| Jun 15 @ 12:36 PM |
Supporting a work in progress
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jdc67
Posts: 63
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I noticed that very few people support a work in progress. i think it may be due to the complete lack of trust faith and patience many have
What i mean by a work in progress is NOT a promise with no actions but someone you can clearly see is doing something. They have acheived milestones. It can be major or perhaps minor.
Support doesnt have to mean I will do it for you or someone to push your or remind you. I mean just being there and being maybe a little encouragement when you struggle.
And for further clarification i am not talking about being a cheerleader either
What i mostly observe is people wanting a completed masterpiece.
Which does have it's advantages but at a higher cost then the work in progress
I'll give you an actual example in my life
This yr i decided to I would learn how to dance salsa. I went in alone in a crowd of experience to semi experienced people. It was a strugle because very few in fact I had met only 4 women in the first 3 months out of the many that i approach who were willing to dance with someone who was just learning. The others didnt
some were extremely rude i and i will not forget neither the rude or the the ones who were helpful.
so now i have the basics and can get a dance with i guess 60-70% percent of the women i ask. i will not of course ask the ones that were rude i would not be rude to them but they clarily showed what type of person they were.
What the 4 did was pass to me something that I will pass to any women who is just starting.
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| Jun 20 @ 12:26 AM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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capitalview
Posts: 675
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Look at it this way : if you are looking for a partner , do you state that you are willing to "teach her how to cook" , "put her through weight loss program" , etc. Or will you just post " should be slim and good cook"  
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| Jun 20 @ 12:52 AM |
Supporting a work in progress
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SyndilLucian
Posts: 1,046
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I would definitely be interested if a guy said he would teach me how to cook! Not every woman is a french chef in the kitchen, some of us are brown thumbs and blacken pans when it comes to cooking, and would love to find a great guy to learn from..
And if he wants to encourage me while I struggle with a weight loss program, I would be delighted as well. That would be preferable to what my ex used to do...
jmho...
everyone had to crawl before they walked, and walk before they could run.. we all start somewhere, bravo for the ladies who were willing to be the teachers!
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| Jun 21 @ 4:36 AM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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jdc67
Posts: 63
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Let me put it this way Who has ever struggled in something where most did not believed in you
Then you complete your goal.
How do you feel about those who stood by you ?
How do you feel about those who thought you would fail ?
Everyone likes the story of the the person who from the bottom made it to the top but who would be there through the journey who can say i was there every step of the way.
To me it is above what is normal to expect someone to support you at the start of you stuggle . But the value is more the words can describe.
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| Jun 21 @ 10:45 PM |
Supporting a work in progress
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tahoma
Posts: 10,526
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As my friends here know... I am a work in progress, learning all about myself and how to live again. My Love supports that 100% and encourages me in ways that only he can... with much love and plenty of humor so I don't take myself too seriously.
It speaks volumes about a person who can step up to help someone else who is learning something new 
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| Jun 21 @ 11:53 PM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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signme
Posts: 9,581
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I think at some point or other in our lives, we are all works in progress, some more than others. It's great when you have someone there to support you. If you don't, sometimes the work gets halted in the middle. I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have made here at MD because I know when I need it, support is just a post away!
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| Jun 22 @ 2:29 AM |
Supporting a work in progress
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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I wouldn't even qualify it - I think we're all works in progress, bar none. I think the ideal relationship is one where we learn from each other, and support each other, something I really haven't found in many relationships in my life - it's a pleasure being able to enjoy one now.
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| Jun 23 @ 10:00 PM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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newlife2006
Posts: 613
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Men typically want a partner who's already perfect and they usually outraged at the possibility that their partner might want them to change, so it's very unlikely that "work in progress" can happen in heterosexual relationships .
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| Jun 23 @ 10:20 PM |
Supporting a work in progress
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scotlove674
Posts: 68
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I find it amusing that men want ultimate perfection, but when it comes to them...stereotypically speaking...women are supposed to put up with their shortcomings. We aren't all Victoria Secret models. All I'm saying.
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| Jun 23 @ 11:13 PM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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jdc67
Posts: 63
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something else that is important to add to a work in progress is that you have to first have faith in yourself.
only those closest to me know of some of my struggles for the most part I went through it on my own
One example is a few yrs back I weighed 240lbs at around 5'8 i was big. I was treated like a leper. It was horrible and I fell into a deep depression. very few people treated me well
On my own I loss the weight I was treated no different then those who stood by me.
I do look better and one of the things I like to do is go salsa dancing.. When I go i make it a point that if I do see a women whether larger or maybe older that others pass by like they were furnature. I dance with them nothing more because i remember how I felt If i could do something simple to make them feel human I will do it
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| Jun 24 @ 4:33 PM |
Supporting a work in progress
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Loreli
Posts: 20,313
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Sign and Heaven said what I feel...
we are ALL always works in progress! 
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| Jun 24 @ 6:49 PM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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emptypages
Posts: 1,003
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scotlove, what you said could easily apply vice/ versa.
Not all guys look like movie stars with big bank accounts. 
[Edited on 6/24/2008 6:51 PM]
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| Jun 24 @ 6:50 PM |
Supporting a work in progress
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LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,822
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Aren't you Mr. Posative! 
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| Jun 24 @ 6:52 PM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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emptypages
Posts: 1,003
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yea! 
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| Jun 24 @ 7:29 PM |
Supporting a work in progress
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SyndilLucian
Posts: 1,046
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For me, it would speak volumes if someone I met was willing to stand by me through my 'work in progress'. That would say more to me about how he felt about me then any words he might be saying.. jmo
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| Jun 24 @ 7:35 PM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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Automotor
Posts: 258
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It's all about supporting the one you love in what they do. I want a babe that's going to buy me some brews when we go out, not tell me I should quit drinking!
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| Jun 24 @ 10:32 PM |
Supporting a work in progress
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SyndilLucian
Posts: 1,046
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If your liver is in danger, perhaps she is asking you to stop so you will be with her for many more years... "not a sermon, just a thought"
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| Jun 24 @ 11:01 PM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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bardnsage
Posts: 420
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On some things, I do look for the completed product. Self Confidence, Independance, Sense of Money, etc. I don't really want to teach these things to someone new,,,,I have children for that.
On other things,,,,,I don't need a completed product, because the teaching is half the fun. She doesn't need to know how to cook, only a willingness to learn. I don't need to know how to do needlepoint,,,, only have a willingness to share, and learn.
That's what makes the journey grand,,,,, the sharing,,,, the learning,,,, the growing.
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| Jun 24 @ 11:42 PM |
Supporting a work in progress
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,333
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That's what makes the journey grand,,,,, the sharing,,,, the learning,,,, the growing.
 
Yep, that's what it's all about...ya put your right foot in, you take your right foot out, you put your right foot in, then stick it in your mouth...oops, never mind.
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| Jun 25 @ 10:00 AM |
Supporting a work in progress |
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custis
Posts: 1,332
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"We aren't all Victoria Secret models. All I'm saying."
If you are fat, there is no one to blame but yourself. If you feel men do not like you because of your weight, all you have to do is stop eating doughnuts. I am heavy myself, better than 200 lbs, and some women will not date me because of this. I do not hold it against them. I could get rid of the lard any time I want to. It just involves self-discipline. The reason I have not done so is that there are plenty of women who will date me just the way I am. I myself do not like skinny women. To put it bluntly, women with some extra weight are much better lovers. Interestingly enough, I have noticed that when heavy women lose their weight and become gorgeous barbie dolls, they have a tendency to become just as picky as the men they were formerly bitching about.
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