| Jul 25 @ 9:40 PM |
How Can I Stop Doing This?
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georgiapeach42
Posts: 310
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Honey HIS opinion of you should be the only one that matters. I know you probably think how can this really great guy love me. But he does and he sees you for the beautiful woman that you are inside and out. Put your worries aside and just enjoy that love. 
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| Jul 25 @ 9:40 PM |
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georgiapeach42
Posts: 310
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I wish you all the best sweetie.
[Edited on 7/25/2008 9:45 PM]
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| Jul 25 @ 9:42 PM |
How Can I Stop Doing This?
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 7,624
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The issue is with me, NOT with him.
I AM NOT with you, nor with him; quit spreading those rumors. 
if I were with you i'd be happy  , off the market , looking at marriage , and wondering where to put the gun collection in the white house. 
with him, sorry, he is not my type. i don't like his hair....  
go find something to go do baby girl. you think too much 
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| Jul 25 @ 9:43 PM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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I love his hair. Thank god it's not green or some weird ass shit. I'd have to eat his face off if he did that.
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| Jul 25 @ 9:52 PM |
How Can I Stop Doing This?
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daisy315
Posts: 4,329
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LGQ.. email Lazareth about this.. she was engaged to a guy from Finland for a couple of years. You're right about the Fins, they drink alcohol like we drink iced tea here in the south. They are raised on it.. Maybe she can give you some insight on this.. Finland has one of the highest incedences of alcoholism..
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| Jul 25 @ 10:28 PM |
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lazareth
Posts: 1,081
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oh boy was he a drinker. vodka, and bought it by the gallons every friday and the drinking went on friday night and saturday night.When he wasn;t drinking he was the sweetest guy you ever wanted to meet. But when He got drunk, anger issues about Russians (go figure since the Fnnish beat the Russians asses, they couldnt handle the cold)
The anger just took ahold of him, he bacame another person, and yes, Finnish people frink vodka like we drink water. I asked him about it.
Wish I knoew what part of Finland Jukka was from, have been wondering for years if he drank himself to death yet.
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| Jul 26 @ 1:25 AM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,270
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The issue is with me, NOT with him.
Ok, going out on a limb here and saying, I do know what you are talking about ok?
I really understand and I am not sure you will ever feel secure ok?
I come from a family of so called abusers, ( drinking/drugs) Some times they are so sweet, and then again, they can be mean and wanting to fight.
I feel very uncomfortable around people like this. Even if they are my favorite people. I rarely am around any people like this any more either.
I have seen people go to jail, and the hospital.
I know I am insecure around these kind of people.
Your wonderful man ( and mine) have probably never seen or lived with this before and don't and can't understand.
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| Jul 26 @ 3:55 AM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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Marko really only drinks beer 
Honestly, I'm not worried about "alcoholism", and I don't think you guys need to be worried for me, as you've never even spoken to the guy, but thank you =D
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| Jul 26 @ 4:18 AM |
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custis
Posts: 1,331
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Ok, this is pretty simple. Do not create problems in your mind that do not exist. If the drinking does turn into a true problem, you can worry about it then. But until then, just forget about it. Otherwise you are going to worry until you build a huge house of cards inside of your mind that is all about "what if." And if that happens, you will start treating Markos the same way my ex treated me. My ex would get bitchy if I sat down and relaxed with one freaking beer, and I am a guy who even at my worst, never misbehaved when drinking. She would issue snide remarks and give me crap until I would finally get angry and tell her to go do something with herself if she would not leave me alone. Then she would get all indignant and say "There! See how that stuff makes you act?" I could not win for losing and it was ridiculous.
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| Jul 26 @ 4:19 AM |
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SpiritEnergy
Posts: 16,959
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Do EFT on it or email me and I can work on it for you...see if it will clear. If not, EFT may do the trick. It can really work.
