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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 12:28 AM |
Need opinions, please
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jack1301
Posts: 2
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Hey, everyone! I could really use some opinions here. Okay, I met this guy on the Yahoo Personals site, and we have met several times now. I have even met his daughter and he has met my kids. He is just coming out of a marriage as am I, and we have made an agreement that we are going to be friends for now but still spend time together every now and then. He says that he doesn't want to feel any pressure to move forward beyond what he is comfortable with. I don't have a problem with that at all because he is a really great guy, and I like spending time with him. I am perfectly happy just getting to know him slowly and taking things slow because I am sure in no rush to get into another heavy relationship.
But here is my dilemma. He wants to be just friends, right? That was our agreement for now. Well, the other night out of the blue, he asks me out to dinner. Okay, that's fine. No problem. But the thing is that he lives in a neighboring state and had to go about 2 1/2 hours north in his state for a job. Well, on his way back from there, he claims, he set his GPS navigator thing to lead him in a direction that is off the main roads, and it led him mysteriously through my town. Well, I got on Mapquest and tried it 3 different ways and not once did it lead him through my town which in in a completely different state, although the states are right next door to each other. He lives an hour and 15 minutes from me. Why would this guy who just wants to be friends go completely out of his way to come through my town "accidentally"? Oh, yeah, and he always pays for dinner. Just friends would go Dutch, right? What do you all think? Is this "just friends" behavior or what? I'm confused. Thanks!
Julia
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 12:37 AM |
Need opinions, please |
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robodad
Posts: 7,823
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The guy pays for your meal? The nerve of him!!!! Dump him right now!!!!!!!! 
I have no idea where you're going with that GPS story
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 4:29 AM |
Need opinions, please
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ilikebigbutts
Posts: 15
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He likes you and wanted to come see you. Is this a sin?
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 4:59 AM |
Need opinions, please |
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KAOS2007
Posts: 8,201
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Oh yes, complain complain, THe nerve!  
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 7:39 AM |
Need opinions, please
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jack1301
Posts: 2
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I'm not complaining, and it isn't a sin. I just want to know what's going on here. Is it becoming more than just a friend thing? If so, I would be very happy about that. Thanks!
Julia
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 8:47 AM |
Need opinions, please |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,413
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Thr person that knows that, is him. Ask him.
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 9:50 AM |
Need opinions, please
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graywolf
Posts: 44,535
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sound slike he is attracted to you and maybe wanting to move forward. You mentioned that you are both "just coming out of a divorce" so I would caution that both of you slow things down.
Perhaps a good open and honest converstaion is in order. Good luck. 
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 10:37 AM |
Need opinions, please |
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st93
Posts: 303
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But the thing is that he lives in a neighboring state and had to go about 2 1/2 hours north in his state for a job. Well, on his way back from there, he claims, he set his GPS navigator thing to lead him in a direction that is off the main roads, and it led him mysteriously through my town.
these sat nav devices aint perfect, they can/do make route mistakes...
I advise you to quit worrying about his 'detour' and enjoy his friendship
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| Jan 27, 2008 @ 11:01 AM |
Need opinions, please
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CathyCRN
Posts: 4,016
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I have a "friend" that I met on MD that will drive long distances to buy me dinner...I can't ever pay for anything when we are together....but we are just friends. It has never really progressed past the friendship stage and may never...who knows. I just enjoy our time together and take it for what it is...not strings, no commitments, friends.
It is too bad that your "friend" felt that he had to fabricate a GPS story instead of just telling you straight out that he's coming to your town to take you to dinner. I wouldn't read much into it though...just enjoy the ride...
