| May 31 @ 11:34 AM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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As most of you know, I have a thirteen year-old sister. She's got a lot of 12, 13, and 14 year old friends.
Many of them are dating guys much older than them or have crushes on guys much older than them. My sister's 12 year old friend *Jessi has a 17 year old boyfriend (soon to be 18), my sister's 14 year old friend *Anna has a boyfriend who just recently turned 17, and my sister's 14 year old friend *Lara has a crush on a boy who is 20.
The 20 year old boy, by the way, is more than happy to hang out with 12,13, and 14 year old girls and feel up on them, and my sister has been around him. Apparently I'm the only one who sees a problem with this.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Why would a junior or senior in high school, or a 20 year old man for that matter (I went to high school with this kid) have ANY interest whatsoever in a 12, 13, or 14 year old girl...and who else thinks this is completely disgusting and that these boys should be punished?
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| May 31 @ 12:12 PM |
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parrothead1234
Posts: 476
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That is really disturbing. I'm sure there are laws being broken.
Around here, they are pretty tough on those scenarios. To the extent of putting an 18 year old on the "sexual predator list" for getting his 17 year old girlfriend pregnant.
While that might seem a bit over zealous, she was technically a minor. While that may not have been the best application of the law, the spirit of the law was to prevent the scenario you've described LGQ.
Hopefully there are similar statutes in place in your area to combat these scenarios.
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| May 31 @ 12:18 PM |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,313
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Turn him in for lasciviuous acts with children...NOW. What's next? Or what else is going on others don't see?
Talk to the girls about "crushes" and being taken advantage of.
Keep them home if it doesn't stop. 
[Edited on 5/31/2008 12:42 PM]
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| May 31 @ 12:40 PM |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 3,814
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As a mother, I would be very concerned if that was my young teen daughter. There is only one reason a man wants to hang with underage girls...because they know they can persuade them to do anything they want. Young girls are very impressionable and easily manipulated.
Lip, you are right to be concerned about your sister and other young girls that date guys that much older. If they were in their 20's that would be different... but when a boy or man goes after an underage girl.. that is statutory rape..period!
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| May 31 @ 12:41 PM |
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,381
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it's very disturbing ..... it's not legal for even the 17 year old in most states .... the legal age of consent here is 16 other states 18 ... but there are sub sections ... like 17 yr olds can not " feel up" a 14 year old ... and the 20 yr old .. well thats just gross ....
unless your in Canada the lawa are different
wether you turn them in or put a stop through parents
the girls will be furious ...
at that age now a days it is becoming more common for girls that age to hang out with older men .. its disturbing .. but they are older mentaly and physically and would never fit in with most boys there age but they are to young ... and adore the attention the boys are giving them
at that age I knew everything , thought I was grown and saw nothing wrong with hanging out with men ...
but my mentality was much older ........................
I never slept with any of them ..... I got pregnant at 16 after having sex very few times .... I was done with highschool and in college its not ok
but
now I know a 14 yr old ... and three ... three of her class mates are pregnant ....
the pressures for young girls are great ... they just want to be liked .... they like the attention and still have that not me attitude .....
It's dangerous and more men are preying on that now .....
willing is not willing when you dont understand the magnitude of what your doing ... your still living in the now ....
have no idea what it really means to throw away school , have a child , get an std or contract hiv .... you know it all but do not understand ""{ THE REST OF YOURT LIFE}"" or that he doesnt really love you ....
you still feed into the bullshit men are just learning to throw at you
sex ed ... should include
All the ways men play on your nieveness , feelings, age and desire to be loved ....
but now girls tend to be having oral sex more to avoid having sex and the men are more than happy to comply ;... its frightening .... at 17 he is a senior the 12 is not even in highschool
its a growing trend for young girls to be " fast " as they say in the south
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| May 31 @ 12:48 PM |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 3,520
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...It is like, where are the parents, where is Dad, a brother, etc.?
...Dating and a crush are two different things. Nobody can help who has a crush on them.
...Regardless, except under certain conditions, such as related, guardian, etc., no crime is committed, unless there is sex, lewdness, coercion, etc. and the female is under the age of 13, or is 13 and the male is at least 4 years older.
...The 12 and 17 is absurd, the 14 and 17 is apparently legal and the 20 year old needs some jail time after some Dad breaks both of his arms.
...Here is a link to a condensed version, but the link is there for NJ laws:
Ney Jersey age of Consent
..."Punished?" ... unless I read the NJ statutes wrong, unless the 12 year old is having sex with the 17 year old, the law is not going to do anything. It is the parent's responsibility to protect their children and that includes controlling their children.
...Why is a young girl hanging around with older boys, or men anyway? Dad can only break so many legs, before he realizes the source of the problem is with controlling his own daughter... if she constantly puts herself into that position and environment, the supply of perps is endless.
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| May 31 @ 12:58 PM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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unless the 12 year old is having sex with the 17 year old
She's not...yet.
What becomes a dilemma for me is that if (when) they begin to have sex, I am obligated morally to tell someone, but I'd have to deal with the backlash from my sister....
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| May 31 @ 1:01 PM |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,959
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Why is a young girl hanging around with older boys, or men anyway? Dad can only break so many legs, before he realizes the source of the problem is with controlling his own daughter...
And frankly, the parents of the young men in question ought to be following a similar course of action. Why were the young men not taught about appropriate behavior and respect before now?
LGQ, your sister should not be allowed to hang out unsupervised with those friends. Meaning, a REAL adult present the whole time. No adult there, she can't go. Period. What you've described is a tragedy just waiting to happen and your instincts are spot-on.
