just to touch his face...or to be held. So without that physical touch, I don't see how a woman's emotional needs can be met. I'm a little strange, though.
OK....I don't see where I said anything about how the men feel specifically OR generalizations. I was talking about women, specifically myself. That's because I'm pretty clueless as to what men really feel, So it's good to hear Pete's and Jankia's opinions.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:24 PM |
Online romance or real attraction
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Palomino
Posts: 7,503
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Pete73052 said:
And Katt... we both know this... but the fact is, when we do meet, we WILL have to be apart again... probably for quite some time. We are both looking forward to being together, but not looking forward to the EXTRA emotional stress being apart will no doubt supply us with.
Oh....there IS no doubt that there will be extra emotional stress. That's why Katt said, "Then you make the big decision, who moves? That is a breaker for most people." But it WILL be worth it, so you two hang in there.
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| Sep 30, 2007 @ 6:26 PM |
Online romance or real attraction |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,282
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Ya, you have almost the whole board rooting you on!
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