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| May 12 @ 9:49 AM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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pamdemonium
Posts: 14,546
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Why does this happen?
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| May 12 @ 9:50 AM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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happygrlok
Posts: 4,315
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maybe someone does not know what they really are looking for?
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| May 12 @ 9:56 AM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 16,194
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They are liers and full of crap.......and afraid of comittment....... 
and I'm not fond of roller coasters...
[Edited on 5/12/2008 9:57 AM]
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| May 12 @ 9:56 AM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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BeachCrete
Posts: 7,722
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Just my opinion from a guys POV...I think it's the challenge/thrill of wondering if they can actually get your attention and have you develop an attraction towards them. Then when or if that happens, they have fulfilled their need(completed that challenge) and find that the desire to capture your attention is no longer there....so they move on.
This goes for both sexes. 
It's happened to most all of us at one time or another 
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| May 12 @ 11:09 AM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 16,194
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I think you may be right Beach.........but it is cruel and unusual behavior......someone almost always gets hurt......especially when all communication is cut and no explanation is given....
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| May 12 @ 11:30 AM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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willowy1
Posts: 4,919
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Games pure and simple. 
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| May 12 @ 11:37 AM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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sonic07
Posts: 13
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I concur..^
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| May 12 @ 12:08 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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tahoma
Posts: 10,526
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dealing with something very similar to this myself...... 
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| May 12 @ 12:22 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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Jalon
Posts: 898
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Screw it all! Let's become nuns and monks!! 
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| May 12 @ 12:31 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,609
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Im called Father. Father Heart.
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| May 12 @ 12:51 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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SpiritEnergy
Posts: 16,988
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Come on, it is fear, pure and simple in MANY of the cases of com'ere and go away. It can be fear of getting hurt, getting trapped, stuck, fear of loss, fear of commitment, fear of your OWN self as in giving up too much of yourself, fear of sex, fear of pregnacy, mother/fatherhood....dadeedadeeda and so one and so on and ON.
And sometimes it is com'ere..ok that is a deal breaker, I know enough ..now go away. We have all these needs and wants and when you have had TOO much experience in relationships it is like...noooooo, I am not going there. Goodbye. Not again.
I am aware now, I now have healthy boundaries. This crosses those boundaries I now have ...go away. Because we grew and learned and are not quite in balance yet with all our new info we often PUSH and shove those we realize are not keepers FOR US back out of our energy fields. We feel it, recognize it and bang! OUT! And unfortunately we have to get closer to feel it. Sorry. 
maybe someone does not know what they really are looking for?
Well yeah, we have to get to know people and ours and others choices before we really have enough info to MAKE an informed choice. See above...
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| May 12 @ 12:59 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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Bluebonnet72
Posts: 2,761
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Just to catch the attention of the others...... 
or I hope that behind "Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away...." there is a personal deeper meaning 
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| May 12 @ 1:02 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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tahoma
Posts: 10,526
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Spirit... you have mail 
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| May 12 @ 1:29 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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SpiritEnergy
Posts: 16,988
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Ok, I am reminded of a book I 'read', Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. In that book it states that men have a cave and a rubberband. They go away and IF you don't chase them into their caves and confront them...(rag and nag, you know) then sometimes they will come back... AFTER processing. I have seen that and not just with men. I have the unabridged audio version of that book. It is pretty good.
The rubberband I think said that men stretch themselves out and have to let go and relax away then they CAN come back. Well, women too. So we have all these gender challenges now that that book is more like a menu to me and can go for either sex. It mosly tells you that you and your SO are not broken. It is normal behaviour for people to act those ways.
It has been a LONG time since I 'read' it so I doubt I am giving a good version. Do not get the abridged version if you get the audio. It sucks.
And then of course, there are the game players but you CAN learn to recognize the symptoms.
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| May 12 @ 2:03 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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InDaGenes
Posts: 38
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I have come to realize that the invitation extended is often accepted without ever really being sure of what the occassion is....if you come dressed in black tie to a bonfire on the beach....a not so subtle send off is bound to be the only thing you'll get off the menu....but if you really checked the fine print and you feel as if the party ended before you got to show ur stuff on the floor.....move on... find another gig...or better yet spend some time doing a soul freeing solo!!!!!!!!!!
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| May 12 @ 2:14 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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Spirit.. you are (imho...) talking about normal people ..( as you should be) ,,,but I have a feeling that Pam is talking about a real player who once he won ( her trust..heart... and all that..) .. he booked... and he did not care what he did or said to get her...nor what she had to go through to get his approval...
This goes back to the point of..until you meet... is it real for both parties...? and if they won't meet.. after crossing over the bridge of.. "forum fun" .. into "real life..."... then what is up with that...
So...Pammy's one and only.....Was it "getting to know the person better before the deal breaker??"... or..did you just run out of things to talk about because there was not a meeting of the minds.?..( this could be as simple as one party not bothering to put anything into the relationship or as complex as being constantly reminded of past events that was not good ...
...or did you just play her.. just because? You owe her an explanation ..as she is asking...
(and yes.. she already canceled before I wrote this...)
edited for.
and... there is the added dimension of... once she is ok with the break up... and back to her center.. you reel her back in...
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
Why does this happen?
.......
[Edited on 5/12/2008 2:24 PM]
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| May 12 @ 5:06 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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I don't think all of these people are necessarily players, though a good number of them could be. I've got a friend, 27 years of age, who's met a girl who is 19 that he's absolutely in love with. She's putting him through this kind of thing, but it's not because she's a player, it's because she knows he's older, wants a lifelong/serious commitment, and is freaked out by the notion of it because she's still at the age where she wants to have fun. I think a lot of the people that do this are either young chronologically or young in the mind and aren't completely sure of what they want out of their lives. I don't think they can really be blamed, per se, unless they're perfectly aware of what they are doing and are purposely toying with someone else.
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| May 12 @ 6:07 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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SpiritEnergy
Posts: 16,988
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GH, Pam goes in and out. She was gone when I first posted. Anyway, we won't know the particulars til she returns but perhaps it is all of the above?
LGQ, yes, that is another form of fear. Fear of commitment and possible regrets. Especially if people have conscious memory of bad divorces and not always their own divorce but someone they knew.
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| May 12 @ 8:39 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away....
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Nightowl001
Posts: 4,134
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Spirit, I think you hit at least one nail pretty squarely on the head, talking about "C'mere, c'mere.. Okay, THAT was a deal breaker. Go away now." That original "c'mere" may come from an attraction to a particular facet, and it is only by getting closer you can find out more about each other and discover that, "Ooops... maybe this won't go where I want.... Nope. Definitely won't. Been there, done that. Sorry."
I've already discovered there are some "code words" or phrases that once I hear them, sorry, but I'll definitely lose interest in chasing any more.
Sometimes, it's hard telling what it is that makes us "turn off." Okay, you read their profile. You chatted with them in the forums, and exchanged a couple of e-mails. Phone time! "Oh... My.... God!....She/He sounds like Carol Kane/Wally Cox!" Or they don't have a picture and send you one in private. And again, "Oh... My.. GOD!.... You could be a twin of my EX!" "I can't do this." It's not always a sign someone is a player, just because you stumble onto one of their "buttons."
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| May 12 @ 11:02 PM |
Com'ere, com'ere, com'ere...go away, go away, go away.... |
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signme
Posts: 9,581
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It doesn't even have to go as far as the phone call. It can happen through the forums or emails also. I know there are things in a lot of emails I get that are instant turn offs, even if I initiated the contact. But that's what makes us all unique and individual.
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of 4 pages
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< previous page | next page >
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