| Apr 17, 2008 @ 5:18 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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DipityDoo
Posts: 377
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....an old lady once said to me....*if you become a loving person in yourself......you will attract love*...........well guess what....I think she might have been wrong......I have been a loving person all my life.........so I dont know what the answer is.....LOL LOL LOL
Well, I think that's part one of the equation.
Part II is actually meeting ohter loving people. Sometimes, the people you happen to be around aren't all that loving!
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| Apr 17, 2008 @ 5:22 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,729
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Dipity......you are probably right there...lol. Guess the secret is.....to get out and about and make yourself known.........guess no one is going to come knocking on my door........lol
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| Apr 17, 2008 @ 5:24 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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No because I know he is out there
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| Apr 17, 2008 @ 5:26 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,729
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Painter sweetie...how are you? Long time no see.......thought you had gone on vacation.........LOL
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| Apr 17, 2008 @ 5:26 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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Thank you....No I have been going out and having fun  
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| Apr 17, 2008 @ 5:28 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,729
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oh good for you....I am jealous...LOL LOL LOL 
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| Apr 17, 2008 @ 9:31 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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tahoma
Posts: 10,576
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Love is something you find within yourself and share it selfishly.... There is no need to go looking for it... you have it within your own capacity to give it, like a gift that keeps on giving
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| Apr 18, 2008 @ 3:44 AM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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newfie6750
Posts: 1,882
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when it come it will come that all you can do
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| Apr 18, 2008 @ 5:43 AM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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no not tired of looking just dont think its out there for me, if i smoke im done for if im over 58 same thing so as the saying goes if its out there we will find each other in the meantime got the bike and on the go....
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| Apr 18, 2008 @ 8:42 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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tahoma
Posts: 10,576
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share it selfishly
oops!!!!! I meant selflessly 
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| Apr 18, 2008 @ 9:11 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,102
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I try to think of an answer to this question of looking for love, but everything I attempt to write just sounds whiney!  So to make it simple “YES”!  
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| Apr 18, 2008 @ 9:51 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 17,992
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it's ok Dwain.....we are all getting "whiney".....
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| Apr 20, 2008 @ 5:34 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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marylou
Posts: 10,729
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TAHOMA.......while that is so...........I think the thread means looking for love from a man...........as in partnership or such. What you are talking about is in a general sense. Being loving within oneself is OK......but it doesnt always meen that one will get a partner.....any more than someone who isnt that loving.....if you know what I mean!
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| Apr 22, 2008 @ 11:29 AM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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Makya
Posts: 1,131
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as in partnership or such
Thats the thing. I just get tired of settling down with somone, ( I think my shortest relationship was two years and that was back in highscool) just to find out they aren't at all what they presnted themself as in the beginning. I usually see the change within the first year, but believe I often stay longer in the hopes that they will return to being the person I fell for.
Once I realize they aren't going to change, I have stuck around longer just because I feel as though "Ok. I know this person at their best and their worst. I know what to expect out of them. If I start all over, I don't know what I'm in for." I usually only leave when it gets to the point where there is physical violence, or I feel I have stepped so far outside of myself in an effort to keep it together, that I can barely look at myself in the mirror.
I just feel that I am not getting any younger. I don't want to still be caught in this cycle till I die! I try to be selective, but as I said, people present themselves as one way in the beginning then turn out to be something totally different.
I am brutally honest and upfront. I feel it scares a lot of men off, but I don't mind because they are the ones there would have been a problem with down the line had I not put it all out on the table.
If I barely know you, why am I gonna lie to you or make excuses for my situation. It is exactly as I tell you it is, and if you know its something you can't deal with fine and well. I would much rather have someone who knows exactly where he stands and what to expect and willingly chooses to take the journey with me, then to lie or make excuses and catch someone off gaurd and find myself right back out looking.
I only want the same in return.
Tell me everything! Leave it up to me whether or not I can handle your situation. You could be pleasantly surprised and won't have the "Well what if she finds out" monkey on your back.
I don't usually make my posts this long, sorry. But this topic bothers me quite a bit. Thats why i posted it in the first place.
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| Apr 22, 2008 @ 1:41 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,346
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I don't want to still be caught in this cycle till I die! I try to be selective, but as I said, people present themselves as one way in the beginning then turn out to be something totally different.
I am brutally honest and upfront. I feel it scares a lot of men off, but I don't mind because they are the ones there would have been a problem with down the line had I not put it all out on the table.
If I barely know you, why am I gonna lie to you or make excuses for my situation. It is exactly as I tell you it is, and if you know its something you can't deal with fine and well. I would much rather have someone who knows exactly where he stands and what to expect and willingly chooses to take the journey with me, then to lie or make excuses and catch someone off gaurd and find myself right back out looking.
I only want the same in return.
Tell me everything! Leave it up to me whether or not I can handle your situation. You could be pleasantly surprised and won't have the "Well what if she finds out" monkey on your back.
 Makya, we think a lot alike!
[Edited on 4/22/2008 1:49 PM]
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| Apr 22, 2008 @ 2:19 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,102
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 Very well spoken Makya! For myself I feel the same way!! 
