| Apr 23, 2008 @ 12:54 AM |
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blueyes101
Posts: 12,914
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" Date " Why the hell not? What does sharing a table drinking coffee, beer or dinner have to do with it? All dating means is getting to know someone, so you go out, talk, and get to know more about them.
Now, playing hide the sausage is a little different, Meeting their family and friends is a huge step, but simply sharing thier company, sure, YOU DON"T HAVE TO SLEEP WITH THEM, LET ALONE MARRY THEM.
If things are very much up in the air........... ( ect, ect, ) Tell them to call you back when things have settled down.
If you look for red flags, you will always find one, if you don't look, you may never find them, why not sit down and talk and get to know them, and make an accurate assesment?
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| Apr 23, 2008 @ 12:56 AM |
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Makya
Posts: 1,131
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Well said. 
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| Apr 23, 2008 @ 1:10 AM |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
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I couldn't even hear him...I was looking at his new photo....
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| Apr 23, 2008 @ 1:29 AM |
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Makya
Posts: 1,131
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 Yep. I noticed that too 
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| Apr 23, 2008 @ 2:08 AM |
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boop321
Posts: 2
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seperated is kinda like incompatability, It covers alot of teritory. I would date someone seperated, at least till my questions where answered. And if I was seperated, Im sure not gonna sit at home. Because if hes not there with me to take care of bussiness, somebody else is gonna do it for him, or me, what ever comes first. And If my husband said" I want a seperation" what I would be hearing would be. Give me freedom so I can go screw around and see If I would be happier. and If not, I will come back. Heck yea I would date someone seperated,.
cause If I was seperated. Id be doing just exactly what he was. DATING....
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| Apr 23, 2008 @ 2:32 AM |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 15,002
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I am separated... have been for almost 4 years.. and yeah I might be draggin my feet just cause its such a PIA to REFILE once again  just because I still cant get a good address on him.. the courts here SUCK ... but anyone that knows me knows that I would never get back together with him and any drama is done and gone..guess I just haven't found any incentive to push it right now..  (can ya tell l HATE paperwork??) But heck maybe I will take care of it now .. I even got my taxes done on time this year   either way it has given me a chance to FIND myself again.. and not RUSH into anything.. that was my last mistake  and if a guy wont take time to get to know ME for ME then oh welllllll ... 
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| Apr 23, 2008 @ 3:16 AM |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,109
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Its a dead end down the road. I hate u turns.
Whats the price of moral and spiritual freedom?
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| Apr 28, 2008 @ 4:28 PM |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,593
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heck, part of my own divorced issue is I don't know if I should get involved, because of the religious values I was raised with...
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| Apr 28, 2008 @ 5:01 PM |
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marylou
Posts: 10,744
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....nothing wrong with having religious values GRUMBLE....dont let that scare you off. Like BECKY said.....if someone likes you......they will take the time to get to know you........and like you for yourself...for who you are. If they dont......then its better to let them go......that is my belief.
I was raised with religious values also.........but am not letting go of them for anyone. I dont ram them down other peoples throats......but we all have standards and values that we live by.......the thing is...to find someone with similar beliefs to yours.........OR to accept yours as part of who you are......and love you for being YOU.
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| Apr 28, 2008 @ 5:14 PM |
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katydid438
Posts: 8,283
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If anyone cares to be involved with me, they will learn the reason for my continued seperated marital status.
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| Apr 28, 2008 @ 5:17 PM |
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,335
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My feeling too, Katy 
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| Apr 28, 2008 @ 5:17 PM |
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Makya
Posts: 1,131
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but we all have standards and values that we live by
Which is, as always, absolutely fine. Its one thing for you to say I can not deal with someone who is seperated and either simply leave it at that, or elaborate on why that is your preference.
But to say that seeing that someone is separated throws up a red flag? Exactly what does this "red flag" tell you or other people about who this person is? 
For those who feels that seeing "separated" is a red flag, this is not a rhetorical question. I would honestly like to know what preconeived notions  they have when they see someone is seperated, and looking.
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| Apr 28, 2008 @ 6:20 PM |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,104
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Would you date someone that was merely separated and not yet divorced? Sure, why not? With a little luck maybe their decree will take years to perfect.
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| Apr 29, 2008 @ 3:01 PM |
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marylou
Posts: 10,744
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LOL 
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| Apr 29, 2008 @ 3:07 PM |
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Il_Uomo
Posts: 124
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..... I would honestly like to know what preconeived notions they have when they see someone is seperated, and looking.
for me.. most/ some.../ not all... (you choose what you like... ) people that are separated for less than a year are still floundering about like a fish out of water... their spouses might go off the deep end.. and attack anyone and everyone they remotely feel is thwarting their attempts of reconciliation.. the person themselves usually in a moment of weakness always returns to the spouse for a fling.. sexual..or just a date.. there is the constant issue of what the separation/ divorce brings into the new relationship.. and most importantly.. after it is all over... will the person want to date and keep their options open leaving you in the lurch..
it is an emotional roller coaster for all... and..I have not even touched on the children in the divorce... this is why most people look at a newly separated person as someone to be careful with.. ie: a red flag...
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| Apr 29, 2008 @ 3:10 PM |
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marylou
Posts: 10,744
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...I agree to a degree......that is true! however there are many who have been unhappy in the marriage for a while.....for whatever reason......and are just glad to GET OUT.
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| Apr 29, 2008 @ 4:28 PM |
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Makya
Posts: 1,131
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however there are many who have been unhappy in the marriage for a while.....for whatever reason......and are just glad to GET OUT.
Explains me perfectly.
I have said it before and will say it again, unless someone decided to take the time to get to know the whole story behind the separation, they couldn't possibly understand that going back even for a sexual fling or a date is simply not an option for me at all.
Not saying fall in love, just saying explore me. Not label me and immediately throw me by the wayside.
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| Apr 29, 2008 @ 4:34 PM |
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Il_Uomo
Posts: 124
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I have said it before and will say it again, unless someone decided to take the time to get to know the whole story behind the separation, they couldn't possibly understand
this is so very true... 
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| Apr 29, 2008 @ 4:39 PM |
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marylou
Posts: 10,744
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MAKYA......I can well understand what your saying!. The thing is...we all tend to put people in the same category.........instead of looking at individual cases. That seems to be the sad part of life. Like when someone has an asshole of a husband.........they get scared and think that everyone might be like that. When it is untrue. It definately pays to be cautious......but I believe we should get to know a person and judge them individually.......but the sad part is. So many lie and cheat.....they can tell you all sorts of stories about their exes........then next thing you know they dump the person they are with and go back to their wives....or husbands. I have known many cases like that. The sad thing is...those people spoil it for everyone else......but you are DEAD RIGHT.....we should get to know someone over a period of time. Many have come from terrible situations in their marriages.......and would never want to go back there for anything. Gosh life can really suck sometimes......
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| Apr 29, 2008 @ 5:08 PM |
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Makya
Posts: 1,131
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The sad thing is...those people spoil it for everyone else.
You said a mouthful sister
I don't want anybody prejudging me because i am separated any more than I want them prejudging me because i am black, or prejudging me because I am a woman.
Man, thats a triple whammy!
Separated Black Woman
Guess i might as well hang it up, grab a few hundred cats, and become the neighborhood crazy lady.
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