| Dec 15, 2007 @ 8:49 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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Always_Striving
Posts: 7,596
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I was wondering if young girls that once played with Barbie and Ken dolls expected that when they grew older that their boyfriends or husbands would be representing the Ken figure....... effeminate, no horney genitals and showers her with a corvette and 3 three story house?
I was wondering that because of the expectations of some women that I met in the past. These women choose to remain in credit card heII even when you are dating them. They appear to be financially irresponsible and frequently expect you to pay some of their bills or if they have children expect you to be monitarily generous to their children or cut them free from some of that money responsibility because they have children.
Do you all think that if one chooses a LIFESTYLE like expensive spending habits or single motherhood that the person who chooses to date that type of woman should BE EXPECTED to pay some of that womans expenses? Should that man not think about the future and just shower her with everything he has ever earned or will earn?
[Edited on 12/15/2007 10:33 PM]
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| Dec 15, 2007 @ 9:44 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,701
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No, and if your woman is any kind of a woman, she'll tell you not to do it. I know that financially, I'm a lot better off than my SO is, but when I try to offer her a few bucks to help out, I get a NO from her everytime. Even when I've been able to slip her a couple of dollars on the sly, she doesn't like it.
You need to follow my lead and step up to a higher quality woman.
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| Dec 15, 2007 @ 9:46 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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missbehavyn
Posts: 45
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Why would you be expected to shoulder anyone elses reckless debt? Id say choose different women to date.
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| Dec 15, 2007 @ 10:05 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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signme
Posts: 9,590
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I think a lot of my preconceptions come from the books I read when I was younger. But I have never looked for a man to take care of me. I want an equal partner in life. I've proved I can make my own way, I've just learned it's no fun doing that all alone.
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| Dec 15, 2007 @ 10:31 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,346
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Always, Touch is right...you really need to look around more. I have no clue where you're finding these women but they bear no resemblance to me or any of my friends. Even back in the days when I was struggling to make ends meet, I NEVER took money from anyone I was in a relationship with...I'm a professional, just not that kind of professional!
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| Dec 15, 2007 @ 10:45 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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I dunno...I may just resort to being "that kind of professional." It's an honest living.  
If someone chooses to live beyond their means, then it's their responsibility. Personally, I know I'm not compatible with any such person.
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| Dec 15, 2007 @ 10:49 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,346
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Hiya Di!  Good point, it really is, at least in parts of Nevada... 
Oh, and I'm too old to ever have played with a Barbie doll. Of course I never would have anyway, I was too busy playing spaceship captain.
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| Dec 15, 2007 @ 10:55 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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Always_Striving
Posts: 7,596
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One of my best friends has a wife that he doesn't know how to say NO to. He's pussie whipped, a pussie boy, a pooh butt.
He is a business owner making a 120K income I believe, he has multiple tenant rentals.
He is 46 and married a phillipino 13 years older than he is years ago, she is about ready to retire soon and she makes less income as a medical tech. I think that she is jealous of his income. She has several relatives that are low income and invites them to come to Washington state so that she will pressure him into hiring them (zero experienced) to work in his office. She doesn't pay her half of the household expenses down the middle, but instead she flies to Las Vegas, or goes to the local Casinos to spend most of her paycheck, she also bought a brand new mini van out of their joint account without telling him, only because her own daughter couldn't afford one and she told him it was for the safety of her grandson.
He does not have any children with her but his money is going to pay for the expenses of her own daughter and her daughter's child. He's pissed off, (but pussified to do anything about it). About the only time he has told me he has put his foot down to her is when she (his wife) told her daughter to call him dad. He shouted, I'm not your dad. He tells me that he is too scared to get divorced and doesn't know why he married her in the first place. She wants him to buy a bigger house than what they currently have. He told me that he also was brave enough to stand his ground on that. He said NO!!!!
I asked him what he will do once she is finally retired and is not making enough money to fulfill her expensive gambling habits (she flys to Vegas 4 times a year, every year). He said he'll tell her no.
I think Bullsh!t.
He is one of the people that I know in that circumstance. There are others.
In my story, I dated a woman that was credit card spendy, I destroyed my cards and to this day don't carry one. She wanted a good ole' time, ALL THE TIME, ON MY DIME, oh what a rhyme 
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 2:38 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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Dianne told me she expects to be a "kept woman". therefore, there are some women who are classically conditioned to such a life. the burden is upon those who have knowledge. as for wisdom, that burden is yours also. to he who has eyes, let him see, to he who has ears, let him hear. selah
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 5:00 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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luvmycats
Posts: 9,744
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Geez... my Barbie dated a GI Joe with a missing foot, and a broken down Jeep. Her "ball gown" was made out of one of my dads old hankies. She could shoot just as well as he could too!
As for the men in my past, I was the one that pulled their butts out of debt... at least tried to. 
Its a lot different with Duvvy, he only has one credit card, and doesn't like to use it. I have one, and don't like to use it either. So, if we don't have hard cash money, we wait until we do, to get what we want. Lemme tell ya, that was mighty hard to do, waiting for him to come up here. But we did it, and it made it all the better, because we WORKED for it!
As for the regular dating world, I have always insisted on taking turns footing the bill. I never wanted to feel like I "owed" a guy anything.