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| Apr 22, 2008 @ 5:34 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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love (in the "romantic/relationship" sense) is not a given - it's a misconception of our society to think of it as such
it's idealistic and fantasy to think of one person out there on this planet that is our soulmate, that completes us, and that there is one person for every person - this is delusional thinking. i say this from a purely logical and objective standpoint, not from a subjective one.
first let me say, i believe in love, i believe it can and does happen, it's one of many potentials and possibilities in a sea of potentials and possibilities - but by no means is it ever ... a given.
if you doubt the logic and objectivity of the statements presented above - look at the world around us, not just of today but the history of society. when has love ever been guaranteed, when has this concept of soulmate ever reigned supreme in this physical world??
people are lonely all the time. people who are inherently good people inside - still live and die lonely - i think to some degree - loneliness is just the tip of the suffering that can beget us. you can be the sweetest person in the world, but if you're not good looking enough - you won't be afforded the same opportunities as others. you can be a mean s.o.b. and be in relationship after relationship because you are blessed enough to have an attribute that attracts other people to you. it's not "you" - you're not better or prettier or smarter - you're just -face it- luckier! and that it what it is.
i believe there are other worlds beyond this physical existence on earth. i believe the emotions we feel in this life are merely shades of the true range of emotions we can feel when outside of the physical. have you ever had a dream and been terrified to the bone - more so then ever in the physical realm? have you ever had a dream in which you felt such a pure innocent sweet love (the stuff of faery tales) that you've never honestly felt on the physical plane? and so on.... i believe those feelings and emotions are very real - and we carry the memory of the reality of those emotions with us to the physical realm and thus, continue to search for it.
but while in this physical reality, love is now owed, not a given, not guaranteed, never had been, is not and well, i can't say if it ever will be or not...
again, just take a good hard HONEST look at the world around you and tell yourself that with all the pain and suffering and loneliness - that you really believe love, soulmate nonense of romantic love is a given
it's a dream, take the red pill and wake up from the dream ... remember - something feeling good or being comfortable or uncomfortable is not a basis for it existing in our reality or not ...
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| Apr 22, 2008 @ 6:39 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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Makya
Posts: 1,131
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first let me say, i believe in love, i believe it can and does happen, it's one of many potentials and possibilities in a sea of potentials and possibilities
That is the point. It is not a given. However, how many of us are willing to sit back, throw up our hands, and make the concious decision to turn our back on its possibility.
I likewise do not believe in "One true love", however, I do believe you can find someone who is everything you want in a mate.
The process of finding that person is what I find tiresome.
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| Apr 22, 2008 @ 7:02 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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finding love is such an individual thing so my following comments, at best, can only speak for myself of course
i don't believe there is one mate out there that would be everything i could want in a mate. i'm so varied in my interests that anyone i might find myself with, there would be things i'm glad to have found and aspects i would prefer not to have to deal with (call those last aspects - opportunities for growth, i suppose hehehe).
i have two views on love. on a deeper level - well shoot - i hope it happens to me personally. i'm not a social person or partier - so for me, my significant other is my best friend - and is the person i want to do most everything with (i know, this is so contradictory to western standards but oh well). i'm totally fine being alone, reading a book, playing a video game - as opposed to "having to have friends to hang out with" (such is the nature of a loner, i suppose) - but along those lines, i would so relish to have a romantic partner to share those times with - indeed.
however, and again - can only speak for myself - having been on the online dating sites for quite some time - i've grown ~~very~~ disillusioned with it all. I've seen first hand people play games (i.e. lie about their status or availabiltity or be very wishy washy in what they're looking for). I grow fatigued with my ~own personal perception~ of lack of civility. People having hundres of "friends" on myspace and tons of "favorites" on a dating site and considering those to be "real friends" - seems absurd to me but that's just me. People not replying when you take a moment to write a kind, thoughtful, articulate email to say hello. I never understood that and probably never will. I would rather scenario (a) where someone is not interested in me and takes a moment to email a courteous "thanks but no thanks" and at least, i can have faith in human civility then scenario (b) where someone might write me back, but overall ignores anyone else that they may not be interested in - because why would i want to get to know someone with so little respect for others anyhow.
It goes on and on, you might be in conversation w/someone and they simply "drop off" - no rythme or reason why - it's not worth their time to provide a reason.
so between the 99% of people that don't write me back (so i have no alternative but to conclude that i'm not desireable to that large percentile of the population in a dating scenario) - i am then forced to (quite logically - i believe) conclude that romantic dating is no longer in the cards for me - so i must take that approach to protect myself and my feelings.
so, in the one sense - there's that inner desire to still want something - but on the other sense - in knowing how futile the attempts at such have been - i will tend to block it off and accept what i see as the inevitable.
i can't say, but i imagine that for anyone that has written off love - they have similar stories, give or take - and it's not that they've truly written off love maybe - but more so are trying to protect themselves on the outside - just a guess...
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| Apr 22, 2008 @ 8:11 PM |
Ever get tired of looking for love? |
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Makya
Posts: 1,131
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you might be in conversation w/someone and they simply "drop off" - no rythme or reason why - it's not worth their time to provide a reason
I had that happen, recently, and it bothered me quite a bit at first, but that was before I read the other thread about 10 mistakes women make with internet dating.
Hopefully I won't make the same mistake again.
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