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| Feb 5, 2008 @ 10:57 AM |
Need opinions, please |
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marylou
Posts: 10,729
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... Maybe he felt lonely and wanted to be with you......everything he stated in the past may still be true. He just might want to spend more time with you. It may not mean anything one way or the other ....other than that. I would just take it as it is.....at the moment and not read too much into it thats not there. Even with friendship.....if you like the person.....you enjoy being with them.....for the time being. Maybe he still wants to take things slowly...easy and comfortably. He may have gone out of his way.......at the same time....what he said before my still stand. You will know diffently as time progresses. I have had many experiences.....you can never predict what men are thinking or feeling at any given time.....unless they make it totally clear.....and you will know.....then I would just ride along with it......and not expect too much other than how things are right now. If you want to go in a deeper direction and he doesnt.....it might end things. Pressure .....even light pressure...or anything that gives them the message that yo uare expecting more.....can often drive them away. TREAT HIM LIKE ANOTHER WOMAN FRIEND......AND YOU CANT GO WRONG.....LOL
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| Feb 5, 2008 @ 10:59 AM |
Need opinions, please
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marylou
Posts: 10,729
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....sorry for the typos...lol
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| Feb 8, 2008 @ 4:12 PM |
Need opinions, please |
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EvolvednReal
Posts: 46
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When a man with whom you have started out romantically tells you he wants to be "friends", it usually means that he isn't serious about you but wants to keep you on the hook in hopes of screwing you without any commitment. At any point he can take up with some other woman claiming that you & he were "just friends" after all so you have no right to be angry. "Friends with benefits" is more what he has in mind but that is a complete waste of time and never works. Be clear that you consider friends to be a platonic relationship or phase in a relationship, and you'll soon see what his intentions are. Men are often deliberately vague and that is always a red flag. It's up to you to get clarity if there's any question in your mind. There's always a chance that he is just taking it slow and easy but you have a right to know.
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| Feb 8, 2008 @ 4:41 PM |
Need opinions, please
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nah12
Posts: 3,973
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Stop dead in your tracks and don’t over analyze it…..take him at his word….women like to analyze things and put them in neat little stacks, but things don’t always go in a stack. IMO always take a man at his word if he says he wants to be friends only…other wise you are setting yourself up for a fall…….good luck and just enjoy your new friend....
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| Feb 8, 2008 @ 8:31 PM |
Need opinions, please |
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academicgirl
Posts: 161
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Don't worry, be happy. Sounds like he just wanted to see you. I wouldn't worry about him paying for dinner either. Sheesh.  Just enjoy!
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| Feb 8, 2008 @ 8:35 PM |
Need opinions, please
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,080
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There are two real possibilities.
1. He is saying whatever you want to hear.
2. He was serious, but now that he said that he is not so sure if he only wishes to be friends. He has a crush on you, he finds you sneaking into his mind, and has no idea how to explain his feelings knowing full well, you only want to be friends.
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| Feb 8, 2008 @ 8:55 PM |
Need opinions, please |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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Just enjoy his company and try not to put a outcome of it......
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| Feb 8, 2008 @ 9:59 PM |
Need opinions, please
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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That's a long drive for dinner. (Although, I've driven 4 hours one way just to take someone out to lunch!)
A suggestion? Next time he takes you to dinner, tell him it's a long drive back and ask him if he wants to spend the night. My guess is, by the next morning,
you'll have a REAL good idea of his intentions!!!! 
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| Feb 8, 2008 @ 10:53 PM |
Need opinions, please |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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Jester, you are in rare form tonight.
To the OP...if he wanted you, unless he's painfully shy...you wouldn't have to ask.
Even if you occasionally snuck into his mind..I'd think if the thoughts were that powerful, he wouldn't be able to keep it to himself.
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| Feb 8, 2008 @ 11:17 PM |
Need opinions, please
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 13,677
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 Pammy...
Oh, yeah, and he always pays for dinner. Just friends would go Dutch, right? What do you all think? Is this "just friends" behavior or what? I'm confused. Thanks!
trying very hard to understand this.. did he just show up in your town..then called you out of the blue asking you to go out to dinner? or was he trying to get ahold of you for some time?
how much longer did this detour add to his 2.5 hour drive
and does he act like "just a friend" .. when he is around you?
but I really think your answer is in your OP..
He says that he doesn't want to feel any pressure to move forward beyond what he is comfortable with. ....I am perfectly happy just getting to know him slowly and taking things slow because I am sure in no rush to get into another heavy relationship.
Didn't this used to be called taking it slow and easy..??. It just sounds to me like you two are just getting aquainted here..and neither one of you know just where the relationship is headed
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| Feb 9, 2008 @ 1:38 AM |
Need opinions, please |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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Gallows.... 
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