| Mar 14 @ 9:19 PM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends.
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bucsfan553
Posts: 79
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What should you do? It's obvious someone's no longer with someone else...newly single.
Or someone writes and asks so what's new with you and your honey and there isn't a honey anymore.
It's awkward...been on both sides.
As the newly single...I don't want to talk about it, but appreciate the offer of a listening ear.
I usually seque around that, because if it's someone that knows us both...well yeah...I don't want to say anything to make them feel differently about "him".
I'm a very private person, and whatever happened between us, even if there's no communication (which I think is best...most often) I made my choice, or he's made his...and life goes on.
The only thing that's made it hard for me, this time, is either my friends, or our mutual "friends" (I say that for a reason) write me...what's up with him...he's been so weird or the "I want to hear your side of the story but I have my suspicions".
If they want to know what's up with him, then why write me? I don't keep in contact with him, I made a clean break.
It's the people who knew us both...yeah, they're sad...waa...you were such the "perfect couple"..they're in shock.
Well I was too!! DUH...how does someone who claims to be your friend expect you to get past it and over it...which I am...not easy...obviously he yanked out over 2 years of my life like pulling out a rug under your feet.
The offer of a listening ear...if you need it...can't they just understand that's the last thing you want to talk about or be reminded of?
Yes, my plans for my life have been unexpectedly and shocking changed. It happens.
So ask me how I am, and accept when I tell you I'm fine, because I am. If I'm not, I'm not too proud to say...it's hard...don't assume I'm hurting when I'm not.
Don't hurt for me, when I'm not, and doing so much better. An email from someone dragging me back into that or bringing it all up, when it's NOYB...if they're fishing for dirt or gossip. Not going to comply.
It'd be so much easier when people who supposedly have been my friend and are friends with him would quit dragging me back down there.
To NOT have to talk about it...you HAVE to talk about it...ehh...and whatever you say. I just have to be blunt and brief...and not answer their emails anymore.
If it's a vent then it's a vent...sheesh, not the first time I ever broke up with anyone and not the first time I broke up with someone that everyone else though we were "perfect" for each other,
I let it go...I'm way beyond tired of trying to tell them how to.
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| Mar 14 @ 9:25 PM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends. |
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michedkel
Posts: 4,685
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UH....what's this post about? Brevity is the soul of wit. Help. 
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| Mar 14 @ 9:41 PM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends.
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bucsfan553
Posts: 79
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I apprecaite that...haha.
If a friend of yours, or a mutual friend of yours as a couple...there's a breakup.
Just say I'm sorry...and be a friend. Don't try to extract the relationship history or feed the gossip monger as to who did what or what happened.
They were together, they're not. Be a friend or stay out of it. Don't try to stir the pot for your curiosity.
Is that a brief enough summation?
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| Mar 14 @ 9:50 PM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends. |
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michedkel
Posts: 4,685
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UH.... briefer than your previous post bucsfan. I appeciated my best friend helping me through a difficult breakup. It was my first relationship after my divorce. I thought I had found love again and POOF! But he helped pull me through it and we became closer as a result. I'm sure alot of my friends were talking about it, but frankly, I didn't give a damn. A wise man once told me those who matter won't judge and those that judge don't matter.
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| Mar 14 @ 10:58 PM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends.
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willowy1
Posts: 4,919
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Hmm I guess some people need the reader digest version eh?
Bucs a real friend will be there for YOU but respect your wishes for privacy.
Never could understand people that want all the dirty details.
You seem to be handling your situation with much dignity. You gave your take without putting the man down. Kudos to you, rare lady!
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| Mar 14 @ 10:59 PM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends. |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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perhaps briefer than briefer? forgive me but i am afflicted with "yes dear". can someone narrow the subject down so that a guy reviewing espen news for the 16th time will pay attention. no blonds please, we got enuff trouble wit communication already. we be jammin 
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| Mar 14 @ 11:19 PM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends.
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willowy1
Posts: 4,919
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Hey Jammin she is a redhead what else do you need to know? I have read some of your comments do you understand sign language? 
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| Mar 14 @ 11:44 PM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends. |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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i concur, she is hotter than a 2 dollar pistol. as soon as i git my teeth fixed i will go down there and play her. in the meantime, i gots a garden to attend to. those old gals at south beach jus gonna have to wait! they got limp bisquit pool boys don't they! i love this game! we be jammin
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| Mar 15 @ 2:01 AM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends.
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,307
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Take a few of your words from the first post, and write them down, and use this as a reference. Like........
I just have to be blunt and brief
I'm a very private person, I made my choice, or he's made his.
I don't keep in contact with him, I made a clean break.
And add, " I prefer if we keep our mutual friendship separate from each other. "
" I would feel more comfortable if we can we talk about something else. "
I once had a ex gf's father say to me, " we all know one person gets the friends." It doesn't have to be this way, in fact I did some work for him last week, and we both share the same friends to this day. 
Happy trails to you.... 
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| Mar 15 @ 7:11 AM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends. |
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oct_cat
Posts: 417
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Oh jammin . . . such an attitude towards blonds 
Glad I'm afflicted with being "blonde", not "blond". 
Briefer than brief . . . 2 people break up, forget the details & don't assume they're unhappy. Life goes on.
How's that?? 
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| Mar 15 @ 10:16 PM |
Post-breakup behavior...sorry for the word etiquette...not the ex the friends.
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signme
Posts: 9,581
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After my last experience I really think it's better to make a clean break than try to stay friends. At least that's the way it was for me. If we had made a clean break, he would never have been able to hurt me a second time. Only one of my friends had ever met him so I doubt if anyone will really discuss it.
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