| Jul 31 @ 7:12 AM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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catman602
Posts: 560
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I go where the woman are . and I get zip . I have turned corners never found her . like I said . I send 10 emails out and zero come back . I am like this guy 
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| Jul 31 @ 8:37 AM |
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katydid438
Posts: 6,696
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I didn't give up  
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| Jul 31 @ 9:03 AM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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1RockinDude
Posts: 7,226
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Hang in there..you never know when !!!
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| Jul 31 @ 1:01 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love |
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Laidback742
Posts: 3,361
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Sure ... right around the corner by the lightpost you can find love .... for $100 a pop .... exotic name included.
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| Jul 31 @ 2:13 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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sweet5red
Posts: 8,067
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LB mine was right next door but it took 4 years kinda to see that.. Sweet n Louisiana 
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| Jul 31 @ 2:16 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love |
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ralph1up
Posts: 37
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Remember love my not come in the time we want it to,but when the time is right.
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| Jul 31 @ 2:47 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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Laidback742
Posts: 3,361
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Yeah, yeah .... my old saying, "What's right for you won't pass you by" .... ain't nothing right for me, I don't think .... done getting my hopes up anymore.
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| Jul 31 @ 5:21 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,790
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but the lack of truly being ready to allow it to happen.
Maybe some people just don`t want it to happen..its not a matter of allowing or not allowing..all things happen for a reason.
I`m an expert at it ya know...   
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| Jul 31 @ 8:22 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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painter007
Posts: 15,881
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Ahhhhhh laidback  Just have faith......I did.....and Kaboom......it happened......
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| Jul 31 @ 8:42 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love |
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signme
Posts: 9,378
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LB I feel like that often, but I never truly giveup hope. Just for a few days, then I find my optimism again. Oh well...even if I never find anyone I can be content by myself. I'd just feel much better if I had someone to share everything with.
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| Aug 11 @ 11:13 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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RareQuestor
Posts: 1,477
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One of my friends has given up on love primarily because he felt that he is not worthy of love. As he explained it to me, he would not date anyone with his physical flaws (he is deaf and has muscular dystrophy), so why should he expect anyone to love him. I suppose I could have pointed to any number of examples of exceptions or quoted some of the excellent advice that has already been offered in this thread, but I can't shake the feeling that he is right.  How often do you see a supermodel (or even just a model) marry an average guy, for example, or a handsome man marry an extremely obese woman? The reality is that exceptions are just that--exceptions rather than the rule.
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| Aug 12 @ 2:48 AM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love |
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marylou
Posts: 10,524
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I believe Love stands on its own.......disabilities defects or not. There are some who maybe cant love anyone unless they meet a certain criteria etc. But there are many that arent like that. I have a friend who married a paraplegic.....they adopted 2 children and were extatically happy for years before he died. Someone else I knew married a blind man.....and same result. Depends on the disability/disabilities I guess.
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| Aug 12 @ 10:13 AM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,847
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Warning! The following is pretty depressing. Read at your own risk.
On your comment RQ. Sadly, I would also have to agree with your friend to a great degree.
When I was in my late teens, early 20s and in college, I had a friend on the college campus with a serious muscular disease who was wheelchair bound. My then girlfriend and I used to visit him about once a week and we would have a pizza or burgers in his dorm room and just talk for a few hours about this and that.
Now and then, we would see him at other times and go for a walk together around the campus.
I learned something very quickly from that experience: a lesson which is obvious to me now, but was a rude awakening at the time. The vast majority of people put on a facade of making believe they were indifferent to this guy's handicap, but in reality were no where to be found when others weren't looking and the spotlight was turned off.
The worst of all was the occasional good looking girl who sort of "flirted" with him in public, but wouldn't have anything to do with him when the crowds weren't around. They used him as a kind of a circus prop.
The cold hard fact was that this guy was completely alone. He passed away a couple of years later.
If there is any consolation in this story it is this. At one time I had a brief discussion with him about this sort of thing and he told me this. After a lifetime of facing the blunt reality, he became accustomed to his loneliness (to whatever extent a person can become accustomed to that) and reached a certain level of acceptance that most other people could not relate to his differences.
Over the years I have observed people behaving like this over and over. When it comes to humans who are different from themselves, whether because of race, handicap, or something else, many people have one face in public, and quite another in private.
If Obama loses the election, there might be a new name for this behavior by the way. Call it the Obama Syndrome.
