| May 17 @ 8:56 PM |
Love or Infatuation?
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Makya
Posts: 1,127
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How can you fall head over heels in love with a person you have never met? Could it be that you are just in love with who that person portrays themself to be, in love with their words, or just in love with the thought of being in love?
I believe you can fall in love with the person someone portrays themself to be and even fall in love with their words. But, until you spend some time with the person to find out if they are in RL who they portrayed themself to be, you can't really be in love with that person.
I believe you can be seriously infatuated with the person, and in love with the idea of them, but not actually in love with the person.
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| May 17 @ 9:15 PM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 8,610
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I guess no matter what. In the end it all up for one to decide for them self.
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| May 17 @ 9:17 PM |
Love or Infatuation?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 6,296
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I look at this internet romance thing as a triathlon
but instead of swimming, cycling, and running .. it is email, telephone and in person... notice I left out forum flirting...  I think of that as just the warm up...
if everything is a go in email.. I try to move on to the phone.. if that is still a go.. then one moves on to real life meeting... and that is where you really fall in love.. all the rest is just an infatuation...
and as we all know.. .....that infatuation can feel the same as and as much as the real thing... because....it is real... 
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| May 17 @ 9:33 PM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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Loreli
Posts: 19,237
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When I start talking to someon e on here, it is with "anticipation" of what it could become.
No infatuation, no head over heels....until we've spoken a lot, and met. 
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| May 17 @ 9:35 PM |
Love or Infatuation?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,911
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I don't try to define love for other people...only for myself.
My first love (I fell in love with him when I was 9) was a man that I've never met and still he is the one that I truly love...and I still haven't met him. People say I'm crazy and try to tell me what I'm really feeling, but in all honestly, I think that them trying to tell me what I am feeling is absurd. People's definitions of "love" and "in love" are all different.
Maybe people can fall in love over the internet...perhaps it doesn't involve physicality...love can transcend all of that...
Of course, love is better when two people are physically together, but that doesn't mean that physicality is a requirement for being in love.
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| May 17 @ 9:38 PM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 8,610
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I don't try to define love for other people Of course, love is better when two people are physically together, but that doesn't mean that physicality is a requirement for being in love. Ok how old are you again?
Wise beyond years.
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| May 17 @ 10:02 PM |
Love or Infatuation?
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equuisdancer
Posts: 234
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 on all of the above! If you're honest and truthful and it goes on and on ..no matter how far the miles apart and no matter how long it is until you can meet..I believe it can be real and lasting! At least I sure hope so! 
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| May 18 @ 12:19 PM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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Jalon
Posts: 768
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The age old question! I'll let ya know if I figure it out as this subject and I have a looong history.
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| May 18 @ 1:03 PM |
Love or Infatuation?
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 8,610
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Ill take both please.
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| May 26 @ 9:29 AM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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Makya
Posts: 1,127
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but instead of swimming, cycling, and running .. it is email, telephone and in person if everything is a go in email.. I try to move on to the phone.. if that is still a go.. then one moves on to real life meeting... and that is where you really fall in love
Thats pretty much how I figure it. If I fall in love with someone I have never had any real life interaction with, how can I be sure I love that person.
Kinda like you fall in love with a superstar singer or actor based on what they seem to be, only to meet them in person and find out how rude and obnoxious they truly are.
Maybe people can fall in love over the internet...perhaps it doesn't involve physicality...love can transcend all of that.
I can both agree and disagree with this statement. If the person truly is in real life exactly what they represent themselves to be online, then yes, you can fall in love with that person.
But, what percentage of people do you think represent honestly who they truly are online? If you are not who you represent yourself to be, than its not really you I'm falling in love with, but I'm falling in love with who you portray online.
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| May 26 @ 9:40 AM |
Love or Infatuation?
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,527
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1. I don't believe you can actually "love" someone that you have never even met in person. It's easy to think you are in love because you fill in the blanks with fantasy. And fantasy is deceptive by definition.
2. When it comes to the "romantic" kind of love, I'm not sure there is a difference between "true romantic love" and infatuation. "Romantic love" seems to only last for so long anyway in most relationships (if not all). Then it fades away maybe turning into another type of love that is more enduring.
So is there really any difference between infatuation and romantic love?
