| Feb 19 @ 6:34 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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violette1967
Posts: 401
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I love you...but I am not in love with you...
Someone explain this to me. What exactly does it mean?
They love you like a child, friend....???
Could it be a sign of cowardness? A sign of uncertainty?
(good grief I am starting to sound like Waawaa) excuse all the idiotic questions...but I can be a bit hardheaded at times :)
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| Feb 19 @ 6:52 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,607
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i preceive such a statement as a part of the game. perhaps you might quit asking such questions. i sense that you are a player and the game is essential to your existence. otherwise you are an idiot. are there really players so stupit that they do not know they are playing a game? life is a game!! chit or get off the pot! thats it! dey is on pot! grinning like the cheshire cat! pepsi and cool ranch doritos! sorry, my bad, you folks play on thru while i watch! LOL
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| Feb 19 @ 7:07 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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good grief I am starting to sound like Waawaa 
On a more serious note, I think being in love is an emotion and that emotions are fickle. Being in love would therefore, not be a constant.
Love, on the other hand, is much deeper than a mere emotion. Love is only established through experience, a deeper knowledge of and true acceptance (warts and all) of the beloved one.
This probably won't help you any as my views are opposite of popular belief. 
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| Feb 19 @ 7:12 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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violette1967
Posts: 401
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Now Jammin, had you read my other forum posts and blogs, you would find that I am quiet serious with these questions :) and am by no means a player of any sort, but rather a woman that is confused by the male species and it's "games" with my normally intelligent mind.
There....
Thanks Di, I get what your saying. Sorta.... 
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| Feb 19 @ 7:15 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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parrothead1234
Posts: 270
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Everyone knows there are different flavors of - (parent/child, lifelong friends etc.)
In a dating sense I've always took "i love you but not in love with you" to mean approximately something along the lines of "I love you & everything you do for me, but I don't love you enough to sacrifice anything for you."
I realize that's a bit jaded, but I guess that's the door prize for caring enough to be hurt sometimes.
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| Feb 19 @ 7:51 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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violette1967
Posts: 401
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That's it Parrot.....I love you but not enough to sacrifice anything....
That's what it feels like. Still very cowardly in my mind.
Door Prize? Dang it...I thought I was the prize 
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| Feb 19 @ 8:00 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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DipityDoo
Posts: 376
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I don't think it's necessarily cowardly; it can just be what the way it is, but only you know your history with this person. I have male friends I love but am not in love with..they are friends, and are loved as such.
On the other hand, it can be quite an glib excuse to get out of a relationship or a deeper committment. Not sure if that's cowardly, exactly, can just be convenient. Especially if someone won't listen. But again, only you know the history.
Time and again we see these kind of questions asked by people who really do know the answer, but want to be talked out of the truth. I know it's no fun.
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| Feb 19 @ 8:08 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,377
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Well, it's how my SO and I feel, and it's definitely both of us. We (both of us) are willing to compromise and to sacrifice time and some of our interests in the interest of maintaining our relationship, but if it came to anything really important, nope. We're good friends but there's absolutely no question of our living together.
To me, I was 'in love' once...and yes, it was romantic love, but much more than that - it wasn't just the two of us who knew it either - over and over, people called us the twins and it was a standing joke that there was no point to asking both of us about anything, because we'd each know exactly what the other would say. It was nearly a year before we even held hands, but we were talking in code from the minute we met, we'd read so many of the same books and ready each other so well that we were always finishing each others' sentences. Fireworks? You bet. Time stopped when we were together, and I've never experienced anything remotely like that with anyone else - romantic love's supposed to last about 12-18 months, this lasted four years and might well have gone on longer if it weren't for the stumbling block of he wanted children and I couldn't bring myself to risk it.
This relationship is more like old shoes, after a year or so. We read each other well, we're good friends and really care about each other. We both know all the intimate details of each others' lives, but it's nowhere near the same thing. That total bonding has never, and will never happen. That's something you just know, if you're being honest with yourself...at least I do, and so does he.