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 6:12 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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carpediem48
Posts: 3,138
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Ahhhh Luvvy and Duvvy,,,,,,sittin inna tree,,,ooops   
Where was I,,,,,,ok you guys,,,,you too Luvvy,,,
How come nobody has,,,,ahem  ** called** Always for including 'single motherhood' in the  LIFESYLE OFCHOICE category 
I was brought up by a Super proud Independent Scots woman who was also a 'Single Mother'
But she sure as #%$&* didn't ,,,,CHOOSE,,,
the 'Single Mother Lifestyle'
[Edited on 12/16/2007 6:18 PM]
[Edited on 12/16/2007 6:24 PM]
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 7:15 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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Always_Striving
Posts: 7,596
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carpediem48
What I meant by that was the type of woman that expects you to cut them a financial break or sometimes even insists that you pays her childrens expenses.
It's not a voluntary type of thing....... it's expected and sometimes pressured.
I know some women that have done that.
Anyway that was only a sub-catagory of this topic, not the primary focus.
Speaking of pressure, I don't think it is right for a woman to say: If you like me you have to like my children. One doesn't necessarily lead to the other.
Will rocks be thrown at me just for bringing that up???? If so, then I feel it's unfair not to express my opinions or beliefs.
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 7:24 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 8,637
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Nope. No rock throwing. BUT, I have to wonder where you are finding all these materialistic women.
Remember this.....If you want a woman who had beautiful nails, is dressed to kill, never has messy hair, has a perpetual tan, great boobs and can't sit on the floor cross legged. She's gonna cost ya.
As for a woman expecting you to like her child/children....there is also the fact that the child might not like you either.
Most single mothers have been supporting their children for long enough to not expect or WANT you to take care of them.
***************************************
As for my preconceived notions or fatasies about the kind of man I want......
I want a mans man. A man who takes care of his own. Will do what needs to be done to support his family. Knows how to laugh. Has his own interests and hobbies. I would like to find him interesting after all.
Someone that I find attractive. We all have different tastes.
A man who understands the importance of "us" time, and also the importance of doing things as a family unit.
Hell, I want it all.!
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 8:02 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,701
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You want it all CW? From your description, you don't want much. You just described how most normal guys are.
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 8:10 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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... this is the most important part... (Where the "wanting it all" comes into it. )
Someone that I find attractive. We all have different tastes.
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 9:24 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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luvmycats
Posts: 9,744
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How come nobody has,,,,ahem ** called** Always for including 'single motherhood' in the LIFESYLE OFCHOICE category
I was going to call him on that Carpe.  Guess I got side tracked when I started thinking about my Duvvy.
Striving, I don't think any woman WORTH HER SALT, would expect or even allow a man to pay the expenses of her children. UNLESS... they were married, and wasn't working outside the home herself.
In my first marriage, my husband did pay all the expenses for my daughter that I had before we were ever married. By his CHOICE. He made enough money for me to be a stay at home mom with our then infant son until he was 4 years old. I had a part time job in the evenings, but he paid the majority of the bills. BUT, he also did nothing around the house except mow the grass and change the air filter. He always had a hot meal waiting on him when he got home, clean clothes, clean kids, and a clean house. So, it depends a lot on circumstances, and the two individual people.
Speaking of pressure, I don't think it is right for a woman to say: If you like me you have to like my children. One doesn't necessarily lead to the other.
I would hope that any mother would insist, if you don't like her children then you are history. (again, thats if she has custody or gets them for visitation) If you can't love her children, then there isn't much hope for a relationship. (from any good mother anyway) and I don't think you would want less.
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 9:32 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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carpediem48
Posts: 3,138
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Luvvy,,,,You GO GIRL    ,,,,,BUT
speaking of another kinda 'going',,,,,don't do dat 
[Edited on 12/16/2007 9:34 PM]
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 9:33 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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sweet5red
Posts: 8,136
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hes honest, passionate, loving, a one woman man..knows a little TLC is good.. Sweet N Louisiana
Hes Pure country
I don’t care if he wears dress pants
Or wranglers
He knows how to bait a hook
Hes quite the angler
He gives great bear hugs
His kisses set me ablaze
Who is this elusive
One I dream
About these days
Until I find him
Or by chance he
Finds meUNtil then
You can just sign me
Pure country and lookin..
2007..
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 10:11 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions)
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candylily
Posts: 1,347
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I don't think it is right for a woman to say: If you like me you have to like my children. One doesn't necessarily lead to the other.
I think anyone raising kids should have that attitude. When my kids were young and a guy didn't like my kids, I knew immediately he wasn't the guy for me. I'm not sure I really want to date anyone with kids to raise at this point in my life, but if I do decide I want to date a parent of a younger child, I would expect that the way I get along with his kids would and should be a determining factor in whether or not we continue to see each other. If you don't like someone's kids, you should move right along because they're the most important thing in a good parent's life.
Always, I agree that some women look at men as walking paychecks and credit cards, but if I were a man, I wouldn't be the least bit interested in a woman like that. CiW is right that there are probably tip-offs that a woman is too concerned with money and possessions and she gave some excellent examples. If a woman is too focused on her appearance, she may also be focused on finding someone who will help her afford to buy the expensive clothes and trips to the beauty shop she thinks she has to have. Maybe you should find a women who wants to climb that rock with you. She probably won't care too much that she chips a nail.
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| Dec 16, 2007 @ 10:35 PM |
The man a woman might fantasize about (preconceptions) |
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signme
Posts: 9,590
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My motto: LOVE ME, LOVE MY CATS!! And if ya don't like cats, forget it.
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