| Oct 17, 2008 @ 10:34 AM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
Fender
Posts: 8,516
|
If it's just an online crush or the real thing?
Wouldn't you be pissed if you spent tons of money to go to another country, state or even province and it didn't work out?
I know there is no harm in trying but sometimes I wonder 
..In the past I have had little crushes on here. Usually if someone makes me laugh all the time or is smart. I like that. Thing is though, that is just me enjoying them online. Would I in person? That's the burning question.
What do you guy's think?
(Yes I know already some have met on here and fallen in love, and also fallen in love and split up too!)
|
|
  |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 10:37 AM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
kjac
Posts: 8,163
|
From personal experience, I can say you should spend time with them before making any kind of committment. I mean real time, not just a day visit or two.
Like say, spending a few days in their closet. 
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 10:45 AM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
Merchitown
Posts: 6,130
|
It's hard to make that transition. I can't say I've ever done it successfully. Hence the single status. So take what I say with a whole can of salt.
Visits at least tell you if there is a possibility there. And if you're going that far away, it best be for at LEAST a few days. Take it slow...damn, that's hard for me to do. But as far as moving....uhm....LOL I think that tends to freak alot of people out that their partner is willing to relocate for them. That's a major step! And if it doesn't work, then what happens? We tend to get weirded out, all of a sudden it's on us if the relationship doesn't work. Alot of assurance needs to occur as well as having a backup plan. 
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 10:54 AM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
Fender
Posts: 8,516
|
I honestly, and mean this...Do not think I could give up my whole life to move somewhere else.
Making me laugh online is fine, as per someone putting up with my b.s. daily, I don't think they could handle me. Although if it work's for some, more power to them.
I think you would need to spend alot of time getting to know someone before you even met, but that's just me. I'm sure for some, 2 phonecalls and they are already in love...
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 10:59 AM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
Merchitown
Posts: 6,130
|
Hmm...giving up my whole life...
I guess I don't see it as such. My life is contained in me. A move is just another transition. And as long as there is a nice strong safety net..then it's an adventure! But yeah, it's definitely something that isn't done after a couple phone calls!
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 11:09 AM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
kjac
Posts: 8,163
|
It sounds to me like you already get it fen. It's not something you jump into. Especially in your situation. (I'm talking about mini-fen, not your mental illness)
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 11:12 AM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
katydid438
Posts: 8,023
|
I'm looking forward to meeting my crush in person  then who knows Neither one of us is into the, rush into something fast thing. Lots to consider and lots of time to make decisions 
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 11:19 AM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
Merchitown
Posts: 6,130
|
Ohhhh well with a mini-fen involved....hell no! But for now, it's just me in the voices in my head.
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 11:43 AM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
|
How Can You Tell? you've looked long and hard before you've jumped.
Only you can decided when it is time to keep looking or when its time to jump
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 11:52 AM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
|
Good signs its time to jump.
1) you're daily email limit on one person, for three months straight.
2) you've ordered online monogrammed towels.
3) your family and her family have had 4 online web sessions. Mr. and Mrs.Time0356 meet Mr. and Mrs. coffeefan34.
4) you have each others passwords to the dating sight youve met each other at.
5) upon receiving each others passwords, you have each turned the others profile "gay"
6) after all the "warning" hate mail has finally stopped and it hasn't effected the feeling or views of one another.
7) when youve been O-married atlease three times to each other at miss reds house of online love.
8) both parties have sign a pre pre nup.
9) when all you can think of is closer, closer.
10) youve found yourself mindlessly driving 1800 miles and poof, ya there.
[Edited on 10/17/2008 12:02 PM]
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 11:56 AM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
lj450
Posts: 9,551
|
Internet profiles can have crushes on other internet profiles. No big deal.
Where the confusion arises is when people try to actually live their lives through their internet profiles.....virtual reality becomes actual reality to them.
It is important to remember that we are just seeing a glimpse of the actual person behind the screen when interacting online. People who think they can "read" a person, or judge the content of their true character based solely on internet forum posts are shitting themselves. You cant really know someone until you can touch them and feel them, and interact with them with no mouse or keyboard in the way.
No one calls me LJ450 in the real world.
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 11:57 AM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
Silver1961
Posts: 4,326
|
Ever hear A hole  
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 12:02 PM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
Fender
Posts: 8,516
|
not your mental illness
shhh, that's supposed to be a secret
No one calls me LJ450 in the real world
No, I call you peaches
Where the confusion arises is when people try to actually live their lives through their internet profiles.....virtual reality becomes actual reality to them.
So true, have I told you yet today how smart you are.
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 7:05 PM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
Ruthless666
Posts: 198
|
I did spend tons of money....three trips to the US...however I wasn't pissed about it, it was a good way to have a look around.
Florida seemed to have a drinking and drug problem...undetectable online 
Michigan...now Michigan was definitely bi-polar...again....not until in person did I realise this  plus it's freakin' COLD there!
Texas....ah dear Texas, lovely guy, we communicated for years by email, chat and phone. I finally made the trip and had a wonderful time BUT, it turned out he had zero work ethic...couldn't pay the rent or cable and was unconcerned tellling me "The lord will provide". Yeah well the lord doesn't pay the rent does he/she? And here was a clue, most of his business was conducted in the pub! Still I'll always have fond thoughts of him.
These days I wouldn't visit the next town let alone fly halfway around the world for any man, but can truly say I have no regrets.
One of them might have been the right guy for me, but I would never have known if I didn't go to find out, and more than ever now I appreciate being single.
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 7:09 PM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
|
Meet in person and see how you feel after really being around each other and staying with each other for awhile.
And no, people's big flaws aren't always undetectable over the internet. Mine were very detectable 
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 7:11 PM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
|
4th times the charm Ruth.
Try Montana. 
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 8:21 PM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
|
Come to think of it, the only person I "dated" from on line is my husband Haban.
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 8:24 PM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
Merchitown
Posts: 6,130
|
I've had a couple relationships where I had met him via online...LDR's. I can usually tell whether it will work or not, and whether it warrants a move. So far...none have.
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 8:38 PM |
How Can You Tell?
|
|
BandTMom
Posts: 38,063
|
I don't know how you can tell. Even when you think you know someone very well and have met them in person, you can still get a sucker punch you never expected.
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 17, 2008 @ 8:43 PM |
How Can You Tell? |
|
ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 8,070
|
always make a back up plan
|
| |
|
|
|
|