3. I once heard a saying: "At first girls are in love with their lovers, after that they are in love with love."
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| May 26 @ 9:50 AM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,278
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"Romantic love" seems to only last for so long anyway in most relationships (if not all). Then it fades away maybe turning into another type of love that is more enduring ...........DIAMOND......I am a great believer in this to be true. I have witnessed it many times........as many of my friends marriages have progressed over the years. They were *sooo wrapped* and for *sooo long*.....then they seemed to kind'v stroll along in the marriage.....and while still being happy......seemed more content than anything. Then in some cases the wives became ill.......and the men nursed them lovingly for years....until they died of cancer or leukemia or the like. NOW TO ME.....THAT IS REALLY *LOVE* in the greatest sense of the word. I also know some spouses who have left the marriage when one or the other has become unwell. If a man or woman looses their husband......to death. It tears them apart to the chore.....if they have loved deeply over many years.
Sometimes I wonder about ....both sexes.....after their spouses have died......they are sometimes out there after a few months looking for someone else......almost right away. I dont think I could ever do that........if I had been married for 30something years and loved someone all of that time. I cant understand how they can do it. But I wouldnt judge them for it.
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| May 26 @ 9:55 AM |
Love or Infatuation?
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Jalon
Posts: 768
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At first girls are in love with their lovers, after that they are in love with love .
I've found that those who are in love with love are the most dangerous kind as it's not really you they are seeking, but "love" (or the idea of) as their prize.
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| May 26 @ 10:06 AM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,527
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I think people are different in that respect Marylou.
Some can move on quickly even after a lot of pain. Others can't.
I think I fall into the latter category. It took me years after my dog died -- who was my best friend for 16 years -- to be ready to get another puppy. Some people go right out and get another dog right away. For me, memories die very hard. Each of us are different in this respect I think.
Want an extreme example of true love?
I have an uncle who is a famous medical scientist. His wife developed Multiple Sclerosis shortly after they had their third child. I think she was about 30 or so.
She became bed ridden and could not leave her bed for something like 30 years! She had to have constant medical care, had to have amputations, suffered all kinds of medical problems including brain issues and dementia.
In spite of my uncle's high powered career that required him to travel constantly to places all over the world, he took care of my aunt for all of those years with the most concerned loving attention you could imagine. He always made sure she had the very best of care, and spend every possible moment he could by her side comforting her until she finally passed away about 5 years ago.
He is still living and about 95 years old!
That is love my friend.
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| May 26 @ 10:42 AM |
Love or Infatuation?
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marylou
Posts: 10,278
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Then in some cases the wives became ill.......and the men nursed them lovingly for years....until they died of cancer or leukemia or the like. NOW TO ME.....THAT IS REALLY *LOVE* in the greatest sense of the word ..........so now you know the kind of love I was talking about.
Your uncle was a remarkable man.....and what he did was exceptional love. (think that is the type of love that comes from heaven.......the crucifixion type of love....)That some people both men and women would never understand.
Diamond.....you must feel just so proud of him!
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| Jun 20 @ 1:49 PM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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Makya
Posts: 1,127
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I've found that those who are in love with love are the most dangerous kind
But do they realize that this is the case. How many of them do you think realize they are just in love with the idea of being in love?
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| Jun 20 @ 1:51 PM |
Love or Infatuation?
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custis
Posts: 919
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"How can you fall head over heels in love with a person you have never met? "
I can't, although my crotch has tried to tell me differently a time or two.
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| Jun 20 @ 1:58 PM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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Makya
Posts: 1,127
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| Jun 20 @ 2:05 PM |
Love or Infatuation?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,911
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LOL the idea that love can be defined is ridiculous.
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| Jun 20 @ 2:22 PM |
Love or Infatuation? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,278
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............meeting people on line is like an introduction to what they say they are...........which may not necessarily be true. If you love someone on line by what they have told you about themselves........its the love coming from your own heart that your feeling......not the person you are chatting to. (this is my belief ONLY)..........its when you meet and spend time together.......that *indicates* what will happen next........but its in the *day to day* living that tells the whole story......not the horney feelings or the chemistry for the dating period or beyond. One might feel they love a person to death.........but the day to day living....day in and day out........can tell the whole story.
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