| Jun 28 @ 10:40 AM |
literal vs understood
|
|
jdc67
Posts: 41
|
This is about how we deal with our literal or understood opposites.
What I mean by literal are those people who literally mean what they. They say " hey I'll see you around" and you will see them around.
What I mean by understood are those people who may say something but it understood not to be taken literally "yah give me a call we should get together and see a movie sometime" but they really are expecting you to call there just saying that
We all fall at different time at the literal or understood but we tend to lean more towards one or the other
I fall under the literal and it is very hard for me to undertand the understood. But this is a world of very few literals
So how do people who fall under the undertood deal with the literal.
I think that could help me in better understanding how that part of society works
|
|
  |
|
| Jun 28 @ 10:58 AM |
literal vs understood |
|
Gallows_Humor
Posts: 5,802
|
there are no absolutes (except in vodka.. `http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absolut_Vodka#Varieties.)
it is all about context...it always was..always will be... 
|
| |
|
| Jun 28 @ 12:56 PM |
literal vs understood
|
|
Queenofcups
Posts: 19
|
Sorta Like when I tell my teenagers " do it again and I will kill you" 
I don't really mean I will kill them 
When you are in a relationship especially a newer one and neither party is sure where the other one is coming from you seem to hang onto words more. Like when he /she says " I will talk to you later" we sit and think " is he really going to call? (normal reaction).
[/QUOTE]I think that could help me in better understanding how that part of society works [QUOTE]
Have you been out of the loop for a while?
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 28 @ 2:09 PM |
literal vs understood |
|
jamminjerry
Posts: 3,607
|
i think this translates into "the games people play". if your values are truth and honesty, you will definitely struggle with "todays woman". she has been classically conditioned from the sandbox to respond in a certain way. but then again has not also the male of our species! LOL each person of truth and integrity must sacrifice some or all of these values to score in the bedroom. or back seat! LOL the bible is the best example of literal and interpetive understanding. should we take the parables literally, we would be forever confused. LOL but the simians take the revelations literally and the words of Jesus figuritivly! i ramble! LOL this game is about communication and not about poems and drama. talk! talk until you are blue in the face. only then can you step back and say "I tried". we be jammin 
|
| |
|
| Jun 28 @ 3:44 PM |
literal vs understood
|
|
jdc67
Posts: 41
|
have i been out of the loop..
Yes i think maybe i have as far as dating is concerned and really i have no clue at all in this.
I am however aware that most are not as well forthcoming..
It just makes it more unlikely that i would ever seek anything past dating with them..
And it all seem so arbitrary and very stupid..
Like i have never meet a women online that did not play the answering machine game on the first call not even if your chatting and your about to call ask if this is a good time she says yes you call get the answering machine and its not like you get a call back the same day but later in the week or your playing phone tag..
I dont know what give me a call means
whats your plan this weekend let get togther means.
I have had in person converation saying how much She thought we had in common saying we should get together but never does..
for me someone says call me i call someone says let get together this weekend i ask them out..
but thats not how it work at all.. And it is VERY confusing..
How in the heck does anyone think this is normal.. But then to top it of you hear complaints from people you KNOW first hand that do the same thing..
Oh and the more claim to be or looking for honestly or ads that say just looking are ALWAYS more complex and dishonest then those that either dont mention or have long list of must haves.
you end up really with a collection of waterdown relationships. I would rather have a class of house wine then and expensive bottle half watered down.
then of course the extreme case is when they piss in you glass and call it chardonday
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 28 @ 3:56 PM |
literal vs understood |
|
Queenofcups
Posts: 19
|
Those phrases sound like things a younger person would say. I didn't look at your profile so I don't know what your age is or what age you are dating. But it could be an age thing.
Us older gals (well older than 20) we not only ask you when you will call we want your response notorized 
Good Luck!!
|
| |
|
| Jun 28 @ 4:20 PM |
literal vs understood
|
|
jdc67
Posts: 41
|
omg queenofcups you now got me started on something else age and dating
I am 40 I would rather have be in relationship with a woman 28maybe-38ish..
But that is the age that gives me this crap..I rarely find it in 18-25 ( but what the heck and i going to do there for a serious relationship ) or in 45 and older and again what do I do there..
And we can continue on with the age subject What is the deal with older men wanting to only date younger women or older women wanting to date younger men . And there are A LOT of them...The most common reason I have heard is well we seem to get along better..I will tell you from personal experience that you may has somethings in common but it wil be less the likely you would the a true match..
In fairnes I can see how some people get sort of stuck with this. i have seen women in there 40's who look like they are in there 30's. The are most likely to attract men in there 20's and 30's..
I do not look like I am 40 no one has ever guessed my age. and I know its not BS either when your talking to a woman the age subject comes up a she backpeddle rather quickly
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 28 @ 5:51 PM |
literal vs understood |
|
Queenofcups
Posts: 19
|
I always think you are better off playing with someone your own age :)
There are a lot of reasons men like younger woman. It makes them feel younger, it builds up their egos or they feel they can control them . Then sometimes people just happen to fall for one another and they can't even explain it.
I like older men. Not much older then myself but a few years. I think experience is sexy ( but that's just me). we all have different tastes.
Next time you offer to call a girl give her an exact time and day. If she blows you off or is not there and doesn't return your call, you move on. Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your princess. :)
|
| |
|
| Jun 30 @ 9:53 AM |
literal vs understood
|
|
Loreli
Posts: 18,667
|
Here's my take:
The examples you started out with both sound the same. "See ya around", "call sometime". Neither are a definite as in "Let's do something next Saturday."
In the "call me....call in a few days and invite to something. If they keep giving excuses to get out of it, they just don't know how to say "I don't want to see you again."
And while that may be a little bit of game playing, they at least think enough of you to not want to hurt your feelings.
The "see ya around" could be THEIR shy way of letting you know they WANT you to call. It could be giving you an opening to invite them right then, to something else.
I wouldn't try to pick either saying apart....if you want to see them again-call.
If they keep blowing you off, tell them hey-you've got my number. And make other dates. It's all you can do.
|
|
| |
|
| Jul 1 @ 12:06 AM |
literal vs understood |
|
Say_Yes
Posts: 1,580
|
There are a lot of reasons men like younger woman. It makes them feel younger, it builds up their egos or they feel they can control them . Then sometimes people just happen to fall for one another and they can't even explain it.
While all of the above, may be somewhat true from time to time, you left out the most important reason that older men, like younger women. They (younger women) are less bitter and they don't spend so much time blaming the guy that they are currently dating, for all of the problems that they had with the last jerk, or set of jerks that they have dated (or been married to) in the past.
Take a look at Lacy's thread on tests that people tend to put in place, as they age. It happens much more than you may think. You would not believe how many hoops women have tried to make me jump through over the years, to see if I was like the jerk who had hurt them in the past. After a while, men get tired of the BS and we look for relationships that we can enjoy. Younger women often provide that. The relationship is fun, uncomplicated and based on the present, not the past. It is often unfulfilling as well, due to being in different places in life.
Personally, I much prefer to be in the company of women who are about the same age, as am I. We have more common ground, shared interests and life experiences.
|
| |
|
|