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| Jul 26 @ 9:23 AM |
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,959
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Based on past experience, your brain is now wired to think in a certain way. You need to take the step back and consciously decide to reprogram your brain, based on CURRENT reality.
What purpose is it serving you to fall into the Anxiousness Pit when thoughts of Marko drinking cross your mind?
Is it necessary to ASS-U-ME the worst today, in the same way you were sure of the worst in the past?
When these thoughts cross your mind, you need to bring your mind back to the present moment. Examine the CURRENT facts. And allow them to stand as the Truth they represent.
Then accept them.
Bottom line: You are not the same person today that you were when drinking really was an issue in your relationship. Marko is not the same person with whom you were involved before. Literally, that was then, this is now and you need to live in now, not the past.
And after giving your Self a minute of this kind of thinking to re-balance, get up and go do something constructive. 
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| Jul 26 @ 9:28 AM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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Thanks Sci =)
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| Jul 26 @ 9:41 AM |
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DiamondRain
Posts: 4,901
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I've already given my opinion, and still think it is right.
I will add this.
Getting drunk on a repeated basis (even if it is not so often) is a problem even though you don't believe it is possibly alcoholic behavior (I still do).
If my gf did exactly the thing you describe, I would be very upset and rightfully so. When you are drunk, you lose contact with reality and are subject to doing things that can cause your partner pain and both of you serious trouble. If someone I loved did this, I would be angry and hurt that they would be so careless and reckless with our relationship.
So I'm still reaching the same conclusion but now for another reason.
If he can so easily give this drinking up (as you say you think he can), yet he doesn't, and doesn't seem to be sensitive to how you feel about it without your having to say anything at all, the problem and fault is his, and not yours.
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| Jul 26 @ 9:47 AM |
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lj450
Posts: 8,399
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The need to "fix" people, or conditions around you can be a problem as well.
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| Jul 26 @ 9:50 AM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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Where are you getting this idea that I want to "fix" him, LJ?
Tell me where I said that.
DR- he hasn't stopped because I haven't asked him to and I'm not going to ask him to. He can do what he wants. I need to stop flipping out over every little thing. No offence, but you've never spoken to my boyfriend before, so withhold your judgment call about his "alcohol problem". I know many, many American men that drink way more often than he does and no one ever says that they have a problem.
[Edited on 7/26/2008 9:54 AM]
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| Jul 26 @ 9:50 AM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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double post
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| Jul 26 @ 9:56 AM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,329
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Nope, you very clearly said you wanted to fix yourself. You're choosing who you want to be, and that's the first step to becoming her. You can hold onto your hurt, and be mean, and suspicious and negative, or you can take a deep breath and trust.
Sometimes that trust IS repaid with a slap in the face - when that happens, I usually just back out and hope for better next time. One thing though - this is all about you and how you feel about yourself. No matter what anyone says, it's not about how they feel about you - and don't ever take any negative comments from others to heart unless you really think they're true - more often it's going to be their own negative outlook displaying itself.
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| Jul 26 @ 10:07 AM |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,305
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The comment I made on the previous page about Mom was NOT derogatory in any way. 
I meant, I have raised 2 young men.
I did not know at first about their partying.
I tried my best to get them to stop. My oldest did, after some screwups. He learned. My youngest took it to the point he was almost killed in a car accident.
He use to be sweet when he was drinking with his buddies.
Then he became angry.
Yes, cleanse yourself of the past and you and Marko have a great relationship...
Just don't ignore warning signs, sweetie.
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| Jul 26 @ 10:14 AM |
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lj450
Posts: 8,399
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Where are you getting this idea that I want to "fix" him, LJ?
Tell me where I said that.
Tell me where I said you said that. 
Dont be changing my wordations.
The theme of my above post was......acceptance. It wasnt personal. I dont post in paragraphs, I am concise. If you choose to expound on my post without consulting me, feel free to be wrong quite often.
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| Jul 26 @ 10:17 AM |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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Sorry ^_^;;
I have to apologigate for that.
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