| Oct 3, 2007 @ 10:19 AM |
Available..but are you ready??
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madamegeek
Posts: 1,804
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It is so hard when any relationship ends, especially one in which you invested heavily with hopes and heart.
Since discovering the Internet, most of us ( I am at the head of the line) head right back here to console and occupy ourselves through the lonely spaces that have suddenly reappeared.
A good friend here led me to the realization that such an ending requires grieving and I am discovering what a deeply convoluted process that might be.I will admit that, while I might be far from "ready" to open myself to serious encounters, the need exists - now more than ever - to be "around" people and to seek companionship, understanding, and some sort of validation that I still have much to offer.
Any thoughts?
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| Oct 3, 2007 @ 10:58 AM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,408
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I say your instinct and need will tell you what to do as far as the Internet goes.
Real life, too, for that matter.
Not sure about the grieving process, maybe a "repair" process. Staying online, in threads that make you feel good, answer your questions, laugh, even cry, may bring the "repair" about more quickly. And you could make great FRIENDS without being online for "the one", just yet. If YOU aren't ready.
I've known people that stayed away from certain sites because they didn't want to "bump into" someone that hurt them. Everyone deals with a breakup differently. But if pain over a relationship that cannot be salvaged causes you to go into a shell, you won't meet somebody that could be the best thing that ever happened to you.
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| Oct 3, 2007 @ 10:59 AM |
Available..but are you ready??
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lj450
Posts: 9,551
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I think there are more who are ready, but not available.
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| Oct 3, 2007 @ 11:11 AM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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Damn it, LJ. I think you may be right. 
Madame,
As Loreli mentioned, you may make friends in the process. Hello friend. 
I find putting it all into words is very therapeutic. That is what is great about the blogs. They can serve as a place for me to go and have a release of emotions, do my venting, etc.
I also DO believe it is a grieving process. I was discussing with Carpe, during the wee hours, that breaking up is like a death, because there is such finality to it. You will never be with that person again.
(At least, if you're wise, that is.) 
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| Oct 3, 2007 @ 11:25 AM |
Available..but are you ready??
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GibsonGirl93
Posts: 1,162
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I've met some great people here!
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| Oct 3, 2007 @ 1:23 PM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,704
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available yes...... Ready yes.. after 8 years divorced and single.. and dating different people.. as i said in one of my blogs.. i want to meet that one person to see, be with, eat dinner across from the same face.. hold that same hand.. kiss the same lips.. well shoot you get the picture.. he needs to find me...... Sweet N Louisiana
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| Oct 3, 2007 @ 4:17 PM |
Available..but are you ready??
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FunPlayful
Posts: 123
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available
i was ready a long time ago
i am past ready to the point of being unable
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| Oct 3, 2007 @ 4:35 PM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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It took me so long to be ready that I went through two internet relationships to make sure. It turns out I wasn't ready until June of this year.
I am rather torn on this issue. I don't know whether to say just "take the plunge" to see if you're really ready or not..because truth be told, you're not the only one in the relationship and it would be unfair to have the other person be a "guinea pig" of sorts....
I'm not sure. I just know that I'm ready now, haha Not available though
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 4:16 PM |
Available..but are you ready??
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marylou
Posts: 10,729
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Maybe I am too old.....or not in any relationship long enough......(1 1/2 yrs at one time)....7 mths the other times. But I never once felt or got hurt after any one of those breakups. I certainly didnt grieve. Maybe I would have if I got involved with someone I thought would be in my life permanently but then he just up and left suddenly and hadnt mentioned his unhappiness or whatever he was feeling uncomfortable about beforehand. Maybe if I were engrossed in him then maybe I would grieve and go to pieces.......but then somehow I dont think I would. I usually get over relationship breakups quite easily. I reckon I would feel the pain for a short while.......and then move on very quickly. I never get too down in the dumps over breakups.....I think *why try and keep someone forever if they dont want to be with me*.......its better that they move on and so do I.
But maybe in your 60's your reaction is different.......I dont know. If they said to me.....I want to break up with you for this and that reason.....I would say...*OK suit yourself* and that would be it.........LOL. I would ask why first.....but after that would say *suit yourself*....LOL LOL LOL
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 5:16 PM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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Empath
Posts: 5,288
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I know I'm not ready yet. I'm even beginning to think about that shell Loreli mentioned. 
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 5:39 PM |
Available..but are you ready??
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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I was looking at my recent comments and I seem to be in an almost male-bashing mood which isn't really normal for me. I usually like men even if I don't believe much of what they say. Guys I met online have helped me a lot since I left my husband in Jan 2002 after being with him for 20 years. They were there to tell me everything I wanted to hear. The divorce was never final but he died March 1 2007, two weeks before I gave up my job with the state. I moved back to my hometown and whether or not it's because I haven't found another job yet or it's because being here reminds me too much of how much I had and lost financially, I seem to be sliding into a depression. Maybe I'm grieving because I wish my husband had apologized to me before he died and I didn't get that. I'm beginnning to wonder if maybe I should take my profile down from this and the other free site because I can't even get into the fantasy that the new guys who start talking to me will be any different than the ones I've talked to forever. Some of them are great but so many only think about sex and that's not what I need right now. I need someone who will put his arms around me and just hold me with no demands. Or maybe I just need a job so I don't have so much time to think about things.
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 8:03 PM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Obviously we aren't going to stay away from each other so there's no point in leaving. I don't have any interest in being with anyone right now either.
In a way breaking up has been really good for us. We've learned to communicate better over the last two weeks than we did in the past year. 
Sure it hurts but there's no growth without pain.
or maybe I just have growths. 
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 8:29 PM |
Available..but are you ready??
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,699
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need someone who will put his arms around me and just hold me with no demands. I would do that, but I can't reach that far.
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 8:32 PM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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Empath
Posts: 5,288
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We've learned to communicate Hey wait just a darn minute here....what's this "we" stuff?? I've always known how to communicate, and in the past ten years I've even learned how to communicate effectively.
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 8:38 PM |
Available..but are you ready??
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Hey wait just a darn minute here....what's this "we"
OK  I'm learning to shut the hell up and listen. 
BTW your turn
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 8:48 PM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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Empath
Posts: 5,288
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ok
It's not so much the "shut the hell up" part, or even listening.....it is the hearing of the words actually spoken.
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 9:09 PM |
Available..but are you ready??
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Yes Miss whisperer. 
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 9:18 PM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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Empath
Posts: 5,288
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I believe we've already discussed that.
[Edited on 10/4/2007 9:22 PM]
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 9:22 PM |
Available..but are you ready??
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cookies1234
Posts: 98
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For myself, I like to ideally take some time to reflect on the relationship if it lasted more than 24 hours LOL.
Seems like I have a closet full of red flags. I try to find the good in what happened after I have my tantrum...Works for me. I always end up with a lesson everytime.
I hope that you find that someone special you so deserve
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| Oct 4, 2007 @ 9:24 PM |
Available..but are you ready?? |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I believe we've already discussed that.
Yessum 
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