| Mar 9 @ 1:18 AM |
You know what I think.....
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sr20_00
Posts: 47
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So, I have an honest profile with a sincere message. I don't BS around about who I am or what I am looking for. I also read through a lot of profiles and pick the ones that I think might create a match. I am not too picky and I truly read the words. I send email, not just a wink, to quite a few females. I know I am not a perfect 10 when it comes to looks, but if some would just look further I think they would realize that my personality makes me look a whole lot better. There is always some lame excuse in the reply, or no reply at all.
While I know physical attraction is important to some extent, I think it is playing too much of a role. I think a lot of women on here fill their profile with the normal "I want this, I want that"(s) yet they do not even act interested when offered those things. I think most, regardless of what they say or type, are looking only skin deep. They hope to gind the perfect model, firefighter, bodybuilder, or 'hunk' type body.
I think this is why most are still single. They are clicking the picture before reading the profile and not exploring the soul(s) available because they hope to score "said body type" whether the personality is there or not.
Now I know this doesn't apply to all women on MD and please don't get offended if you are one of the exceptions. I just think that some of the choices out there really need to dig a little deeper into their heart and find out what they are looking for. If some of you truly desire just the looks then please state that on your profile. At least you would be honest then. If the looks are truly second and the personality is first then please act accordingly and give a sincere gentleman a chance.
Anyone else care to chime in?
Please don't be offended by this post. If this doesn't apply to you then great. If it does then I am just asking you to be honest so that I and others can quit wasting time.
I am positive this applies to both sexes but I am just sharing my experiences.
signme:Edited to show that I agree w/you.
[Edited on 3/9/2008 1:25 AM]
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| Mar 9 @ 1:24 AM |
You know what I think..... |
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signme
Posts: 9,581
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I'd have to say that the same applies to many men also.
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| Mar 9 @ 1:59 AM |
You know what I think.....
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Say_Yes
Posts: 1,786
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You know what I think? I think you are a hypocrite. After all, your profile states that you are looking for a woman
body type: (high) Athletic / Toned, Average, Slim / Slender
So, while you are not a perfect 10 and you want to gripe about women who reject you, because of the way that you look, you see no problem in only looking for women who have a body type that is either, Athletic / Toned, Average, Slim / Slender. Maybe you should try
exploring the soul(s) available because they hope to score "said body type" whether the personality is there or not.
In other words, those who live in glass houses, should not throw stones.
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| Mar 9 @ 3:29 AM |
You know what I think..... |
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sr20_00
Posts: 47
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Sir, a body type is not what is important to me for the sheer looks. I am not looking for the supermodel type or the perfect measurements. I am just looking for someone around my size as that is what I feel comfortable with. I am not looking for a supermodel or perfect measurements, just a like-size. If I found the personality in a larger woman then I would gratefully accept that. I do not HAVE to have but I PREFER smaller. There is a difference between HAVE TO and PREFER.
If you care not to believe me then send me an e-mail and I will copy and paste or screnshot all e-mails that I have sent and you would see that the majority I have e-mailed have been above average to curvy women. My ex wife was larger than me and the previous relationship of three years was substantially larger.
Instead of being so harsh in your words, you might try a little bit of constructive criticism with a little bit of tact.
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| Mar 9 @ 3:36 AM |
You know what I think.....
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sr20_00
Posts: 47
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body type: (high) Athletic / Toned, Average, Curvy, Muscular, Slim / Slender
besides that. Who are you to talk?
Being intelligent, attractive and cultured makes for a nice beginning. I like to be around women that are positive and have an upbeat attitude. If you are constantly depressed, seek professional help.
/sarcasm You seem like an EXTREMELY nice person. /sarcasm
1. Move on. It did not work.
2. Grow up.
Yet another example of your wonderful, wise words.
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| Mar 9 @ 9:04 AM |
You know what I think..... |
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minky
Posts: 239
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I am sure you are a very nice young man.
If you are hoping to attract your desired mate may I suggest one thing?
You look a bit young in your photo, maybe if change it to one that looks mature and shows that you are handsome.(which you are )
It's just marketing 
[Edited on 3/9/2008 10:17 AM]
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| Mar 9 @ 9:33 AM |
You know what I think.....
