| Nov 2, 2008 @ 7:31 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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teddybearagain
Posts: 808
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First, let me begin by saying that the reason this is not on the forum under announcements is because it is about dating. Two people not wanting to announce anything other then a friendship turned into something more.
It began about nine months ago. What started as two people engaging in conversation, innocent flirting, and banter back n forth in emails and blog posts.
Through the last nine months they have found friendship, have experienced tears together or for the other, have laughed like kids, shared their families with one another, and most importantly communicated.
They both feel communication is key to any relationship, whether it be friendship, or a romantic relationship. Along with communication trust has to be in place, as well as honesty.
I still flirted, engaged in "what if" relationships with other men from this site, as well as he exploring the 'what if" of other women coming into his life.
Our first meet was wonderful. He was more than I had thought he would be. But, there was one big issue that stood in our way. No, it wasn't distance. Although distance is what steered me away from him in the beginning. It was me. It was I who was our hurdle.
You see, I was "interested" in another man. A man that he knows about. A man that I kept a secret from him in the beginning. Was I wrong for not disclosing the truth about why our first meet was one that ended in me telling him it just won't work? Yes. Since this time, I have opened my world and my heart up to him to enter. Let me tell you though, the most interesting part of all.
When I said to him, .. "You know what, it just won't work, and please don't ask me why." He accepted it. He didn't like it, but he accepted and respected my wish to not discuss it. It wasn't until I reached back out for him that he finally heard the truth.
During this time, we still spoke, we still emailed, we still acted as friends. He never pushed, never questioned, never got angry. He in his subtle ways would still let me know that he had very strong feelings for me. A romantic note, whatever the "gesture of the day" would be.
I realized that I was holding on to something that I knew in my heart I shouldn't, that something for another man. When I finally realized that my arms and my heart were ready to receive the gift of a loving, tender man.
We are not announcing a forever love, we are not announcing another MD success story, however, we are here to banter and talk about real grown ups, facing the everyday challenges of a long distance relationship, a trust that comes with that, and to share a story that we don't even know how it will end. We only know what our hopes and dreams are, and we will plan to communicate and work towards those dreams together.
If you care to be a part of our journey, and to engage in adult conversations please join us as we share with you all the ups, downs, challenges, truth about on line relationships.
To all the men who hold a special place in my heart from here, you always will, and that won't change. And to all the women, ..back off! (KIDDING, sheesh)
I have told many friends before that if you post your personal life on MD, you're bound to get slammed by the trolls, and disbelievers. However, I and/or we are not doing that. We are trying to open up the topic and to openly communicate with you, our friends about your own personal stories, experiences, and why or why not they did or didn't work. Please join us in a new type of thread where civilized adult conversation can take place.
Teddy and Jeffky
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 7:36 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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EyesofBlue72660
Posts: 13,047
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The best to both of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
So adult, so realistic and oh, sooooooooooooooo refreshing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 7:39 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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teddybearagain
Posts: 808
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TY Eyes, ...we're hopeful that this thread will be more of a discussion about the journey of getting from one place to the next, and the trials faced along the way.
TY 
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 7:55 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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leprichaun_magic
Posts: 953
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ah good luck to you both teddy xx:)
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 7:57 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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poeticcougar
Posts: 301
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First of all, P, congrats
I'll stick to stalking ppl, its much easier on me  nah, I've given up...not given up HOPE but given up on meeting anyone online. I just let things happen day to day. If someone comes along, fine, if not, fine. I did the online thing and had my heart broken so it will take someone SUPER special to change my heart on that again.
Thanks for telling us though and all the best!
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 8:10 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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Jeffky49
Posts: 137
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Needless to say, her words and the way she communicated with me drew me to her long before we ever met face to face. Yes, we have faced challenges and hurdles that had to be overcame, but the one thing that never changed was our friendship and communication.
Fortunately for me, I am a very patient person, and knew all along that there was something special about "us" and I wasn't willing to let it fall to the wayside. There were tears and hurt along the journey to where we are today, but never anger or harshness. Please understand the one thing that always survived was the communication........the unexpected phone calls and emails to each other. It was our way of letting the other know that we still cared............and if the time was ever right that we would seize the moment.
Although the first meeting was fantastic and she was more than I ever expected, the timing still wasn't right. Yes, I continued the 'what if' with others here, but never gave up hope. When she asked why I was willing to come back after she sent me away the first time.....my only way to explain this is listen to song "The Dance" by Garth Brooks.
As we begin our journey down the road of hopes and dreams, join with us as friends..........and please be adult and civilized as we have requested
Jeffky49 and Teddybear
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 8:15 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Best wishes
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 8:16 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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teddybearagain
Posts: 808
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Jeff, said so eloquently as always.
The Dance
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 8:23 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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willowy1
Posts: 9,181
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 wishing you both all the good things!
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 8:40 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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CrackerJackPat
Posts: 794
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I am JUST SO TICKLED!!!!! Long distance???? Why that's just a good stretch of road!!!! I thought you were talking between OH & WA or something!!!! Still, distance is hard. You can bet you'll be in my prayers!!! Communication!!! Amen!
