| Mar 9 @ 5:45 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something.
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gwilsonh1973
Posts: 4
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My wife and I have a great relationship, the sex is usually good, sometimes, but something is missing. She hates for me to touch her physically. She does not want to be touched in her genital areas. Why, I do not know. I have asked her many times and she just tells me that she does not like her breast or lower areas touched, AT ALL. There is no foreplay. She tells me to get it over with. Then, she rolls over and goes to sleep. When she does hug up to me during the day, she tells me that I never JUST hug her. I have tried that and all she thinks is that I want something, regardless of what I say. She tells me that she doesn't masturbate, yet she rarely has orgasms or enjoys our sex. She will go out of her way to please me, then comments about doing all of it for me and not to worry about her. WHAT IS GOING ON, Is she cheating, or masturbating in secret. I think that it is strange that she doesn't have an orgasm for several months. I also think that it is strange that she does not want to be touched in those areas or receive oral sex. Can someone please explain all this to me? Thanks, all advice is appreciated.
[Edited on 3/9/2008 6:08 PM]
[Edited on 3/9/2008 6:09 PM]
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| Mar 9 @ 6:16 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something. |
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Say_Yes
Posts: 1,775
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You have a serious problem and it can't be solved here. This is not a healthy relationship and if the two of you, can't solve it on your own, then I would suggest that the two of you seek professional help. There is an issue somewhere that causes this sort of reaction. If it continues, then over time, it will destroy your marriage. I strongly suggest that the two of you go to a marriage counselor.
Good luck to you.
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| Mar 9 @ 6:20 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something.
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CathyCRN
Posts: 3,950
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Well, depression can cause a lack of sexual drive. Is she exhibiting other signs of depression (sleeping too much or not at all, not eating or eating excessively, tearful for no reason, feeling exhausted all the time, etc)? Perhaps a visit to her health care provider would be a good idea. There are many causes of this type of problem in women...if no health issue is identified, marriage counseling would be a good option.
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| Mar 9 @ 6:20 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something. |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,232
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I would say she needs counsiling. Have you asked her why she doesn't like being touched?? She needs help from a professional.
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| Mar 9 @ 6:22 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something.
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gwilsonh1973
Posts: 4
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she says there is no reason, she just doesn't like to be touched. I even asked about possible abuse, and she assured me that has never happened to her.
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| Mar 9 @ 6:23 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something. |
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gwilsonh1973
Posts: 4
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she doesn't act depressed, but I know that doesn't mean anything.
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| Mar 9 @ 6:24 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something.
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BeachCrete
Posts: 7,546
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maybe she fell outta love  
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| Mar 9 @ 6:26 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something. |
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gwilsonh1973
Posts: 4
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I questioned that Beach. She looked for a Bible to swear on, so I don't know about that either.
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| Mar 9 @ 6:29 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something.
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,465
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Is the only time you touch her when you want sex? Do you share anything else besides a bed? For women, it's a good deal mental. And they don't need the release men need. They can go forever without an orgasm. It's a mind/body thing. Try holding her sometimes without the expectation. And yes, she may just be out of love.
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| Mar 9 @ 6:29 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something. |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,232
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Has she ever wanted to be touched? Or has this happened just lately?
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| Mar 9 @ 6:49 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something.
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SlowRide
Posts: 10
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Sounds pretty contradictory to me.
"Good relationship, the sex is good, usually"
followed by
"She hates for me to touch her and tells me to get it over with".
Make up your mind, dude.
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| Mar 9 @ 6:58 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something. |
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Jalon
Posts: 875
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^^^Perhaps he means it's good for him?
Counseling. You both need it. Her, to work through her problems. You, to deal with your frustrations and to understand what is happening with her.
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| Mar 9 @ 11:18 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something.
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capitalview
Posts: 675
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What seems to be a problem here? It's pretty normal for a couple to have different sex drives and preferences. As long as she is doing her best to keep your higher sex drive satisfied , you should consider yourself lucky man and appreciate her loving efforts to make you happy. Or would you prefer some bitch who'd ignore your needs or demand that you'd do things you are not comfortale with? Not every person is "touchy-feely" type , there's hardly anything wrong with respecting one's partner's personal preferences. As long as you have healthy erectile abilities to satisfy her natural way, there's no need to worry about alternative sex ( like oral ) either.
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| Mar 9 @ 11:31 PM |
What am I doing wrong, or am I missing something. |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,144
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It's pretty normal for a couple to have different sex drives and preferences
I agree.
And, you leave much out...do you both work, how many hours, little kids in the home?
You REALLY need to go to counseling with her....
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