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Dating felons


Jun 1, 2008 @ 12:07 AM Dating felons    
buni


Posts: 956
What do you all think about dating someone with a felony?(non violent)
And if a person has a felony, when would be a good time to tell others?
Would you yourself date someone with a felony?
Do you think non violent felons deserve love too?

Please no bashing..I am just curious.
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 12:19 AM Dating felons    
Nightowl001


Posts: 12,273
I don't automatically consider a past felony convication a sign that a person is irredeemable. It partly depends on what felony they committed, I suppose, and of course I have my personal prejudices. As far as a "good time to tell others," if it's not important that they know, why should the information be volunteered? I might date someone who had been convicted of a felony, depending on what felony they were convicted of. I can't make any blanket statement other than to say that I try not to hold a person's past against them to an undue extent. I'm more interested in how they behave now, within reason.
Having said all that, I believe mine will probably be an attitude shown to be held by a minority of people.
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 12:37 AM Dating felons    
signme


Posts: 16,688
((sigh)) I'm always in the minority with my opinions. Welcome to the club Night!
I do agree with you though. If it was not a serious crime, and is in the past, they have paid for it and have not repeated, what's the problem? Their behavior and character now is what matters. And it is no one else's business unless the person convicted of the crime decides to tell someone.
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 12:42 AM Dating felons    
sweet5red


Posts: 13,114
....................

[Edited on 6/1/2008 2:05 AM]
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 1:24 AM Dating felons    
nah12


Posts: 3,779
well i think one should tell and i would not want to date or become involved with a felon... main reason is felony offense usually involves one of the following, larceny, rape, homicide, forgery, counterfeiting, robbery, treason and etc.... they also involve someone doing more than a year incarcerated... so nope think i'll pass....

to each his own....
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 1:36 AM Dating felons    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 10,913
No, thanks Not my thing.
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 3:34 AM Dating felons    
capitalview


Posts: 577
It depends . No one is safe from becoming a felon - for violating traffic laws ,or for insider trading , for example. Would you turn down Martha Stewart? Or Vynona Rider?( for those who forgot - she was convicted for shoplifting ) Or proverbal Paris Hilton? I seriously doubt it
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 6:28 AM Dating felons    
Nightowl001


Posts: 12,273
Actually, Cap, I would turn down any of those three!
But, in my state, in my youth, mere possession of marijuana was a felony. Was someone my age picked up at a party rousting back in '76 with a joint? I hardly think that makes her a terrible person. Did her old man walk out on her and a new baby and she wrote over $200 worth of hot checks to survive for a couple of months? That would have been a felony in many states. What if you met someone, you really liked them, you got along, and at some point, they said, "Look. There's something I need to tell you. When I was in college, I was at a party and got really, really drunk. And I drove home. And on the way, I hit a car and the other driver died. I was convicted of negligent homicide and did 6 years. I used the time while I was in to get my marketing degree, and I haven't had a drink since. But I thought you should know."

Like I said, it depends to me on what felony was committed, the likelihood that they are pursuing a life of crime now, etc., etc. I'm not going to say that someone having been convicted of a felony in the past automatically rules them out as a partner for me. How many people are today sitting in jail wrongly convicted of felonies? We hear about death penalty cases being overturned, rape convictions overturned on DNA evidence. What if the person I'm interested in was convicted of a crime when the technology didn't exist that would have cleared them, but I believe them when they tell me they were wrongly convicted, but did their time and have never committed a crime since?
As far as telling someone, I would want to know if someone I was going to be personally involved with had been convicted of a felony. That wasn't what I meant when I said "Why volunteer the information?" My adult step-sons, for instance, don't need to be introduced to her as "This is my friend, X. We're thinking about getting married. By the way, she did time." If I invite my uncle Ralph to the wedding, I don't need to have it printed on the invitations. It would be a matter for my significant other and I to discuss and agree upon who to tell when. If she was uncomfortable with them not knowing but possibly finding out, and would feel better getting it out in the open, fine. If not, then that would probably be fine with me too.
As I say, I can't make a blanket statement about the matter. My reaction would be as individual as the individual I was dealing with. And that's my advice to Buni. If you and your significant other can live with the past, it's your decision. I wouldn't necessarily kick someone to the curb just because they made a mistake somewhere along the line.

[Edited on 6/1/2008 6:37 AM]
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 7:24 AM Dating felons    
jazzy73703


Posts: 65
My second husband had been to prison twice for burglary of a building. The fact that we broke up had absolutely nothing to do with this. He successfully completed his parole requirements, and to my knowledge hasn't gotten into any trouble sense. If the guy had been a murderer, a rapist, or sold drugs I think that would have been different. But this was a poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks that got involved into something stupid.
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 7:32 AM Dating felons    
oct_cat


Posts: 1,607
IMHO . . . it would all depend on the state, the date (of the felony) & the deed. Trying to be a person of little/no prejudice, I'd be willing to give the benefit of the doubt & learn about the "true" person first.
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 12:59 PM Dating felons    
swingpup


Posts: 3,097
For very specific professions to become involved with a felon is simply not cool. Not that it's right or wrong it's simply the nature of the beast. Most if not all in those particular professions understand that fact.