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,609
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so after reading what you think, I have come to conclusion its has to be you. While you sit there and sound like your accepting youre passing all the blame. Anyone with half the insight can see that its all their fualt for not being interested in you, I send email, not just a wink, to quite a few females Theres your first mistake. They wont admit it it, And it wont always show on their profiles but women talk. Even and speacially here. Its a sisterhood. Pick one work that angle. Plus an out look like this gets you no where....There is always some lame excuse in the reply, or no reply at all. Theres an understandabilty that goes with rejection. You seem to be missing it. And very quick to pass blame and this is a trait of emtional bullies. Youre giving off the impression that you should be able to just point and the panties drop. It dont work that way, well for me it does, but youre not me. Look everyone here has had emails go unanswered, or at one time given a "lame" excuse. Even the perfect tens. The difference is they aint in here shooting off their mouth and complaining about their poor luck. Thats a sign of imaturity. And you now displayed it for all too see. Once again shooting yourself in the foot. Im noticing a pattern are you?
I just think that some of the choices out there really need to dig a little deeper into their heart Or perhaps you need to dig alittle deeper in yourself and try to find what is being rejected, by your accounts, repeatedly.
Prehaps you arent as personable as you like to imagen.
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| Mar 9 @ 9:34 AM |
You know what I think..... |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,313
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First, there are many here that aren't going to respond. Just a fact. And maybe because even a nice rejection would be considered "lame" anyway!
So-it isn't just you.
Second-you ARE nice looking.
That's not your problem...
Third, I don't know what you write to them, but maybe that's the problem.
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| Mar 9 @ 11:20 AM |
You know what I think.....
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sr20_00
Posts: 47
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burns:lmao @ pointing and panties drop and I'm not you
Also, I appreciate the insight and constructive criticism. You are correct that I have displayed a bit of inmaturity and maybe even a little bit of a weakness. I may have complained about it but I am also just sharing my thoughts. I am in no way trying to sit on a soapbox and hope everyone comes running although, it may seem so.
I see where you would think that part of my first problem may be sending too many e-mails. That is part of the reason I search online. I get along with a vast majority of individuals and if I just try to work at one personality until I find and interest I feel that I am limiting my possibilities. If I were to even receive a remote interest from any one person then I would definitely solely focus on them until either one of us decided that we didn't truly match.
loreli: first=true
second= thank you very much.  You are definitely not hard on the eyes yourself. 
third=maybe I need to take a lesson then. I sure would hope that my e-mails don't get passed off due to what I write. I take a good look at anyone before I e-mail them to see if I can match any similarities and personality traits. I try to keep it sincere, with mostly just a little note, breaking the ice, allowing them to inspet my profile and respond if desired.
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| Mar 9 @ 12:01 PM |
You know what I think..... |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,313
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I would suggest,
don't give your email addy first email...they may feel "safer" here for a few conversations
no phone number given
Pick something in their profile that appeals to you, kindly point that out, short but sweet.
 thank you
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| Mar 9 @ 12:03 PM |
You know what I think.....
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sr20_00
Posts: 47
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Oh, I don't give my e-mail addy at all.
I tend to point quite a few things out inthe initial message. Maybe that is too much?
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| Mar 9 @ 12:57 PM |
You know what I think..... |
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Say_Yes
Posts: 1,786
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besides that. Who are you to talk?
Being intelligent, attractive and cultured makes for a nice beginning. I like to be around women that are positive and have an upbeat attitude. If you are constantly depressed, seek professional help.
The difference is that I don't whine, when someone rejects me for the way I look, when I have stated that appearance matters to me. I am not a hypocrite. If a woman is not interested in me, for whatever the reason may be, then I accept that and I move on.
Your original post was based on the idea that all that mattered to a "lot of women", was the "type body" that the guy had. Then on your profile, what do I see under "body type" desired in a female, slim, atheletic or average, with high importance. To me, that reeks of hypocricy.
Now, if a woman's body type is important to you, fine. I have no issue with anyone's personal standards or in their knowing what they find to be important in a mate. We should all know what is important to us, in order to find a good match. In fact, I have much the same standards, as you, in what I desire in a mate. The difference is that I don't whine, if someone in whom I have interest, does not return that interest, due to her personal taste.
Oh, and as for your comment
sarcasm You seem like an EXTREMELY nice person. /sarcasm
1. Move on. It did not work.
2. Grow up.
Yet another example of your wonderful, wise words.
I never said I was nice. What I am is honest. If you can't deal with an honest answer, then don't ask the question. As such, you too could benefit from the above words.
Move on.
Grow up.
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| Mar 9 @ 12:59 PM |
You know what I think.....
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,609
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I tend to point quite a few things out inthe initial message. Maybe that is too much
Very very good self insight. Most women Love gifts. The mystery of whats behind the wrapper, let them unwrap you. Them same dating rules that play in real life, pretty much go for online too. Be somewhat of a mystery. Use your profile for the heavy stuff. Emails are like fishing, light gentle tugs to get the bit, let them run with it.