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| May 31 @ 1:03 PM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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I've told my mother
My mother seems to believe that my sister will be able to "handle" herself and does not care that the 20-year old is there when she hangs out with these people. My sister also talks to him on the internet.
I may add that my father has virtually no decision-making power in my family.
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| May 31 @ 1:30 PM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,272
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She can not handle herself! She is not old enough to have to do that!!!
You should inform the guy, and your sister that YOU will not put up with it.
If you have to be the "wicked sister", then that is what you will be. After time, she will see that you were only protecting her.
Step in now.
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| May 31 @ 1:40 PM |
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poeticcougar
Posts: 204
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ok Skidelz mentioned Canadian laws are different. Ya it may be that our age of consent is 14 BUT it doesn't give ANYBODY that freedom to abuse it. IF you're in high school at 18 dating and having sex with a 14 year old (in your school) you can't be charged...but out of school LOOK OUT. but that's only IF the parents step in or someone else.
It's wrong on so many levels. I mean people blasted Jerry Lee Lewis in the 60s for dating his underage cousin. It was wrong back then and still is.
It's sad because these guys KNOW, they PREY on the teenage girls because there are things called "lipstick" and "rainbow" parties (look them up...disgusting) and girls trying to emulate Jamie Lynn Spears, etc... media saying sex sells no matter how old you are (think Miley Cyrus).
Your best bet is a heart to heart with your sister and if it doesn't work, take the 20 year old pervert aside and tear into him. I had to do that with my little sister in the 80s since my mom wouldn't.
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| May 31 @ 1:44 PM |
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,381
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My mother seems to believe that my sister will be able to "handle" herself and does not care that the 20-year old is there when she hangs out with these people. My sister also talks to him on the internet.
this is not ok
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| May 31 @ 1:52 PM |
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straighttalker
Posts: 24
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Jeesus are you people that sad as to ask a nobody behind a screen a personal question and take their answer as said lol. Don’t you know inside your heart what to do, if you don’t I suggest you go see a psychiatrist, or a witch doctor lol.
Stop asking invisible people to answer questions, and sort it out yourself.
This internet crap is turning people into robots, get a fukin life and start living it.
WHY
Only you can give urself the answer, and to ask idiots on here, your asking for trouble.
Who says the person agreeing with you aint a paedophile, eh EHHH
Wise up people!
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| May 31 @ 2:13 PM |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 3,520
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sciurusAnd frankly, the parents of the young men in question ought to be following a similar course of action. Why were the young men not taught about appropriate behavior and respect before now?
...Obviously, the 20 year old is beyond parental control and what was or wasn't instilled, does nothing for the girls in question. The prisons are full of perps, with an endless supply out there; actually of both genders.
========
...What was once socially devient in many aspects, has now become socially acceptable and a normality. As I read it, NJ law say it is alright for a one day less than 17 year old to be sexually active with a 13 year old. 
...We cannot depend upon the government, nor social acceptance to protect our children.
LGQ: What becomes a dilemma for me is that if (when) they begin to have sex, I am obligated morally to tell someone, but I'd have to deal with the backlash from my sister....
...She could simply deny it then... 
[Edited on 5/31/2008 2:15 PM]
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| May 31 @ 2:14 PM |
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,381
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oh your a troll .... y are you hopping from thread to thread making your self feel better ?
does your ego feel better now?
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| May 31 @ 2:45 PM |
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parrothead1234
Posts: 476
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but I'd have to deal with the backlash from my sister....
If it were me, that wouldn't even be a consideration. Sure, the backlash will be there - but so what? How will you feel if something terrible happens to her? You'd probably be kicking yourself & begging at a second chance to deal with the "backlash."
Unless their getting everything they want (and nothing they don't want,) 12 year olds are going to be unhappy. (Male or female.)
And your mother's attitude of "she can handle things"...........in this example......to me that's borders on child endangerment in my opinion.
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| May 31 @ 2:52 PM |
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,381
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oh i got snuck !! sorry gem not you
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| May 31 @ 6:04 PM |
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Ron9
Posts: 386
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Yes that is ..... not right.
It is kind of strange that just a few years - seems to make a difference.
When I was 17 my gf was 15. When I was 15 my bottom line was still 15 for the girl.
Maybe I was a late bloomer lol.
When I was under 15 - I thought all girls had ...... kooties.
I am STILL not all that sure they don't lol.
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| May 31 @ 6:13 PM |
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SKIDELZ
Posts: 1,381
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lol im 25 and will not date younger ... its like dating a little boy ... 18 , 19 .. omg yuk ... 23 ,, no ...
I was 13 , I did date an 18 yr old .for a week ... I had a 30yr old friend .. just friend .,... a 25 yr old friend a 27 year old ... many of my friends were 18 and up .... I didnt hang out with kids ... but for the most part until I hit 15 I dated within my age .. at 15 it went from18. to ... 19 ,,, to 20 , ... I got pregnant at 16 he was 20 i think .,... ill ask im not sure three or four years older than me ....but we were in the job corps ... also not a good place to send 16 yr old girls .. the age cap is 24-25 and no sepperation due to age .. and no rules ....
I was 18 with a 38 yr old ... then out of no where my sons dad ... I just turned 20 and he was 20 .... never again .... the last five years of my life have been hell even broken up ... he reminds me everyday as to why I do not date men my age
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| May 31 @ 6:59 PM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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straighttalker, MD is more like a cyber family/community and I feel comfortable asking how people feel about this situation.
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