| Apr 13 @ 9:42 PM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
Moonwalk
Posts: 258
|
This guy was asking me to go out with him, and I said to him I have time on Wed, but he told to me he is going on a date.
I was asking him "why do you want to go out with me then since you have already a date".
I just do not understand him, I do not find him honest at all.
I was feeling bad because with this he showed me he does not want to go with me for what i am/. because I am special for him etc, but only to have a number there..... .
Please advice if there is another way to see the situation.
thank you!
|
|
  |
|
| Apr 13 @ 9:46 PM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,605
|
Yep. That is if you had done anything less then what you feel is correct for you, then ya done wrong. No matter what
|
| |
|
| Apr 13 @ 9:49 PM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
Moonwalk
Posts: 258
|
it was suppose to be our first time when we go out together
but i was not, and will be not ....
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 13 @ 9:53 PM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,605
|
 Moons. Sometimes it is best to be let down right away then after some serious investments. You learned right away that theres a morals issues. Not that its him right and you wrong or vica versa. That theres just a wrong in a view of a moral. Not similar. And thats totally ok to have spotted sooner then later.
|
| |
|
| Apr 13 @ 9:53 PM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
Makya
Posts: 1,131
|
Him telling you he had a date was honest  He may look at dating differently than you. Some people date several people till they find the one they want to go deeper with. Some people date one person at a time till they find one they want to go deeper with.
He's obviously a group dater.
You are a "one at a timer". Your dating styles may not be compatible and you may want to find someone to date who is also a "one at a timer".
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 13 @ 9:55 PM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,605
|
What Ma said. 
|
| |
|
| Apr 13 @ 10:36 PM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
Loreli
Posts: 20,293
|
Mak did say it well...
If you are looking to settle down...dating exclusively is probably what you want...
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 14 @ 2:11 PM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
Bluebonnet72
Posts: 2,761
|
Him telling you he had a date was honest I agree....and I would like to add that now you know or you can have an idea of whom is in front of you and you can act accordingly 
|
| |
|
| Apr 14 @ 2:31 PM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
DiamondRain
Posts: 4,898
|
I'm trying to figure out exactly what happened.
To me it looks like this...
1. A guy asked you if you would like to have a date with him.
2. You told him that you would like to go out with him and that Wed. would be a good day for you.
3. He told you that he could not go on Wed. because he already had a date for that day.
Is this correct?
If this is correct than I think you are confusing two different things.
It doesn't sound like he said he doesn't want to go on a date with you, he just said that he could not go on Wed because he already has a date for that day.
What you should do is let him know a few other days that would be good for you to go and ask if he can make it on one of those days instead.
Another thing you might be saying is that you expected him to "break" his date on Wed to go out with you instead. And you are disappointed that he did not.
That might be OK if you were both the kind of people who are only interested in dating one person at a time. But you cannot assume that he is like that.
Some people want to date only one person at a time, and others date more than one.
You should ask him if he will only be dating you or if he plans to date other women as well. If you are not comfortable with his answer, you should consider not dating him at all.
The fact that he is going on a date with someone else doesn't mean he doesn't like you, it just means he doesn't want to date ONLY you at this time.
There is a final possibility...
He may be willing to date you exclusively but since he ALREADY HAD this date for Wed prior to the time he asked you, he is being polite to the woman he made the date with and going through with it.
The best way to find out what's going on is to ask him what he is thinking.
.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 14 @ 2:39 PM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
willowy1
Posts: 4,881
|
I think you are overreacting. For one you have no idea what kind of date he has for Wednesday maybe he is taking his Mom out for dinner.
As far as honest goes he seemed to be straight up with you. Although he could of said he was busy Wed. how about Friday? Not sure about this special thing you got going about yourself. I say give him a chance. We are all special! Good luck!
|
| |
|
| Apr 14 @ 5:50 PM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
Moonwalk
Posts: 258
|
It is good to have your opinion.
he is asking me to go out with him since December, but i just didnt not feel I like to go out with him, and just know he convince me to say yes, but he could not do that they because of his other date.
During of our talk beside he told to me he has already a date, he told to me he is going on dates because is fun and things like this that made me to see in him anything but not a potential date
it is ok he is honest,
but just I do not feel like meeting him for date now.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 14 @ 6:09 PM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
Always_Striving
Posts: 7,595
|
He may see something he likes about you as well as seeing things that he likes about the other women as well. The whole point about dating is to compare one person against another, since none of us can read another person like a book we need to spend time getting to know them to assess if this one is way better to be with than the rest of them. Both women and men do this ALL THE TIME. Some people are willing to admit that they are dating others simultaneously and others will hide it.