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| Mar 9 @ 1:56 PM |
You know what I think..... |
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sr20_00
Posts: 47
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say: In other words words it's ok to be harsh when criticizing but not to whine? Ok then. If you can't attempt to offer helpful information without being what I consider rude then please refrain from posting on my thread. Thanks buddy.
Burns: Not really self insight when someone such as yourself offers the idea first. You are a humble person. Thanks for your encouragement.
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| Mar 9 @ 2:18 PM |
You know what I think.....
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Say_Yes
Posts: 1,786
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say: In other words words it's ok to be harsh when criticizing but not to whine? Ok then. If you can't attempt to offer helpful information without being what I consider rude then please refrain from posting on my thread. Thanks buddy.
I am offering helpful information. I am saying that the problem is yours not theirs. If you find honesty to be rude or harsh, then, we have identified a second issue, with which you need to deal. Life can be harsh and hiding from problems, does not solve them. Identifying problems and then dealing with them does.
If you prefer, I could say, oh you poor guy. What horrible women they turned out to be. They really should not reject you. How shallow of them.
Now, do you feel better? Does a statement like that do anything to address the issues that you raised? Of course it doesn't. Sometimes people need to hear truth, even when the truth is unpleasant.
Oh and I'm not your buddy.
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| Mar 9 @ 2:28 PM |
You know what I think..... |
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 8,637
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you would see that the majority I have e-mailed have been above average to curvy women.
 HELLLLLOOOO! 
I do believe you emailed me?!
If you want my honest opinion (and this has nothing to do with me...I'm sure you recall my email)
1) Make sure your within a womans age range. We really do put it there for a reason. Age is more than just a number to many women
2) As mentioned previously. Different picture. One that shows JUST YOU.
3) I honestly believe that the forums are the best way to meet like-minded people. You see their humor, how well they interact with others. And you also get a GREAT idea as to how many people they have "dated" on the site.
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| Mar 9 @ 2:38 PM |
You know what I think.....
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,609
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theres nothing average about your curves.
lets play with #3)
we both are geniusues Cold, How come we aint nekkeds? No need to answer, I already know the answer. LOL I play.
So ya get along with, some ya just dont, the inbetween is indifference.
humble, truthful, tomato, tomato... huh? 
Just BEEEE yourself ..... the Genie from Aladian.
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| Mar 9 @ 2:53 PM |
You know what I think..... |
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parrothead1234
Posts: 476
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I can't tell you what you are, or are not doing right in terms of generating responses. I'll just throw out a few things to consider............
You may need to lower your expectations a bit. Think about how many women you know, or see on a regular basis - that aren't family members - potential dates. (Friends, neighbors, co-workers, the gal at the gas station etc.) Now think about how many of them you've dated. If you put the math to it, it's a really low percentage for most people.
If you apply that thinking to here, it's the same thing. You could email a hundred women, but maybe 10 think your good looking. (Nothing against you, it's just everyone has their preferences.) Out of those 10, you may only have common ground with say 5 of them (maybe less?) And then with the interent, the issue of distance comes into play.
If you blanket email every female, you'll have a long "row to hoe."
Get involved with the forums discussions. Change your expectations. "Expect" to hear & learn similar/different opinions on topics that interest you. Right off the bat you know your communicating with people of similar interests.
Seems to me, finding someone special is a lot easier when you know your starting from the same common ground - as opposed to emailing every lady on the website.
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| Mar 9 @ 3:00 PM |
You know what I think.....
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Jalon
Posts: 898
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^^^Isn't he just so smart...and cute?!
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| Mar 9 @ 4:17 PM |
You know what I think..... |
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DipityDoo
Posts: 376
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Very very good self insight. Most women Love gifts. The mystery of whats behind the wrapper, let them unwrap you. Them same dating rules that play in real life, pretty much go for online too. Be somewhat of a mystery. Use your profile for the heavy stuff. Emails are like fishing, light gentle tugs to get the bit, let them run with it.
This is very good advice, Burns. Nothing will turn me off quicker than a lengthy initial email; to me, this just seems like the person is fishing for a relationship, that any will do, whether there is that spark or chemistry or not.
Also, sr_200, as others had indicated, lack of responses can NOT be taken personally, or attributed to your looks (which are just fine, for most people, I'm sure!) or put on women 'for being shallow'. Men always talk about lack of email and responses on this board. It's just that women far outweigh the men AND men are more aggressive in going after someone.
Also, could it be the fact that women will suspect that your job keeps you away from home often, and that, coupled with the fact that you have a child, means you may not have a lot of time for a relationship? I guess I would wonder that. (But then, what do I know... I got myself mixed up with someone from another country, after saying I'd never do an LDR!).
ANyway, good luck to you!
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