| Apr 23 @ 12:12 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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georgiapeach42
Posts: 310
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I do believe I will find love one day just not sure where he is . Maybe he is at "The Lakehouse" lol But I am at a good place in my life right now and other than being away from my son during the week while he goes to school, I am very happy. But like Hunt4love said in his blog, I miss the closeness and companionship of that special person in my life.
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| Apr 23 @ 1:06 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Bionic_Angel
Posts: 67
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Peach: You have the right attitude. I think it's important to not give up hope, believe there are great guys out there who will compliment your personality and make a good match - Please note, I didn't say "make you happy". I don't believe in "The One" I think this is limiting. There are millions of people out there why would only one of them be the one for us? Same goes for Mr. Right, no such thing, although there are plenty of Mr. Right Now's  - however, they're there for those of us who aren't quite ready to commit to someone. I'm sure if you continue to be independant and happy someone will come along and make all your Christmases at one - and you his! Keep the Faith and keep visiting this thread - it might not all appeal to you but so far it's a positive place to be. 
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| Apr 23 @ 10:18 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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SpiritEnergy
Posts: 16,987
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Hm, no idea why someone would think any of us are squabbling. I suppose I will mosy on off if that is what some think here.
As to the title ... someone had added something else in their posts and I deleted it once and then it was apparently readded so I deleted it again then made the comment. MD has told us before that that screws up the pages and people have a hard time opening the pages because of it.
See yall in the other threads. I don't party with people that think any of what was said is squabbling. And I can't hang with people that inject their fears into stuff either. Bye, yall.
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| Apr 24 @ 6:45 AM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Blondino
Posts: 4,265
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Don't let the negativity given to you by the world disempower you. Instead give to yourself that which empowers you." go sistas
Never look at a mountain and think ... How the hell will I climb that 
Break each challenging event .... or problem into small chunks and only look at one chunk at a time ... you focus on a little part and its not so daunting ....
small short term goals ....  step at a time
Did you know that dealing creatively with problems could be your way to developing intuition, healing relationships, empowering , evolving the brain to a new level and personal transformation?
[Edited on 4/24/2008 6:52 AM]
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| Apr 24 @ 5:46 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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Redwicket
Posts: 161
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Blondino, Excellent comment...so many give up before Even trying...
Another thing that I think is important it to Not compare yourself with others in any way,
shape or form. That way leads to discontentment. Instead Identify all of the Wonderful
things about yourself, think of the things that make you unique in this world...of all the
differences that you have made by simply being who you are. Work at Not being your
own Worst critic and become your own #1 Fan!
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| Apr 24 @ 7:51 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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May I remind you please that nothing can make you feel better about yourself than helping someone who needs help?
of all the differences that you have made by simply being who you are
Better yet, find more ways to make a difference...nothing builds confidence faster. Don't just think about being better than ever, practice it...it does a body good.
 
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| Apr 24 @ 8:13 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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mailorderannie
Posts: 5,923
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I want to be like her ^^^ when I grow up!
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| Apr 24 @ 9:10 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Redwicket
Posts: 161
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Ahhh, that's the beauty of it Annie, we are Always Growing!
Yep, helping others also reminds you of the good things in your life... When I am grateful
for all of the Wonderful, simple things in life I am able to share so much more...I Have
more to share.
It depends a lot on what you are focusing on...Ask yourself, is it the Positives or the
Negatives.
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| Apr 24 @ 9:14 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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meanjolene
Posts: 287
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Oh, it's the positives every time. I'm so thankful for everything, it's all good in the end.
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| Apr 25 @ 4:03 AM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Redwicket
Posts: 161
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I wrote this for a blog, but I thought I would post it here too...
I have at different times in my life been the Teacher, and at others the Student…
But, I have had only one Life Mentor. She died several years ago of Lou Gerig’s
disease, and though I miss her terribly I know she is at peace and that I will see
her again. Many people might have over looked her, she was as she put it
“a short round person”, and had a childlike voice with tiny little hands. But inside
this deceptive package dwelled the heart and soul of a Lion.
Mary Lynn always treated me with the respect of an equal, and gave me a slightly
higher status in her life than others who were merely friends. Her lessons took
many different forms…including being given books to read, sometimes it was teach
by example, and at others in story form which was my favorite. One morning over
coffee she announced that today she was going to tell me the secret of living a good
life…Wow, I was excited! But, Mary Lynn always took her time, she would not be rushed
…so finally when everything was just right she was ready, and this is the story she told.
