| Feb 11 @ 6:47 PM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,299
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And how much do you second guess yourself because of what others think?
I've been giving myself some really swift kicks lately. I've got a perfectly good relationship that's just about perfect for me, and here I am second-guessing myself because of other peoples' opinions about 'friends with benefits'.
You'd think by now I'd know myself well enough to know that I'm just not 'normal' in many respects, at least compared to most of my women friends. I don't want a full time relationship, and kind of like having an excuse for not going to parties and such. I was kind of bummed about not going to a Chinese New Year's banquet because my SO didn't want to go, till one of the guys I work with asked if I'd be his 'date', and I realized I'd actually been relieved that I could skip it.
Am I the only one who goes through this kind of thing? I mean, thinking that I should be wanting something more than what I have, when down deep I really know that I already have everything that's important to me? I mean, it's not as though he isn't attentive and/or supportive as needed...he's batted something like .995 over the past year. Damn, I'm dumb.
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| Feb 11 @ 6:52 PM |
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Loreli
Posts: 18,401
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And he's damn lucky.
Yes, we all go through that.
If it makes you happy, satisfies your needs, who cares what others think?
Let them.
And, we all dream, look-and many know we have just what we want.
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| Feb 11 @ 6:54 PM |
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BandTMom
Posts: 24,697
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I think we all do it, Heaven. It's the nature of the beast. If things are going well we are going to do our best to screw things up.
If you are happy with the situation, tell those who hassle you to bug off.
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| Feb 11 @ 7:10 PM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,673
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And how much do you second guess yourself because of what others think?
I do it quite often, but not as much as I used to...
It's really easy for people to say "if it makes you happy, ignore other people", but when say it's your family or your best friend trying to push their opinions on you....that's really, really hard to ignore...
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| Feb 11 @ 7:12 PM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,247
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I mean, thinking that I should be wanting something more than what I have, when down deep I really know that I already have everything that's important to me?
I think we have all had this thought some time or other.
Why should we want more? I can't imagine having more than I do right now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nNsOWD0y_A
[Edited on 2/11/2008 7:26 PM]
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| Feb 11 @ 7:20 PM |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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And how much do you second guess yourself because of what others think?
I'm somewhat amazed to see this post from you, Heaven, as I consider you to be a woman who fairly oozes self confidence and self knowledge! It's made me appreciate you all the more.
For me, it seems second guessing myself (inside of relationships) is second nature as I can be so thick headed about realizing my own role in it's dynamic. I know what I want and need...I just need to remember it and not get swept away by a pretty face, sweet ass and beautiful words.
If your needs are being met, then I agree...you're damn lucky! ENJOY IT. DON'T question it or analyze it to death because it only spoils your happiness. 
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| Feb 11 @ 7:22 PM |
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katydid438
Posts: 6,081
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You got it right there Di  
Heaven,,thanks for sharing
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| Feb 11 @ 7:29 PM |
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nah12
Posts: 2,861
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ahh Heaven, it's always good to rethink things.....we all do it for better and worse....but it does allow us to realize what is truly important to us when we are honest with ourself.....
my problem is i forget what i was thinking about while i was thinking it..... 
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| Feb 11 @ 8:01 PM |
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luvmycats
Posts: 9,423
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I'm somewhat amazed to see this post from you, Heaven, as I consider you to be a woman who fairly oozes self confidence and self knowledge! It's made me appreciate you all the more.
Me too! Me too!
Yes, we all do it Heaven. I have depended on so many of you here to keep me on track so I would "allow" myself to accept what I want. You just keep right on doing what YOU want and the people that don't "get" it... hey they aren't "getting it!" 
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| Feb 11 @ 8:11 PM |
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,505
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Kind of the same thing I'm going through, but slightly different.
Everyone... friends, family, school officials... EVERYONE seems to think I'm not a good mom. My son thinks I'm an awesome mom. I care what my son thinks - I don't care what anyone else on this earth thinks.