There are some people that refuse to date more than one person at a time. This type may just decide to up and leave his/ her chosen one for better eye candy. Why? Because he/ she didn't explore the opportunity when he had the earlier chance and is now curious to see if this new woman/ person might be more interesting or exciting. What they really want to know is if ....This is the one, or I made a mistake by settling too soon. This same type can may also be obsessive and objectifying (meaning that they will deny you the opportunity to date others because they feel that they own you emotionally).
I hope that you figure it out.
Since you aren't married to this guy who is asking you on a date then you should date others simultaneously as well.
|
| |
|
| Apr 14 @ 6:28 PM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
Moonwalk
Posts: 258
|
Myself I date one person at a time.
I cannot focus on more persons,
and the life is busy I have to spend time with friends too not only with dating.
But I think at this age you have to know what person you would like to date, who who meets your main criteria, and by dating you will find more details about the person.
You will never meet and marry a perfect person, everyone has more or less many flaws but for you they are unique.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 14 @ 7:44 PM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
SunBabe
Posts: 12,251
|
going on dates because is fun
Personally, I think that's an IDEAL way to get to know someone...and a perfect way to see if the "dates" could lead to more, such as a relationship. That's what dating is supposed to be about, I thought. He -- and loads of people -- probably thinks it's more fun to do stuff together, with someone else, rather than do it alone.
I know I wouldn't mind having someone around to have some fun with (a guy or tw or three) -- that's not to say it'd be anything leading to a relationship (and definitely not the "sleeping together" stuff)...but going on that kind of "date" could be considered "hanging out" -- and is sure to be a lot more fun than going out with the ladies all the time. 
(Not that my sister isn't good company, but it's just not the same  )
|
| |
|
| Apr 14 @ 7:48 PM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
kissmya55
Posts: 290
|
But I think if you take the whole thought of 'date" out of your mind, you can have a really good time. No expectations, just enjoying each others company. No matter what, you both can have a wonderful time. And there is no uncomfortable moment at the end of the evening. 
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 14 @ 10:05 PM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
willowy1
Posts: 4,881
|
Moonwalk you sound very high maintenance. I think he dodged a bullet this time . Good luck on finding that man who will worship you Princess.
|
| |
|
| Apr 15 @ 10:28 AM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
DiamondRain
Posts: 4,898
|
I think that's too harsh willowy1.
I happen to be in the category of the type who only likes to date one woman at a time. I've tried juggling several at a time, and there's just no thrill in it for me. I enjoy focusing on one special person and making her the center of my attention.
I'm not being critical of those who "parallel date," but for me it dilutes my attention so much that I don't get the thrill I crave from any of them. I end up going from woman to woman and never really having the time I need to reflect on them and savor the relationship. Did I mention it can wear you out and make you crazy!? 
I'm a one woman man.
Consequently, I choose my dates very carefully. And I probably end up with fewer dates than someone who "dates around." (I mean that term nicely, there is nothing wrong with dating around.)
But I get that Moonwalk is saying that she doesn't want to date someone who is a parallel dater ... I understand how she feels, and it makes perfect sense for her.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 15 @ 11:32 AM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
catman602
Posts: 574
|
moon walk . here in wisconsin . I think IF the guy tells you he has a date with another person . He is A) lieing to you . B.) wants one thing . no relationship C. ) Is not that intrested . I go with one woman at a time . met 1 woman who was like me at first BUT cools things off . I have wanted a relationship for so long .
|
| |
|
| Apr 15 @ 2:04 PM |
Help - I do not understand
|
|
Moonwalk
Posts: 258
|
as i said he is asking me to go out with him since December, but i just didnt not feel I like to go out with him,
and this is because he always is saying "dress for me" or "smile for me", 'dance for me' etc only for him...I am horrified when I hear his request for me, everything only for him.
I just do not feel someone to make pressure on you like this.
and then when finally I agree to go out he said to me he has already another date (with a woman), and beside of this he told to me on Sat he is attending a event for singles and he was asking me to come there. he just turned me off.
I am single too and I would like to find someone but I am not that obsessives, there are many activities other than attending single events with the person who you want to date
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 15 @ 2:49 PM |
Help - I do not understand |
|
DiamondRain
Posts: 4,898
|
Sounds pretty clear that this is not the man for you. Better that you found out now than after you were already out with him.
|
| |
|
|