When she was a young woman she stayed for a time at a commune, at the time of her
arrival someone was needed to take care of the children all day. So, she played games,
sang songs, did crafts and played on swings with the children all day. While she was doing
this she watched the other members of the commune going about their work…some tended
the gardens, others milked the goats and made cheese, and still others worked in the
kitchens baking bread. And, Mary Lynn felt guilty because all she did all day was play.
And so, at the next commune meeting when it was asked if anyone had anything to say,
she stood up and said that she wanted a job. It got really quiet, and everyone looked surprised
…the young man leading the meeting said “but you have a job, you look after the children”.
Mary Lynn said “But you don’t understand, All I do all day is play”. Then the other people
started to smile, and the young man said “Isn’t that the point? Everyone here has work that
they consider play, it’s the secret to a living a good life”.
I am not the storyteller that my Life’s Mentor was, but I hope that I did her tale justice.
I hope the recounting of it makes a difference in someone’s life it would make my beloved
short round person extremely happy! Ah yes, I can feel her smiling now…
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| Apr 25 @ 6:01 AM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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Blondino
Posts: 4,265
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I want to be like her ^^^ when I grow up! Big Shoes to step into .. she is a wise woman 
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| Apr 25 @ 9:19 AM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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William Saroyan said:
Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know.
Please, learn from my mistakes...!
Red...great story - to find the BEST job, find something you really love to do!
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| Apr 25 @ 9:58 AM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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Bionic_Angel
Posts: 67
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Yep, helping others also reminds you of the good things in your life...
We must remember not to help others to the detriment of ourselves though.
I have spent my whole life helping others, I believed it was my life's purpose, and maybe it still is. However, in time I neglected myself because my needs always came last - sometimes I ignored them altogether.
When I was married, my husband liked to spend money on luxuries for himself or the home (because he wanted them) - therefore, when a bill needed paying I'd often use money I'd been given as birthday or christmas gifts - I couldn't spend it on myself when I knew we had an outstanding bill to pay. I rarely went to the hairdresser - I bought a pair of hairdressing scissors and regularly cut my fringe (bangs) and just let the rest grow. Although he always wore the latest designer label clothes and trainers, I couldn't afford to buy new clothes so I bought second hand from charity shops - sometimes even for my kids. I wasn't poor, there was just never enough money to go around if the car broke down or an emergency cropped up - it caused arguments between us because I always had to sort it out when I'd not contributed to the problem. He always spent the money before he earned it and then I had to work part time, even though I wanted to be a stay at home Mum, just to make ends meet. We rarely had holidays and when we did I'd have to dig us out of debt afterwards. In short, I took care of him, the kids, our home, the cats, my extended family's and friend's needs - I had nothing left for me. No wonder I became depressed.
Depression has taught me I'm no good to anyone else unless I put my needs first. It's not selfish, it's Self First. I wouldn't be sitting here in plaster if I'd put myself first. I was unwell before my accident, I'd had a little time off, a day or two a week or so before and decided I'd have to get back to work because if I didn't work I didn't get paid, plus I hated letting my clients down because cover is rarely provided. I struggled at work the following week, I had to come home half way through one working day. I rescheduled my clients for another day and slept from 1.30pm right round until the 7am the next day. I felt better, I got up, I used up all my energy dashing from job to job in the house thinking I'd get as much done as I could before going to visit my client's home and doing their housework (elderly folk who can't do for themselves). My body had been telling me for weeks I needed to slow down but I wouldn't listen and I reckon it just had enough that day. My back went into painful spasm, even then I fought on, I had work to do, people who were relying on me. I tried to carry on with my day and the next thing I knew I'd passed out cold. I must have fallen awkwardly, hence the severe break in my ankle.
Now I can't work at all, those people who I thought relied on me so heavily will have to wait until someone else is available or go to another company, they'll cope. My children who I thought couldn't cope if I didn't work and bring home the money to support them are doing exactly as they did before - going to school, coming home and finding themselves something to eat - if they need something they go to the shop and get it. My Mother's life has changed little, except that she comes to make me lunch each day and now does my washing for me - she's delighted, it gives her something to do. My sister still goes to work, looks after her daughter and shares her successes and problems with me, as I share mine with her. My friends are still at the other end of the phone. Nothing's changed for them because I'm not able to help them. The world didn't come to a crashing halt because Deborah's suddenly unavailable.