Sometimes, I may second-guess myself, but for the most part it just makes me mad that other people think they know what's best for my son more than his own mother.
Heaven.... if you and your guy are happy... there is absolutely no reason you should be second-guessing yourself or letting other people's opinion bother you. Besides, I happen to know you are completely capable of making the right decision for yourself. I have a lot of respect for you. And, you have the right to live your life the way you want to.
Hugs,
Lee
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| Feb 11 @ 8:16 PM |
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painter007
Posts: 14,651
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When it has to do with a man in my life I never second guess myself....I just let myself feel.....You can listen to what others say, then spin it in your head, overthink it and not just let it go in the way its supposed to...Just listen to your heart...
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| Feb 11 @ 8:26 PM |
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BeachCrete
Posts: 6,791
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It's just our nature,,,"grass is always greener on the other side"....just trust you inner self.....that's who you need to make happy....and in the end that's who you have to answer to...JMHO 
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| Feb 11 @ 8:27 PM |
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bucsfan553
Posts: 73
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That's a good one and a toughie.
Personally, I decide whose opinion I will weigh and consider. My children, of course, even though they're grown. If I were to get involved, it'd be someone they'd be spending some time around. So their opinions matter, but it's still my life so if it's someone I'm happy with and they don't particularly "like" then I expect them to at least show respect as I would for them if they were dating someone I didn't "like".
Anyone else...ehh. I may listen to what they have to say, but if they don't want to hang with me when I'm out with him, then it's just as well.
I know when I'm happy and who I'm happy with. Those are the people I tend to gravitate to. I think that works best, and I'd tell anyone else to do the same. Makes life a lot simpler.
[Edited on 2/11/2008 8:34 PM]
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| Feb 11 @ 9:04 PM |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,378
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Why do we seek approval from those we don't approve of ourselves?
Because it's human nature to want to be accepted, cared about. I'd say
if people don't have these thoughts now and again, they'd be less than human.
Be good to yourself, Heaven. You're a wonderful woman. Give yourself a break.
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| Feb 11 @ 9:36 PM |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 7,850
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Who are you?
I am me, or i guess whoever you say I am.
to you and to me, Im just me.
RE second guess. Depends on how and why they are delivering it. Yet others opinions are just that. ( good thing I hear mostly that Im smert, and a super dad. Helps me feel better at times.)
Theres never a definate absoulute answer.
I seek NO ones aproval. I dont need it. they will or they wont and i dont swet the small stuff. I seek tranquility, balance and happiness. I have never been nor ever want to be a "Jones"
Trying to live up to what others may think or not live up to, confuses our focus of our ownself. To thy ownself be true; never a more true statement. This applies as knowing yourself as well.
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| Feb 12 @ 1:15 AM |
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sweet5red
Posts: 7,658
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i am a very good person and i know it.. i try to be helpful and be good to people.. i am honest and there are times when i help those that really need to learn to help themselves.. i feel more confident in the last few years and good due to all i have accomplished on my own with NO help.. and yes someday yes i willl even have a man in my life that will appreciate me..  but in the meantime i will treat myself and appreciate myself and BE my own valentine... Sweet N Louisiana  
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| Feb 12 @ 10:29 AM |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 5,802
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who am I.....
 ......just me....
who do you want me to be.... 
And how much do you second guess yourself because of what others think?
I don't second guess myself.. but I do tend to revisit how and what was said ..deciding if I gave enough information to where the other person had enough to base their thoughts on..
it is a given that you can't please everyone..
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| Feb 12 @ 11:43 AM |
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Loreli
Posts: 18,401
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I am quiet, very innocent and 
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| Feb 12 @ 11:51 AM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,299
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^^^^^^^^^^ Where's the pod? Somebody snatched Loreli!
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| Feb 12 @ 11:52 AM |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 5,802
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then.... who is this person???
Nipple play.
Loreli
Posts: 15,091 Too hard squeezing....no!
Biting-no!
holding lightly, licking lightly, nibbling softly-YES!
 ......
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