Personally I would not knowingly "date" or socialize with a felon. When meeting someone new I always ask point blank "have you ever been arrested"?
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 1:08 PM Dating felons    
buni


Posts: 956
Thank you all for your opinions.
I know that not all felons are not bad people and am glad to see that not everyone is so judgemental on this site.
Some people think that a felony automatically means horrible, violent crimes...and that is not true. Like was mentioned up there...sometimes it is insider trading or an innocent mistake..something that a person never thought would get them in trouble....(maybe your friend told you they wouldn't get mad if you signed their name on a paper, then later turned on you, therefore getting a felony for forgery)example.

People make mistakes, but that doesn't make them bad. And I know for a fact that a lot of people commit crimes every day that are much worse than some felons that have been charged...but they have never been caught.

Anyone else have opinions? I'd like to hear more.:)
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 1:10 PM Dating felons    
buni


Posts: 956
I do agree that if someone is in something like law enforcement that they should know right off if somene has commited crimes/is a felon.
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 1:11 PM Dating felons    
Silver1961


Posts: 1,726
With me ~ if this someone had more than one conviction, I would keep looking
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 1:26 PM Dating felons    
sweet5red


Posts: 13,114
People make mistakes, but that doesn't make them bad

exactly... no one is perfect..
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 1:34 PM Dating felons    
Gallows_Humor


Posts: 16,779
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expungement

if their conviction was not a big deal.. society already has a solution in place..

I would not date anyone who does illegal activities that could draw me into a legal bind ...just in dating them... otherwise... it's not my problem...

it is the persons actions that detemine mine.. not if ...they got caught...
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 1:41 PM Dating felons    
mailorderannie


Posts: 5,871
A friend and I had a conversation one day about everyone having a secret. I will bet that 99% of the people here have something about them that sounds bad on paper, but once you meet the person, you learn that it doesn't define them. I try to take a look at what this person has done with their life...what makes them the person they are today and what they have done with the lessons that have come their way and I base my decisions on those points rather than things that might end up in a negative column.

One thing I've learned about internet dating is, if I get judgemental and say I will NEVER date a particular type of person, they seem to magically appear on my doorstep the next day to make me eat my words. I've met some really good people this way, and have also been served some humble pie.
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 1:41 PM Dating felons    
mailorderannie


Posts: 5,871
My comments were so important, they posted twice!
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 2:05 PM Dating felons    
redhairNfreckles


Posts: 8,686
I have a "live and let live" nature about me, but even if I found the "right man" in every other way, and depending on the crime committed, I would still hesitate to date him. I have 2 closely related relatives in law enforcement (one is my son) and the poor guy wouldn't get one foot in the door!
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Jun 1, 2008 @ 3:28 PM Dating felons    
nah12


Posts: 3,779
OK lets stir this pot some more....

Oh yes some like to talk about some being judgmental and then they say no pointing fingers that they are not judgmental ... hmmm makes one wonder why is that? Also, are you not doing what you just spanked the other persons hand for? Oh it's different, Right.

So yes i'll stir the pot a little more here too.... it seems my judgmental attitude toward a felon is unjust per say and i should just let live... well folks i care not to be apart of someone else's life style that includes such behavior ... also if it was not such a bad thing they did why are they trying to hide it and keep it a little secret? Guess the ole saying "a leopard never changes it's spots" isn't true huh?

Oh heck i forgot even little ole insider trading doesn't hurt anyone and who cares if someone lied, cheated or schemed to make a few extra bucks... it's all in a honest days work right? Oh i forgot they didn't know they were doing anything wrong because they were just helping out a friend...Yeah right...

FYI... Alabama general punishment laws:
Misdemeanors:
Class A misdemeanor: Up to one (1) year imprisonment in the county or municipal jail, or a fine up to $2000, or both.

Class B misdemeanor: Up to six (6) months imprisonment in the county or municipal jail, or a fine up to $1000, or both.

Class C misdemeanor: Up to three (3) months imprisonment in the county or municipal jail, or both.

Felonies:

Class A Felonies: Not less than ten (10) years and not more than life or ninety-nine (99) years imprisonment in the state penitentiary and may include a fine not to exceed $20,000.

Class B Felonies: Not less than two (2) years and not more than twenty (20) years imprisonment in the state penitentiary, and may include a fine not to exceed $10,000.

Class C Felonies: Not less than one (1) year and one (1) day and not more than ten (10) years imprisonment in the state penitentiary, and may include a fine not to exceed $5,000.

There are additional minimum jail terms for certain acts such as selling drugs near schools or housing projects. Additionally, offering drugs to anyone under the age of eighteen (18) is a Class A felony and the jail time imposed cannot be suspended or probation granted.

Additionally, if a firearm or deadly weapon is used in the commission of a crime, the minimum sentence for a Class A felony is twenty (20) years in the state penitentiary. For a class B or C felony, the minimum sentence is ten (10) years in the state penitentiary.

For a capital murder conviction, the sentence is either life without parole or the death penalty in Alabama.
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