| Jun 17 @ 9:09 PM |
I am butt hurt!
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madamegeek
Posts: 1,507
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I would say the only "tongue in cheek" involved was between Dick and Jane after Willowy - strong woman that she is - left them to reap the logical consequences of their choices.
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| Jun 17 @ 9:11 PM |
I am butt hurt! |
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capitalview
Posts: 675
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No tong-in-cheek here,sign. True friend would have stayed and prevented any cheating from happening. That's what friends do - they SAVE their friends , even from their own mistakes. The fact that she left seems more like envy than anything else.
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| Jun 17 @ 9:21 PM |
I am butt hurt!
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 3,814
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True friend would have stayed and prevented any cheating from happening
What a load of crap!! How do you know that they havent already had sex?? And the cheating started when they met and was flirting with each other in front of Willow....so she is not responsible for what they choose to do... and Willow has no need to be envious, she is an attractive woman herself.
You cannot save friends from making mistakes..you can only support and love them and offer your best advice and hope they make the right choices. 
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| Jun 17 @ 9:29 PM |
I am butt hurt! |
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signme
Posts: 9,581
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Capital a true friend would bow out like Willowy did. There is no need for her to get in the middle of something like that. And since she has been friends with both husband and wife, it would be like making her pick one over the other. No way! I'm sorry I just can't follow your "logic" on this at all.
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| Jun 17 @ 9:30 PM |
I am butt hurt!
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horizon000
Posts: 939
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What the......
Willow was invited along as an alibi. That's all there is to it. Not a good friend move in my eyes. Whether she stayed the whole night or went home early is of little consequence. A deception was put in place and it would have played out regardless. Learning this behavior from the husband? Wrecked the marriage?
What a load of bullship. Not every man is a cheating, lying whorehound. You do not know these people, so how can you make a ridiculous comment like that? Envy? C'mon. Leaving is a normal human reaction from someone that does not to be a part of something that is personally considered WRONG.the marriage falls apart, it has very little to do with Willow. It seems that the cracks were there a long time before this "night out". You can't help those who don't want help. Bad advice on your part I think.
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| Jun 17 @ 11:35 PM |
I am butt hurt! |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,313
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I would step back from both, to protect your heart.
Let them sort it out....and hopefully they fix it
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| Jun 18 @ 12:17 AM |
I am butt hurt!
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sweet5red
Posts: 8,128
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Not wise behavior, in my opinion.
I would have left too.... Letting someone cheat or condoning it is just wrong.. her heart was broken because of her friends behavior..    sorry but i think cap's view is broken.. on that one..Sweet N Louisiana
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| Jun 18 @ 12:54 AM |
I am butt hurt! |
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SyndilLucian
Posts: 1,046
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Given the situation you described, you did the only reasonable thing. 'Jane' implied to her husband that it was a girl's night out, and then sat flirting with some man. You left because the situation made you uncomfortable (as you are/were John's friend too), Personally, I think she is a poor example of a friend for being upset with you because you did not 'back her up' when her husband called you to ask where she was.
I do understand the feeling of guilt you have over not telling John what you suspected, or observed. (I do disagree with Night on this, as their behavior seemed to make it fairly clear what was going on.)
It should not be your place to have to inform John of Jane's behavior that night. If she chose to lie to him about where she was, and whom she was with (and turned off her cell  ), then she has no one to blame but herself for whatever occurs as a result. You are not at fault and not to blame, she is for making foolish choices.
As far as how Capital feels about this, I am not sure if this was done to him, or by him, but I sensed a bit of bitterness in his response... just my opinion, though.
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| Jun 18 @ 4:28 AM |
I am butt hurt!
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custis
Posts: 1,332
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You handled it just fine. Jane was totally unscrupulous to put you into that position in the first place. To put it succinctly, Jane is a pig.
As for John, he does not need to be told anything since it is clear that he already has his suspicions anyway. Just back away from the whole thing and find friends who have some integrity and decency.
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| Jun 18 @ 4:30 AM |
I am butt hurt! |
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custis
Posts: 1,332
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"True friend would have stayed and prevented any cheating from happening. That's what friends do - "
Nonsense. It would only have gotten her more deeply involved in a situation she does not need to be in at all. If Jane is bent on cheating, she is going to do it one way or another. If not that night, then another night. In fact, I would be willing to bet that Jane has been cheating all along.
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| Jun 18 @ 4:13 PM |
I am butt hurt!
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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No tong-in-cheek here,sign. True friend would have stayed and prevented any cheating from happening. That's what friends do - they SAVE their friends , even from their own mistakes. The fact that she left seems more like envy than anything else.
....everyone is entitled to their opinions.. even if they are wrong...
