| Dec 19, 2005 @ 1:21 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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AladinSane297
Posts: 102
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I'm wondering if forever really happens... I've been in relationships... been married... happily even... for a while... we were married for well over a decade.
Does forever ever really happen? it's what I want... what I'm looking for ... What is it that I keep doing wrong that makes me miss out on that forever thing?
I was at the grocery store the other day and saw a man walking... he had his child in the cart and his wife (I'm guessing) had her arm wrapped in his... all I could think was that the man has no idea how lucky he is.... and couldn't keep from crying a little... how do I find that?
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 1:26 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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AladinSane297
Posts: 102
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sorry you feel that way.... Muskoka.... I'm being very serious though...
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 1:34 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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 Aladin, I know exactly what you are talking about....the story really did touch me. Let me know if you get an answer here.........waiting
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 1:35 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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torees121
Posts: 739
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No forever is not out there.... one may find someone they love for a long time, but I don't believe in forever. Just my opinion.
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 1:37 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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AladinSane297
Posts: 102
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it's ok Muskoka... you're probably right... I could've written differently... I'm just tired.... tired of coming home to an empty house... tired of having no one to share what happened during the day with... tired of meeting someone only to find out that they weren't ready for a relationship (would've been nice to know at the beginning) ... I'm just tired
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 1:49 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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AladinSane297
Posts: 102
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not really... what would we have to talk about?
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 2:15 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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Technologic
Posts: 113
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Aladin, your post is a cry for help. So is your profile! I don't know if women would approve of it because you "might" come across as a mental case. "Maybe" even weak.
If I were your Doctor I would prescribe beer, buds and a vacation!
I went through a phase like yours once but I was younger than you are now. It lasted a good while before I resolved it but later something else happened that caused more ill feeling of hopelessness. Instead of getting depressed and feeling my destiny was to be alone. I realized I needed to change something. But what needed changing was the hardest to find. In my case it took moving to a different town. That was a huge help! Then, I focused my energy towards my kids. For me I spent the better part of 2 years learning to "live the now" but "plan for the future".
I have met some women and have enjoyed their company but if we don't "hit-it-off" I just move on. If we get married- great! Divorced- oh well! I would simply appreciate the time I had because it's impossible to script out life. NO DWELLING! What I'm trying to say Aladin is no one can predict if anything will work or last forever. Life is funny and it's also what you make it. Try to work on the things that will make your life better. Then work on the things that make you feel better.
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 2:21 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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B4Barbie
Posts: 24
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Mr. Forever? I wish.
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 2:24 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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AladinSane297
Posts: 102
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I understand that Technologic... and thank you... I know there are things that I need to change... and I was never one to be weak... in body or spirit... the last few years have been very rough on me though... finding what needs to be changed... and knowing how to change them are not coming easy
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 2:25 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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summersquall
Posts: 518
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I think 'forever' is created by two people, it's not found somewhere...
When both people want the relationship to be forever and are willing to work toward that goal, then you can create your own 'forever'.
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 3:25 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 3,818
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It's all about mindset... go into any relationship, be it friendship, casual dating, serious involvement.... with the idea that you are here for but a brief moment... live it as though it were your last.....not worrying about if it's "forever". Live life "in the moment" and it will take care of itself.
Been where you are, Aladin... I grew and learned from the hurt and mistakes made.. and then I rediscovered who I was and what I really wanted from life and then went about changing my thought patterns.
Doesn't get any better unless you make it happen!
Best wishes for whatever makes you content Hugs
[Edited on 12/19/2005 3:26 PM]
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 5:44 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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forever... is it out there?
Umm, you want the long or the short answer?
Here's the long one anyway:
No.
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 5:49 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Sane, most relationships start out like a romance novel. Everybody loves everybody.
Then time passes and the little things that would normally irritate but were completely dismissed at the beginning start to become noticeable: leaving the toothpaste cap off, not helping out with the dishes, forgetting to fill the gas tank the last time you drove, hogging the remote, etc.
Then these "little" irritations blossom into bigger ones, disinterest in what the other person's doing, intimacy isn't as often or intense. A gulf develops and people start doing their own thing.
Then real animosity or apathy takes over. People not only don't "know" what the other partner is doing, but don't "care". There is no nurturing, no caring, no love.
Then the gulf becomes so unbridgeable that splitting up is not only a possibility, but desirable.
The key to “forever” in relationships is NOT let things deteriorate to that last, irreconcilable stage.
What does it take? A lot of hard work, sacrifice, understanding, and emotional balance, among others.
Do I see a lot of that in modern relationships? Not really. Everybody is too preoccupied, ambitious, egotistical, narcissistic, unforgiving, short-sighted, and short-term.
We live in a throwaway society and have the same mentality.
We have too many people not willing to “settle”, and not enough willing to look at themselves and honestly say, y’know, I’m not really perfect, so why am I expecting it in a partner?
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 5:57 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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waiting41
Posts: 1,926
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 another one of mo's romantic posts 
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 5:59 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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AladinSane297
Posts: 102
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and therin lies the problem... I make sure to put the cap back on the toothpaste (proverbial)... I make sure to show an interest in how mt partners day went.... I'm affectionate... I'll take her by the hand and dance with her in the kitchen for no other reason than she's there and I'm in love with her.... I try to give space and not smother.... but when I decide to be in a relationship I give everything.... nothing is held back... I don't know how to do it any other way.... and it always seems to come back and bite me in the a$$
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 6:01 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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 I know...giving great advice is a curse. I AM feelin' kinda frisky, though, waiting.
C'mere you sexy thing you 
Ahhhh, the pause that refreshes. 
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 6:02 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,930
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Mo ROCKS! Hey girls, who wants to marry Mo? Sign up here.
Ummm... Sorry, but I go first. 
1. MarysPlace
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 6:02 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Sane, for a relationship to work "both" partners have to put that toothpaste cap back on. 
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 6:07 PM |
forever... is it out there?
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Mary, I'm feelin' even friskier now that you're here....
Ahh, this is a private matter, people (Closes the thread curtain...a few minutes pass with much happy screaming and shouting)
 Take yer time, boys, I'm exhausted not dead....Whatta Woman!!!
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 6:40 PM |
forever... is it out there? |
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Classy_Blonde
Posts: 6,034
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I know I make light of many posts here, but this one really is sad.
I have also spent time in that seemingly 'hellish' pit. It can seem never ending, and it takes everything you have, to drag yourself through the day. It does get better...I promise. Much better.
I took a 'Marriage and Family' class, back in college. My instructor told the class, "Marriages ALWAYS end." The moment he said it, I kind of sat up in my seat, feeling a sense of dread. He went on to say, "Be it through divorce, or be it through death." Why had I never looked at it that way before?
Here is the glass is half full aspect:
A woman was talking to a friend about how her 11-year marriage had failed. The gentleman friend looked at her and said, "Eleven years is a long time. I call that a successful marriage." (True story) It isn't the number of years, it's the quality of the years.
Sane,
Change your profile, K??? I liked the part (here) where you talked about how you put the cap back on the toothpaste. If you always put the toilet seat down too, you're a great guy in my book.
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