| Nov 7, 2005 @ 5:43 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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my preference is to utilize the dating site to meetup with like minded people and that perhaps, one of the people would be a match and something could lead to ... more ... Even if things dont turn out to be a romantic match, could be a friendship.
i find, in very general terms, the best fit is to write a few emails, perhaps exchange a couple of phone calls and then meetup and see if there is any chemistry - at whatever level, in person. No matter how many emails, phone conversations or whatnot that two people have, if there's no chemistry of any sort, the communication will never go beyond that first meeting. So it would seem illogical to invest an enormous amount of time with emails and phone calls without at least getting that initial one on one, for which there is no substitute.
what's your take? would you prefer to make the general introductions and then meet or would you prefer to just invest a large amount of time before meeting, even knowing that all of it can fall by the wayside upon that first meeting?
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 11:17 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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Strangely, I find sometimes if you chat/email for a long time, it only raises expectations. If you meet in person, it can seem even more awkward than if you had only made the "general introductions." There really IS no substitute for a meet and greet, and it all depends on what you are personally willing to invest.
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| Nov 7, 2005 @ 11:28 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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freestylegreek
Posts: 220
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I sometimes try to meet girls but they wanna wait and most girls i talk to we waited 4 years and after meeting me they ran away.
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| Nov 8, 2005 @ 11:20 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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summersquall
Posts: 518
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If you're talking with someone who lives overseas, unless you're already planning a vacation there I wouldn't hope on a plane after the first email. I would think a minimum of a couple moths would be needed to warrant such a trip and that would have to include phone calls, Cams, snail mail and any other communication medium you can think of.
If you're talking to someone who lives within driving distance, I would meet up as soon as is possible.
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| Nov 8, 2005 @ 11:26 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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orlandina
Posts: 9
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summersquall is right. from myself i will tell that chatting during the year or more is a time wasting-in a case ure looking for something serious...
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| Nov 8, 2005 @ 11:32 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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soulless_spirit
Posts: 444
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lol i invite anyone to come visit me ... hahaha just dont advise the stay lmao...
but being serious ... i have met people from the net yes in open to a cup of coffee ... even if we have chatted only 2-3 times nothing wrong with that as we both where just out to talk meet and ... hey we still converse ..as for traveling no ever ever again ... this time its the others persons turn if there is ever a this time ...
soulless
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| Nov 9, 2005 @ 11:46 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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introspective1
Posts: 236
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I agree with you 100% sirdidymus, in that after maybe a few e-mails and a phone conversation or two, the first meeting should be as soon as possible. There is just no substitute for that first meeting and keeps expectaions lower, as definitelydi has said also. You just do not know who you are talking to until you actually meet them. I think that meeting gives a sense of direction to any thoughts about furthering the relationship.
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| Nov 9, 2005 @ 10:14 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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ruready4me2luvu
Posts: 1,737
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If they are local then they got a few emails and about 3 phonecalls or Im not interested. I never played that waiting game. They eitehr wanted to meet or didnt, and I never have liked my time wasted on people who himhaw around. 
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| Nov 9, 2005 @ 11:31 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,370
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I can do the email thing (the written word is my medium), and the meeting thing but I really hate the phone call thing. I guess I give lousy phone... and I hate those moments of silence when you really don't have anything to talk about except what you've already talked about in the emails. I'd rather go right from email to coffee or lunch. I say - take a chance, I'll buy lunch if it will save me the torture of the phonecall. 
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| Nov 10, 2005 @ 7:15 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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It isn't real until you meet. Without chemistry, it is only friendship at best, and you can't tell if there is chemistry here in the land of sensory deprivation. Best to meet as soon as possible.
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| Nov 10, 2005 @ 7:18 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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Greystone1
Posts: 1,677
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And I don't travel any more. I have found that I can be disappointed locally.
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| Nov 10, 2005 @ 7:39 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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ruready4me2luvu
Posts: 1,737
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And I don't travel any more. I have found that I can be disappointed locally
How correct. It's alot cheaper to be insulted by the local disappointments
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| Nov 10, 2005 @ 7:26 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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fatchick
Posts: 15
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I believe its easier to meet, and then move on... why waste months of your time falling "in love" with a voice, or letters on a screen..then being disapointed, and/or discusted when you meet that person you said "i love you" to last night on the phone....
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| Nov 10, 2005 @ 8:52 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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jody675
Posts: 5
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I WOULD HAVE TO VENTURE A GUESS THAT YOU SHOULDN'T JUST GRAB THE FIRST PERSON THAT WINKS AT YOU. I AM NEW TO THIS BUT IT WOULD SEEM TO ME THAT YOU SHOULD BUILD UP A REPORE WITH THAT PERSON BEFORE COMMITTING. IT SEEMS LIKE I AM SEARCHING FOR AN ILLUSIVE GHOST. SOME PEOPLE THAT HAVE WRITTEN TO ME COME ON WAY TO STRONG, WHICH IS A TOTAL TURNOFF. HEY CASPER!!!!!!! ARE YOU OUT THERE????
I SUPPOSE THAT WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE MADE A CONNECTION WITH SOMEONE,
YOU WILL KNOW IT'S THE RIGHT TIME...... HAVE FUN !
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| Nov 10, 2005 @ 9:48 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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freestylegreek
Posts: 220
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Fatchick I had something like that happen to me when i met a girl 2 years later.
Execpt she was saying how sexy i was and how she really wanted to get to know me more when we met. So we met and she didnt find me sexy nor did she want get to know me better.
I think if your going to start saying things like that the person should really be into it and not just say something they dont mean.
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| Nov 10, 2005 @ 10:02 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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You have to keep in mind that sites that this are great tools for meeting new people, but that's all it is, a tool. The PC can't take the place of human contact for making a real romantic relationship. Yea, I know there are exceptions, but I wouldn't count on them.
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| Nov 10, 2005 @ 10:09 PM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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Palomino
Posts: 7,635
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LSU!! Great to see you here again! {{HUGS}}
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| Nov 11, 2005 @ 12:35 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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swingpup
Posts: 4,105
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In my opinion I prefer to do a one on one at say Perkins for an iced tea after the initial "hi I enjoyed your profile," etc., and a phone call or two. Why waste time if there isn't going to be a connection. If there is....cool take it from there and if not hopefully you've enjoyed an interesting conversation and the iced tea. Nothing ventured nothing gained. 
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| Nov 11, 2005 @ 12:49 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting?
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Xavier0777
Posts: 186
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I have met someone hours after we talked or a few months and a few it has been years, it all depends on the situation and what yours and their expectations are. Alot of people I meet now are local so a cup of joe and something local is cool. Though I do not see myself leaving state to see a gal after 3 days of "netting" 
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| Nov 11, 2005 @ 2:07 AM |
how long to wait before that first meeting? |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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I have done both. I've chatted for many months with women and then met and it's been a disaster, and I've met up after just a few chats and it's been great and/or a disaster. I think that with meeting people online it's important that you meet up quite soon or else there is the risk of both of you wasting your time. I know for sure that I will never become involved over a long period of time with a woman who I know only from the internet and/or phone.
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