| Oct 19, 2007 @ 6:12 PM |
Please help me understand...
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0oGirlie_Girlo0
Posts: 64
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Why is it that everything is always MY fault?
Why is it that he thinks I should work to be everything he wants and everything he was looking for, even though it's quite apparent he doesn't want to do anything to give me what I want and/or need?
Ok, now...I don't ask for much, at least I don't think I do?
I want affection, appreciation, and some romance.
I'm not asking for romeo himself, but give me a little bit...I mean c'mon. I've been with the same guy for about a year and a half now, he's never even given me flowers, even though he knows I want them. He didn't even give me a card on our first anniversary. He chooses his friends over me time and time again.
Where am I going wrong here? I try so hard, and it would appear that no matter what I do it never seems to be good enough for the man I'm with.
This is not the first man, so I'm left to wonder if the problem is with me?
What can I do to achieve the relationship that I want? A partnership. Someone I can depend on, someone who can depend on me. Someone to hold, to laugh with, to share my life with. Someone who will tell me they love me (and mean it of course), appreciate what I do for them, and actually care about me.
Is it so bad that I want my man to simply ask me how my day was when I come home from work rather than staring at the tv and ignoring the fact that I even entered the room?
I want to feel attractive to my man. I want him to compliment me. Kiss me, caress me, etc...
Someone, anyone, please tell me why it is I always end up with a man who seemingly could take me or leave me and not care either way, and I always end up head over heels and eventually hurt...? 
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| Oct 19, 2007 @ 6:14 PM |
Please help me understand... |
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Laidback742
Posts: 3,431
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Where am I going wrong here?
Ummm .... staying with him? Move on .... if it isn't what you want by now, don't count on it changing.
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| Oct 19, 2007 @ 6:16 PM |
Please help me understand...
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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Because you let him.
You're 22, 2 kids....time to put you 3 first.
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| Oct 19, 2007 @ 6:21 PM |
Please help me understand... |
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psychmajor
Posts: 341
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You have to learn to be happy with yourself. questioning if you deserve that special treatment only shows others than you dont think you are deserving.. "I think therefore I am" you have to believe it before anyone else will.
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| Oct 19, 2007 @ 6:24 PM |
Please help me understand...
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,906
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You're not alone. This is a pretty common thing.
You are at an age where you have to try out different relationships until you find one that gives you a lot of what you need.
No relationship is perfect, so if you wait for that to happen, you will wait forever.
Since you don't have a lot of relationship experience, it's hard for you to know if a relationship you are in is really terrible or is pretty good even though it doesn't feel right all the time.
The only advice I can give you is to think it over carefully with your head and with your heart. If you are really unhappy, and feel that the relationship is not positive and uplifting in any significant way, it's time to move on. It's possible to do better than that.
PS: Even people who have their own internal issues to work out can be in positive relationships. Maybe you have some issues you need to work on within yourself, but my advice still applies and you are still worthy of, and capable of having, a relationship with someone who truly cares about you.
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| Oct 19, 2007 @ 10:25 PM |
Please help me understand... |
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Goodness_Gracie
Posts: 708
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I think you already know the answer! NEXT
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| Oct 20, 2007 @ 12:14 AM |
Please help me understand...
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GiggleAddiction
Posts: 24
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Someone, anyone, please tell me why it is I always end up with a man who seemingly could take me or leave me and not care either way, and I always end up head over heels and eventually hurt...?
I recently heard a line in a movie that spoke volumes to me:
"Women have the EXACT relationship they want."
I'm not suggesting you like being unappreciated, treated much like a doormat, but the reality is: You are only someone's victim ONCE. After that, you are a willing participant.
The answer isn't out here in forums, the answer is within you. I was once very much like you and one day I thought, "WTH? I deserve better." And I've never been in a relationship that was one-sided again. You have to dig deep, figure out who YOU are ~ not how to make someone like who you are. Best of luck. GA
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| Oct 20, 2007 @ 12:46 AM |
Please help me understand... |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 16,199
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Noone can make you feel inferior unless you give them permission to..... 