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| Sep 28 @ 10:35 AM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love |
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RareQuestor
Posts: 1,477
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DiamondRain observed that:
I learned something very quickly from that experience: a lesson which is obvious to me now, but was a rude awakening at the time. The vast majority of people put on a facade of making believe they were indifferent to this guy's handicap, but in reality were no where to be found when others weren't looking and the spotlight was turned off.
The worst of all was the occasional good looking girl who sort of "flirted" with him in public, but wouldn't have anything to do with him when the crowds weren't around. They used him as a kind of a circus prop.
and
Over the years I have observed people behaving like this over and over. When it comes to humans who are different from themselves, whether because of race, handicap, or something else, many people have one face in public, and quite another in private.
I passed your post to my friend and his response was that what is really painful is that so many women are happy to be his friend, but would no more consider a sexual relationship with him than they would eat a live rat or amputate their own arm or jam their head in a hot oven. It was simply unthinkable. Friendship is marvelous and precious, of course, but the fact of the matter is that we are all sexual beings who crave intimacy.
My friend also grumbled about how frequently well-intentioned people (of both genders) suggest that he should date a woman who also has muscular dystrophy. It is almost as insulting as saying "Why don't you date somebody from your own race?" or "Wouldn't you be happier with someone who can relate to you?"
My own observation is that people, whether male or female, are willing to overlook disfigurement (a scar or missing limb or hearing loss) but not deformity (e.g. a genetic disease such as Down's syndrome or muscular dystrophy.) Disfigurement can occur in any number of ways, after all, but deformity is visible proof that an individual is defective.
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| Sep 28 @ 4:49 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,847
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RQ:
My own observation is that people, whether male or female, are willing to overlook disfigurement (a scar or missing limb or hearing loss) but not deformity (e.g. a genetic disease such as Down's syndrome or muscular dystrophy.) Disfigurement can occur in any number of ways, after all, but deformity is visible proof that an individual is defective.
That is a good point and there is certainly logic to it.
If the science and laws of natural selection are right, and they apply to humans, then it stands to reason that there should be a natural aversion to procreating (i.e. having sex) with someone who had a known serious genetic defect.
And nature, as we all know, can be a cruel force.
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| Sep 28 @ 5:10 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love |
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equuisdancer
Posts: 320
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Then there are some of us who think the mind is the sexiest part of the human body. Those who look only at the shell are missing a great deal!
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| Sep 28 @ 5:15 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,847
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Then there are some of us who think the mind is the sexiest part of the human body. Those who look only at the shell are missing a great deal!
That is a noble notion, I think everyone agrees.
However, what we are discussing is that in practice, when it comes to many people with serious physical deformities, it doesn't apply. People talk about how they are oblivious to caring or even noticing such deformities, but when it comes down to it most people will not consider forming intimate physical relationships with people who have them.
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| Sep 28 @ 5:20 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love |
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Merchitown
Posts: 3,384
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Good Lord that's true, Equuis..I would go out with a rather attractive man, only to come to find that conversationally, he couldn't hold up his end of the bargain.
My own sister is wheel-chair bound and it's very hard to watch her loneliness. We were ecstatic when she finally became engaged, and there was that element of jealousy for me as I'm the older sister. It was a great feeling to have that emotion for her! It was a moment of "Oh my gosh! she has something that I can be jealous of!! that's wondeful!!" Who knew that having the green monster could be an indicator of something good! Oops, I digress.
Well, her engagement was pulled off due to his inability to cope with certain aspects that make up her disability. Yes, some of it was due to her inability to cope with it as well...but Lord, it's heart-breaking. She's more alone than she was before.
It's a little too soon to be telling her, no worries hon, their are other fish in the sea, as she is still going through the grieving process of this one.
I've watched a few men attempt to converse with her, but not actually follow through with anything more than a light friendship. So frustrating.
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| Sep 28 @ 5:30 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love
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equuisdancer
Posts: 320
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DR...
People talk about how they are oblivious to caring or even noticing such deformities, but when it comes down to it most people will not consider forming intimate physical relationships with people who have them
Not everyone is "most people" yes it takes two special people to have a relationship like that..but I have seen it and it does work. I think they may be happier than a whole lot of people. Never rule anything out..you might be missing the best thing in your life!
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| Sep 29 @ 7:38 PM |
For Those Who Have Given Up On Love |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,847
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Not everyone is "most people"
Which is why I used the word "most" and not the word "all."
As with most generalizations for the sake of conversation there are exceptions. But what I had in mind is the hypocrisy of so many people when it comes to putting on a false facade of compassion.
I much prefer people who have the courage to say what they really feel instead of having to conform to what they think will impress others. Frankly, people like that seem the more compassionate to me. But it is all too rare.
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