| May 7 @ 12:43 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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fenderchick
Posts: 2,808
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Honestly, after going out with my friends a few times, I have seen that alot of guys my age, that I know anyway's don't have too much of their own. I'm not saying I want someone that I'm going to be with to be rich, far from it. You should at least have something to show for yourself.
Aren't I right? If someone has nothing and they are having a hard time I understand that. If someone has a full time job though, shouldn't they have some material possessions to show for it?
When your falling in love, I know you don't want to have to think of who owns what, but what if they don't own anything? I'm not saying material posessions are the break or make it in love but shouldn't you at least have a wrecked car. dvd player, cassette tape player, something?
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| May 7 @ 12:51 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,629
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Yep......know what you mean. I was seeing a guy for a while who had nothing. Didnt know it when i first went out with him. He had been previously married for 30 yrs..... He didnt have one cent....I ended up paying for many things when we went out. I could never work out whey he had absolutely zilch after all those years of marriage. Yet he had been on his own for a while also. You wonder what they do with their money. Even made a budget for him.......but he wasnt having any of it. So figured he didnt really want to help himself. So I can relate to how you are thinking.
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| May 7 @ 1:05 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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willowy1
Posts: 4,919
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I have never been overly materialistic. But I do have nice things~ aww the contradiction that is me! If I ever get to that point~ I would expect that my choice be self supporting. I would be more concerned about his morals and core values and ~maybe that little something extra. 
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| May 7 @ 1:07 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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fenderchick
Posts: 2,808
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See, this guy asked me out before, and I'm really not a bitch, but when we had went to his apt., me and my friends had went there for some drinks after the club, he didn't really have anything. Very small apt, hardly any furniture and no nothing. I told him no because I wasn't interested, not because he didn't have things, just because I wasn't interested.
...I'm not all about posessions, money and stuff, but it makes me wonder. If he doesn't own anything and has a decent job where does the money go? To things that are't really good? Like drugs, partying, etc., that's what I think anyway's.
It's not like he lives in a high rent apt., the whole thing was the size of my entry and living room.
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| May 7 @ 1:08 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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fenderchick
Posts: 2,808
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He didn't have a car or anything else either.
Now if you make my heart get all excited, that's great...But if everytime we want to do something it has to be at my house, has in watch a movie, listen to music, entertain?
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| May 7 @ 1:09 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,629
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Hi Willow....:)........actually.....that is how I felt also.....when I first knew he had nothing....it didnt worry me great deal.........but the person he was....wasnt very nice.....I found out later......so it wasnt just the money. After a while tho........I sensed he was after my money......so ended it. (I KNEW IT)......not such a nice person I discovered.
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| May 7 @ 1:09 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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Loreli
Posts: 20,313
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Unfortunately, loss of jobs for varying reasons, divorce, child support, failure to pay child support, demotion, downsizing, lawsuits (car accident, etc), illness can all affect it.
Give me a great guy keeping an apartment decently...if so affected.
It does happen to women of a "more than just out of Daddy's house" too!  
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| May 7 @ 1:11 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,629
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fender.....yep same here........had to do it all......pay for meals.....he spent weekends here......free meals........took me a while before I discovered I was being *used*....now I am more cautious.
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| May 7 @ 1:15 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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fenderchick
Posts: 2,808
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I know it happens to men and women. I've been in a bad spot before too. But I climbed out of it.
This guy was single for years. No kids. Working the same job for 7 yrs and all he had was a tv basically.
I think maybe his money went to illegal thingies!
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| May 7 @ 1:17 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,093
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Age plays a role. If you're speaking of a younger person who has not had time to accumulate assets, then maybe they have a bright future if they are a hard and ambitious worker. If you're considering a middle aged individual who is still broke living in his or her's mother's basement, is probably never going to improve their financial position.
Beings I'm a man, I here women complaints about past hubbies and BF... Seems to me that some gals just draw the dead beats - the no car, no license, no house, no brains, no teeth, and living with their parents types  ... ..
Now I know there are exceptions, such as mental illness, but laziness and ignorance doesn't cut it with me  JMO
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| May 7 @ 1:19 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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fenderchick
Posts: 2,808
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He was 35, that's enough time to have accumulated some things in life. 
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| May 7 @ 1:20 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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willowy1
Posts: 4,919
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Some men were married to good housekeepers. 
When a man starts all over he is not really that interested in decorating I suppose.
But you have a point if he has nothing at all to show for his life, he might have a drug or gambling addiction?
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| May 7 @ 1:20 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,093
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Run away as fast as you can 
Exactly Willow
Does he have a drivers license?
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| May 7 @ 1:24 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,629
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......the thing is....you dont always know them until you spend some time together....specially if they seem like a nice person at the start....you know that ppl go thru hardships....so you can feel kind'v sorry for them.....but then when you see them spending money on themselves and things they want.......and never so much spending 1c on you.........in any way........then the warning bells start to ring out......and eventually loud and clear.
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| May 7 @ 1:27 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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fenderchick
Posts: 2,808
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No license, no nothing...that's what I found so bizarre. The odd thing was when we were in high school we knew each other and used to date. Then as a young adult I knew him too. He has as much as he did when we were both 23-24 and used to hang out. Which was not much.
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| May 7 @ 1:29 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,093
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OK - then unless you want to be his care taker, keep looking JMO !!!
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| May 7 @ 1:29 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,609
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While I dont live on mamas basement, I still never been a Jones. I have what I like. And Like what I have. So far.
you dont always know them until you spend some time together hence sharing a life together. Please take what you can from us. And leave what you wish.
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| May 7 @ 1:35 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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fenderchick
Posts: 2,808
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I don't want to take care of anyone. I have a hard enough time taking care of myself,lol.
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| May 7 @ 1:36 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all?
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marylou
Posts: 10,629
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....dumb blonde here..lol....not quite sure what you mean BURNS???
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| May 7 @ 1:38 PM |
Are you willing to be the one with it all? |
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fenderchick
Posts: 2,808
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I think he wants us to take all the we can from him, like everything he owns 
Or maybe women he has been with have been like that, have they Burn's?
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