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| Oct 20, 2007 @ 3:32 AM |
Please help me understand...
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hotdognchilli
Posts: 3,776
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Exactly^^^ give up your power and people are gonna take it. 
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| Oct 20, 2007 @ 7:59 AM |
Please help me understand... |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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You teach people how to treat you...even if you're not doing it on a conscious level. Seems to be some pretty sound advice here so devote yourself to some self-reflection and your answer will come.
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| Oct 20, 2007 @ 9:47 AM |
Please help me understand...
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CHARLIgurl1
Posts: 658
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I agree.. act like a door mat and people will walk all over you.
I think youre too eager to please which leaves you open for manipulation.
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| Oct 20, 2007 @ 12:03 PM |
Please help me understand... |
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0oGirlie_Girlo0
Posts: 64
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thanks for all of your responses, guys.
The sad thing is, I pretty much already knew all of the stuff most of you said, however it's hard to let yourself believe it.
The reassurance is nice. I'll keep you updated.
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| Oct 20, 2007 @ 1:52 PM |
Please help me understand...
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marylou
Posts: 10,638
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....dont trust any bugger until you have known him a long while and he treats you well for a long time. Get a grip on your emotions....and dont get in deep too soon.....and get to know the person well you are getting in deep with. Men will only hurt you if you let them. I dont let them until i feel i can trust them 100 per cent and for quite a long while.....LOL. But then that is old age talking....LOL.
Life and experience is a great teacher...LOL
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| Oct 20, 2007 @ 4:07 PM |
Please help me understand... |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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I pretty much already knew all of the stuff most of you said, however it's hard to let yourself believe it.
I really think that accepting it all for yourself is the hardest part!
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| Oct 20, 2007 @ 6:36 PM |
Please help me understand...
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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I dated him too (not this exact guy, but a guy like him).
Spare yourself all the pain I had to go through and cut him off now.
If you want to talk ever, email me. 
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| Oct 21, 2007 @ 6:00 PM |
Please help me understand... |
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marylou
Posts: 10,638
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Yep.....thats what I say also....*spare yourself the pain*...
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| Oct 21, 2007 @ 6:14 PM |
Please help me understand...
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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girlie, sounds like we attract the same kind of guys.lol. i went thru a relationship much like one you talk about. finally after i lost every bit of self-confidence(which is exactly what he wanted) i decided i had to get out. i knew i wanted a better life and i wasn't going to find it with him. he drained me 100% in the worst possiable way. after i left, it took awhile to find the person i had been before him. i had to tell myself that i was a good person everyday even if i didn't believe it. after awhile though, i started to believe it. now, i am soooooo happy. even by myself. yeah, sometimes i still second guess myself but it's not often and when i do i have to pick myself up and go on. do i like being single? who in their right mind would? but would i rather be alone and happy than be with someone and loose myself? IN A HEART BEAT.i now know what i want, what i deserve, what i will comprimise on,and what i won't "settle" for. wish you all the luck.
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| Oct 22, 2007 @ 12:01 AM |
Please help me understand... |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 7,647
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i now know what i want, what i deserve, what i will comprimise on,and what i won't "settle" for.
yeppers peppers....and you spelled compromise wrong...  i'm a tell your Girl  Friend to get you a spell checker for Christmas.
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| Oct 22, 2007 @ 12:48 AM |
Please help me understand...
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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Girlie, you are picking guys you want to " fix ". Don't pick a guy and think either of you can conform to the other, it just creates animosity. Trying to put a square peg into a round hole is just driving you both crazy...
Love isn't always enough, so take your time and pick the right one, not Mr right now, or you will find yourself 10 years down the road and still looking for him......
If you start dating someone who just isn't the right one for you, each day gets harder, if you fall in love with the Mr. right now, it probably won't last......
Choose wisely, pick a keeper, live a happy life.....Without regrets.......
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| Oct 22, 2007 @ 1:28 AM |
Please help me understand... |
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southernangel32
Posts: 429
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sadian i was on a roll and by the time i saw it my 20 mins. were up. . your going to tell my girlfriend? don't have one of those.lol
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