You guys just made my day!!! Thanks for sharing! 
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 9:10 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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KAOS2007
Posts: 8,201
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I feel a lot like Coug'z, in that, online relationships are just too difficult. For a variety of reasons. But that doesn't mean they don;t work, because I have seen that they do for others.
I think it depends on the degree of what one has experienced online. Sometimes a huge letdown can just make you shut down, and put the whole "meeting" someone away for good. Friends, flirt, sure. But it actually working out? Nah. The best ones are never nearby, ever. I've often thought that is just a cruel game the interwebz gods play on all of us.
Then again, they may seem the best, but in my experience, until the meeting and spending time with one another, you can never really know. Words on a screen are all powerful if you're in that mind space, but they cannot replace reality, and usually never do.
I wish you the best in your adventure with one another, and I commend you on opening up here about it. MD has certainly made "matches" that have lasted, so it's certainly possible. All good things to both of you. 
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 9:16 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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Kenn159
Posts: 4,402
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I'm very glad you found someone special Teddy. 
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 9:23 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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teddybearagain
Posts: 808
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True, Kaos, I think until two people meet, and talk, talk, talk, .. they have no idea if they are truly "interested" in someone. Words are words, until put to a heart, in person. If two people are wanting of something to work, it can. The hard part is I think that one person often says they are, but doesn't back it up with actions. In our case, the friendship has been laid so to speak, the communication lines have always remained opened, and now, it's the how part. We know how, and step by step we will get closer to reaching our goal. If along the journey we come to hurdles we'll face those then.
We wanted to open this up and share some real stories about what obstacles stand in the way when two people come together. Whether it be two people who live in the same town, or states away.
Face it, when we reach the middle ages of our lives, as we have there are things that stand in the way. I'll touch briefly on a couple things, then hopefully we can engage further in discussion about some of them, and more.
For instance; ... kids. I'm raising a son still, who's ten. Is Jeff willing and not only willing but wanting to take on the task of being a role model for Chad? This was something that was discussed in great length. Also, Jeff has a daughter he's raisied who is 17. Am I willing and wanting to be a role model to her? Are our kids able to accept our decision? Through honesty, trust and lots of talking we've reached a decision that we believe all involved will not only be accepting of, but wanting. Words such as blessed, honored and excited have been mentioned. When we choose as adults to be in a relationship, we have to think of our kids. We felt that way, anyway, and think most would. In our case my son has been without a male role model in his life, and his daughter without a female role model. We ALL, all four of us are excited to see where this goes.
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 9:24 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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KAOS2007
Posts: 8,201
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The hard part is I think that one person often says they are, but doesn't back it up with actions. Ding ding ding! We have a winner.  
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 9:31 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,951
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Congratulations guys!!!!!! That's amazing!!!! I wish you the best of luck.
And
I thought you were talking between OH & WA or something!!!! Blah, I wish!!!
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 9:43 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,094
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Communication, respect, patience and love=a relationship worth working on and watching it blossom into something mind boggling and beautiful
You have my admiration in the way you both are handling this new adventure. Best wishes for a successful journey to your togetherness
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 9:44 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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Jeffky49
Posts: 137
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Thanks LGQ. I have read many of your posts and knew you would understand. We may not live across the U.S from each other, but there is a 350 mile obstacle. I make the trip as often as I can, although it's not as often as I would like it to be.
Internet and long distance relationships are not for everyone....but it is certainly an avenue to meeting people. Let's face it, if the person we're searching for was in our own backyard we wouldn't have the need to be here.
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 9:45 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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sensuouswoman
Posts: 4,012
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What started as two people engaging in conversation, innocent flirting, and banter back n forth in emails and blog posts.
Through the last nine months they have found friendship, have experienced tears together or for the other, have laughed like kids, shared their families with one another, and most importantly communicated.
They both feel communication is key to any relationship, whether it be friendship, or a romantic relationship. Along with communication trust has to be in place, as well as honesty.
...........................................................................................................................
...........................................
Our first meet was wonderful. He was more than I had thought he would be.
That is awesome Teddybear........... .....I wish both of you happiness that you seek in each other. I have to say I am going thru a similar situation........but we are taking it slow because I am in school and he's been a widower for a couple of years. But if it doesn't work out for either of us.........we will remain friends.....and he will be especially.........most importantly..............my mentor!
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 9:48 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,951
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Thanks LGQ. I have read many of your posts and knew you would understand. We may not live across the U.S from each other, but there is a 350 mile obstacle. I make the trip as often as I can, although it's not as often as I would like it to be.
I totally understand this. I've still got two months until I see Marko again, though the last four have seemed to fly by...so I'm feeling pretty optimistic. Whenever I start to feel down about my situation I think of something I read somewhere...
"Distance - for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough."
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| Nov 2, 2008 @ 10:32 PM |
A Relationship Worth Exploring - A different type of thread |
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missliss78
Posts: 5,189
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I knew who "he" was as soon as I started reading this.
I'm not offering up congrats, as I don't think that's what y'all are looking for....but I'll pop by to enjoy the journey with you along the way to where ever you're going.
And, of course, I wish you both the best of luck!
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