| Nov 6, 2005 @ 11:09 PM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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LJT67
Posts: 68
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Im 38yrs. old and been married twice but I haven't dated lots of women in my lifetime,and never dated more than one at a time!now im in a situation where I just went out with two ladys and I like both of them!and yes both of them want to date me...this is uncharted waters for me,I don't want to hurt anybody! I know this is a normal thing for alot of people but im not sure whats the best way to handle it?
Thanks for your input. 
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| Nov 6, 2005 @ 11:11 PM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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exiled131
Posts: 1,808
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date both of them until you can choose one to get serious with. just don't let them find out about this.
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| Nov 6, 2005 @ 11:34 PM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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my advice is not to lead either lady on. if you feel strongly that one of the ladies might be that special someone for a long-term relationship - well by shear math that means one of the ladies .. won't.
I don't think you have to tell either lady any specifics about anyone else that you're dating, but i do think you have to be upfront and let them know that while you're dating them - you're still in the "dating game" and dating "others" as well - this way they have the same freedoms that you do.
peace,
andy
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| Nov 6, 2005 @ 11:43 PM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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LJT67
Posts: 68
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Yes thats what ive been told,it just seems a little dirty to me.Is it a accepted part of dating or does that make you a player??
Id like to hear from the ladys especially!
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 12:00 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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if you're being honest that you're still dating and that you're not exclusive - there is nothing dirty in that, not at all. you're basically saying "i like you but i'm not ready to committ at this time". Of course by being honest, you run the risk of one of the woman saying "goodbye" but one day in the future when you look back, would you rather say "oh i strung this person along and hurt her feelings" or would you rather say "i was honest with this person and she walked away and i might have lost out on a good thing - but i know i was honest and did the right thing".
it's all about reflection - everything we do always comes back to us, so give every consideration to how you want this to come back to you - in a positive or negative light?
peace
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 12:13 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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earthlydelusions
Posts: 51
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Hey Sweets. My suggestion, IGNORE Exiled. Thats "dog" town.
If you want some decent advice. Be their friends first. Let them know about each other. Besides. Why JUMP into a relationship if you cant be a friend with someone first.
I think that shouldnt hurt either of them two badly.
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 12:21 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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summersquall
Posts: 518
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When you tell them both you're dating more than one, one of them might make the choice easier for you by not being comfortable with that arrangement...
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 12:24 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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LJT67
Posts: 68
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My reference to being dirty was about exiled131's opinion.
Thanks Andy and Earthlydelusions 
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 12:33 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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LJT67
Posts: 68
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Yea Summersquall,thats what worries me!ive only been out with them 2 times,im not sure if I should bring it up yet or is it assumed that your dating other people unless you say otherwise?
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 12:41 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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mabeybird
Posts: 7
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I wouldn't stay silent on the issue and hope that they're assuming that you're not in an exclusive relationship with either of them. I would definitely mention, very soon, that you're still dating other people but that you don't want that to get in the way of exploring a potential serious relationship. Sooner or later you're going to decide that you want to get serious with one of them, or maybe with neither of them. Either way, you have to be up-front about it. If either of them walks away simply because you don't want to be exclusive after 2 dates, that's not really a woman you want to be with, anyway.
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 12:46 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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buni
Posts: 971
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I agree with what summersquall said,tell them both and one may make it easier for you....
I know that if a man i am dating tells me he is seeing other people I usualy do make it easier for him by not seeing him anymore....There are lots of other people to date without having to compete for one person.
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 1:00 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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LJT67
Posts: 68
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Im not sure how you ment that summersquall? were you warning
me not to say anything...or suggesting like Buni that I should tell them?
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 1:04 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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summersquall
Posts: 518
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If it were me, I would have told them before I took either one of them out the second time.
I think it's one thing to take a woman out to dinner or what have you, but I think if there was enough interest after the first meeting to warrant a second she should have your full attention. At the very least she should be made aware that she is not getting your full attention.
Mabeybird nailed it I think....
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 1:08 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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LJT67
Posts: 68
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Thanks guys! you've been a big help its bed time
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 6:04 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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Danger
Posts: 1,180
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i know this is late, but i agree-the best thing to do would to let them know you are 'dating'. i mean they can't expect that you are just going to be dating 'them' after one date. but if you let them know that you are seeing others until you find 'the one'...that works much better-atleast for me it would. i know i'd rather know up front...
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 6:06 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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soulless_spirit
Posts: 444
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Honesty is always the best option communication the key to the world ...so dont enter into deeply dont lie until your sure ... simple
soulless
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 6:08 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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soulless_spirit
Posts: 444
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i meant dont lie to neither of them ... and as one says do the friendship thing ... some women dont like to be the third whell and will make the decision for you ...
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 11:30 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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orlandina
Posts: 9
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my advice,dont keep them in some special hope before ull meet both of them. after 1 meeting ull be able to decide who do u like more...dont be involved before too much and dont give them a big hope,thats all.
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 11:18 PM |
I NEED ADVICE!!
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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How 'bout you add a third? 
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| Nov 8, 2005 @ 7:59 AM |
I NEED ADVICE!! |
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LEXI_IS_STILL_TROUBLE
Posts: 79
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i agree, be honest with them..i wouldnt break up with either of them, but make sure they both know you are still seeing other people...but in all honesty, i would prolly see them both and not tell either one...but then i am not nice lol ( not suggesting you do this, but i prolly would :P)
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