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| Jun 18 @ 5:02 PM |
I am butt hurt! |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,251
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True friend would have stayed and prevented any cheating from happening. That's what friends do - they SAVE their friends , even from their own mistakes. The fact that she left seems more like envy than anything else.
True friends are NOT put into that kind of position by other true friends. 
It was Jane's responsibility to go home in a timely manner -- where she belongs.
"Envy"? Why would Willowy envy anyone who was potentially cuckolding her other good friend John?
Her actions were exactly correct...at least SHE handled it with grace and class, despite being set up and used as a "cover" by her "friend".
Jane is the one who made trouble for herself, not Willowy. 
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| Jun 18 @ 5:57 PM |
I am butt hurt!
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willowy1
Posts: 4,919
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Aww you good people make me feel so much better thank you! and to the man who shall remain nameless~I would like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ....... 
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| Jun 18 @ 7:22 PM |
I am butt hurt! |
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signme
Posts: 9,581
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| Jun 18 @ 7:35 PM |
I am butt hurt!
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willowy1
Posts: 4,919
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The fact that she left seems more like envy than anything else. Now you almost got my hackles up!
Here is the deal! It hurt me to witness that kind of behaviour. She showed a terrible lack of respect for our friendship.
Just some background: when you become suddenly single like I did some of your married girlfriends might stop inviting you to their get togethers. And this is how Jane was towards me. But I was in mourning and I guess it just didn't matter. I do have a strong support group in place by the way! So I was really happy when she asked me to meet her.
Envious? That is crazy! I would give anything in this world to have my husband with me. Jane is just throwing a good man aside.
Not sure if it is because she lost a great deal of weight. I have been wondering about this the last few days. I am sure she is getting more attention now. I have also wondered if I should call her and set up a time that we can sit down and talk.
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| Jun 18 @ 8:13 PM |
I am butt hurt! |
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jaybird777
Posts: 1,041
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Envious? That is crazy! I would give anything in this world to have my husband with me.
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| Jun 18 @ 11:05 PM |
I am butt hurt!
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emptypages
Posts: 1,003
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she shouldn't have invited you over in the first place if she was going to do something dumb like that. If she got upset with you for her own stupidity, you don't need her as a friend.
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| Jun 19 @ 12:00 AM |
I am butt hurt! |
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capitalview
Posts: 675
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LOL...wilow ,if the only opinion you are willing to hear is the one of your own, it hardly makes sense to start a forum thread. I strongly suggest that you learn how to discuss things in decent manner before you "go public". 
Back to the topic in question : it's obvious that you were invited as a chaperone ( it's also obvious that you are not familiar with the duty of chaperone , which comes from the notion that being married doesn't mean that a person is not supposed to talk to the members of the opposite gender , it only means that they are not supposed to be doing so in private - for their spouse's peace of mind . You betrayed your friend's trust , you left her alone with some guy and thus made it possible for her spouse to exhaust his imagination, ie. you hurt both of them. If you stayed with your friend , the husband would have known that no adultery was committed ( that is - unless he knows you are into threesomes . Then again - maybe this was exactly the reason you left , i.e. your "friend" John knew for sure that you are into threesomes , so he won't trust your testimony anyway  )
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| Jun 19 @ 1:22 AM |
I am butt hurt!
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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is it that time of the month for you CV?
the op...where Willow stated...
This is more of a vent than a question. I will try to condense as best as I can.
to where you came up with this?
LOL...wilow ,if the only opinion you are willing to hear is the one of your own, it hardly makes sense to start a forum thread. I strongly suggest that you learn how to discuss things in decent manner before you "go public". but what surprises me is your adding this on the end.. like you are trying to get into her panties with your charm?
then you state..
it's obvious that you were invited as a chaperone ( it's also obvious that you are not familiar with the duty of chaperone
no it was obvious that she was invited to meet with a group from her friends workplace ...as she wrote..
Jane asked me to meet up for happy hour I was excited about catching up. I assumed that it would be Jane AND John, but she said no, a few friends from work.
CV..the rest of your post is just garbage that you came up with, based on your misunderstanding the OP..
and you are still wrong
[Edited on 6/19/2008 1:29 AM]
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| Jun 19 @ 1:46 AM |
I am butt hurt! |
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signme
Posts: 9,581
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Capital Willowy said that after her husband passed away most of their friends more or less dropped her, you know, an uneven number type thing. So when Jane called her to get together she was happy about it. Jane never mentioned that someone else would be there. Willowy thought Jane wanted to try to regain the friendship that had been put on hold. Well that was NOT the reason. Jane wanted to use Willowy in a manner that put her between Jane and Jane's husband. That made Willowy uncomfortable and she decided to leave.
Now whether the marriage breaks up or not, has nothing to do with Willowy. It has everything to do with Jane sneaking around behind her husband's back and the husband already having suspicions that something is going on.
Capital leave Willowy out of it and then explain it to us.
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