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| Feb 19 @ 8:12 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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baldy855
Posts: 451
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di
I've read many of your posts for sometime now and this one throws me a little bit. I agree with you.  The emotion of love is not that meaningful to me because emotion is just a circumstance. I don't believe love is love without sacrifice and commitment. There......I said it........the c word. 
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| Feb 19 @ 8:14 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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...every now and again I pull something totally off the wall outta my butt...and it even kinda makes sense.
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| Feb 19 @ 8:19 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,528
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The emotion of love is not that meaningful to me because emotion is just a circumstance. I don't believe love is love without sacrifice and commitment. There......I said it........the c word.
What's so wrong with sacrifice and commitment?
and
Love, on the other hand, is much deeper than a mere emotion. Love is only established through experience, a deeper knowledge of and true acceptance (warts and all) of the beloved one.
Agreed. And this is the difference between horny and love. Horny lasts a moment, and wanes. Love...can get deeper, without having to reach a moment of heaven. There's a comfort in loving and being loved back.
[Edited on 2/19/2008 8:22 PM]
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| Feb 19 @ 8:21 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 5,646
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I love you...but I am not in love with you...
Someone explain this to me. What exactly does it mean?
...you are cared for, but you are not the one I want to be with.... 
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| Feb 19 @ 8:24 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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bucsfan553
Posts: 73
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I love you...but I am not in love with you...
Someone explain this to me. What exactly does it mean?
They love you like a child, friend....???
Could it be a sign of cowardness? A sign of uncertainty?
Depends on when it's said. I only said it once, post-breakup. Wow...never again.
What I meant was that I didn't want to be in a romantic relationship with him any longer, but I still cared about him.
It apparently triggered something in him...if I could have pulled the plug I would have. My ears were bleeding!!
We were able to be friends...later, but on occasion I'd get the rant...roll my eyes and go...oh no not again! 
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| Feb 19 @ 8:29 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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katydid438
Posts: 6,187
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Sad, cruel but true Sadian 
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| Feb 19 @ 8:39 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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lobo65
Posts: 574
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When I hear a woman say that, it means I'm out the door. 
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| Feb 19 @ 8:47 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,528
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Lobo, just remember, when one door closes, another opens.
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| Feb 19 @ 9:29 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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luvmycats
Posts: 9,439
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because we'd each know exactly what the other would say. It was nearly a year before we even held hands, but we were talking in code from the minute we met, we'd read so many of the same books and ready each other so well that we were always finishing each others' sentences. Fireworks? You bet. Time stopped when we were together, and I've never experienced anything remotely like that with anyone else I have FINALLY found that! I never dreamed I would be this happy. I "thought" I had been in love before, but it was nothing like what I have with Duvvy. ~swoon~
Its kinda freaky sometimes when we are on the phone and both surfing the web looking for something and both yell out at the same time, THATS IT! Turns out its the same thing. We also finish each others sentences.
I could go on and on, but not many folks like hearing this stuff. I just want people to know it is possible!
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| Feb 19 @ 9:30 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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Angel178
Posts: 21,528
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Wow Jammin...that was a little harsh..... 
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| Feb 19 @ 10:15 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you.....
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BeachCrete
Posts: 6,972
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I love you....but I am not in love with you..... ...always remember folks...that everything that comes before the word "but" is untrue(in most instances)....that's how the word "if" was invented too.....had to give a little hope to the weary  
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| Feb 19 @ 11:02 PM |
I love you....but I am not in love with you..... |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,959
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To love someone yet not be in love with them IS often tossed out glibly to try to avoid having the other person make a scene or to soften the blow of a breakup, but it can simply mean there just isn't the chemistry that one person needs to create a long-term, fully intimate and partnered relationship. Yet love exists on many levels, so it's not always lying but just means one is loved as a friend and nothing more.
Only the two in any relationship can really know the difference, though.
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