I had to learn the hard way. I now have no job and there was no money coming in until I managed to sort some benefit out, which has taken almost a month to come through. I can't get from one side of the room to the other without using crutches or a wheelchair and it takes me an hour to get washed and dressed each morning in my usual fashion - after which I'm so tired I want to go back to bed. All the things I took for granted are being pointed out to me big time now, and all because I wouldn't listen.
It's very noble to help others but it should never be to the detriment of ourselves. It doesn't make us any more noble to suffer as a consequence and be a martyr.
I haven't written this to start a Pity Party, I don't feel at all sorry for myself. Sometimes I get frustrated but mostly I'm feeling positive that all the things I've put off doing can now come to fruition. No more procrastinating, no more putting off until tomorrow what I can do today. Sure, I'm having to take things slowly but I have a wealth of choices out there now. I will still be able to help people again in time but this time now is for me..... and about time too!
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| Apr 25 @ 10:25 AM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Blondino
Posts: 4,265
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Big Shoes to step into .. she is a wise woman
and she has big feet
You have to help yourself first so you are strong enough to help others .... otherwise you are no damned good to anyone
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| Apr 25 @ 4:09 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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No argument (xcept that size 9 for 5'7" ain't THAT big!) about needing to take care of yourself first, but I wasn't saying that you should always put yourself last...
We must remember not to help others to the detriment of ourselves though.
Moderation's generally a good idea.
No more procrastinating, no more putting off until tomorrow what I can do today. Sure, I'm having to take things slowly but I have a wealth of choices out there now. I will still be able to help people again in time but this time now is for me..... and about time too!
I'd never advise people to ignore themselves and put others first ALL the time, even their children. As Blondino said, you can't help others if you can't even help yourself! I'm a procrastinator by nature and training...it's amazing how many things can wait while I go out in the backyard and listen to the birds singing. That's just pure taking care of mental health. My point was that being totally self-centered (and I mean that literally) can be self-defeating. Sometimes we need to look outside ourselves, and (inserting qualifier this time) if we have the resources, use some of them for others. My own experience in that area has been that for everything I did for anyone else, it came back to me many times over - emotionally, physically, financially. Somehow the self help books usually seem to skip that part, and I've found it to be the biggest thing of all in making me happy.
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| Apr 25 @ 4:31 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,313
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I watched a show with Dr Dyer....he has a test for people (I started 2 days ago...anyone want to join? 
It is on compassion, and how we feel about ourselves after trying it for a month.
When you get up in the morning, before you do ANYTHING for yourself, do something that makes another feel special-note, call, kiss, etc. Heck-pet the dog!
But put others first. At the end of 30 days....do we feel better?
Gratitude, Love, Appreciation, compassion
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| Apr 25 @ 5:03 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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Redwicket
Posts: 161
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Is that Dr Wayne Dyer? He is an awesome speaker and on PBS quite oftern.
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| Apr 25 @ 5:08 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,313
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Yes...
I only know what I see of him on the Ellen show, but he seems pretty legit...
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| Apr 25 @ 7:10 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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I have a couple of his books too, though I tend to fall asleep before I get too far. I'm bad in the morning though...the absolute first thing is to head to the bathroom...THEN I'll kiss the dog. 
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| Apr 25 @ 7:22 PM |
The Believer Achievers Club |
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Redwicket
Posts: 161
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He's a Tao Master, and quite interesting, a good speaker...Haven't read any of his books
but I know that he has a lot of them...
"My belief is that the truth is a truth until you organize it, and then becomes a lie. I don't
think that Jesus was teaching Christianity, Jesus was teaching kindness, love, concern,
and peace. What I tell people is don't be Christian, be Christ like. Don't be Buddhist, be
Buddha like."
"Religion is orthodoxy, rules and historical scriptures maintained by people over long
periods of time. Generally people are raised to obey the customs and practices of that
religion without question. These are customs and expectations from outside the person
and do not fit my definition of spiritual."
Dr Wayne Dyer
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